He apparently is a very good liar because I did not have a clue. I had not worked in years, have 3 children but started a job about 5 months ago. When our income tax money came I took it and paid bills. I was afraid he would get it and spend it on drugs. He was furious. A couple of weeks after that he begged to come back home, even having his family call me to say how miserable he was without me & the kids. He has been mentally abusive since, he cusses me & ignores me but talks to everyone else. He says its my fault...that everything would be fine if i would just chill out. I'm now afraid he is just trying to make me look crazy and telling people that he's trying but I'm the one thats mean & abusive. What do you think he's trying to do or am i just being paranoid?
2007-07-02 10:56:24 · 11 answers · asked by ka_ce 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's a drug user, a cheat, a liar, and he's abusive. Why would you let him back into your life, and those of the kids?
It is guilt talking, when he blames you for what happened. It's something very common with cheaters. And the fact that he does blame you, means he would have no guilt about doing it again, because it would still be "your fault" and not his. Until he owns his responsibility, you have no chance of keeping him faithful.
Using his family is also common. He wants what he wants now, he was not going to give you time to realise you were better off without him. He can't see why, even though HE walked out, HE cheated, why HE can't come home and do just what HE wants. For him, it is all about him. And now he has what he wants, has seen that he can manipulate you, he has no respect for you, and feels he can do what he pleases, and you will put up with it.
If he really wanted to be with you, why did he get abusive, once he got what he wanted? It's because he doesn't think of you as a person, just an object to blame his failings on. And that's not going to change. He is selfish and immature. Your only choices are to shut up and put up with it, or kick his sorry a*s to the kerb.
Try to do the right thing for you, and your kids. Protect them and yourself, and do it sooner rather than later. Its not going to get any better.
2007-07-02 11:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Hun, i find it so hurtful that men treat women like this, you know what you feel, you know you dont deserve it, and you know that no matter what anyone on the outside may think, you are in the right here, you mention drugs, he may have a habit, i dont know, either way, it is inexcusable for him to have an affair and then to go and abuse you in this manner.
You seem to be a strong honest person, you can pick yourself up from this and move on to a better life, allow yourself help from real friends, get protection from him, legal restraining order, be careful of him, move out or put him out, you will not have a happy life with this guy. I wish you happiness in your future, good luck.
2007-07-02 11:19:50 · answer #2 · answered by natc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get some self esteem! Why would you put up with someone like him? Make that a@@hole move out, sue him for custody, alimony and child support, change the locks on the doors and get a real man in your life. Jeez! You are crazy for putting up with that!
2007-07-02 11:07:24 · answer #3 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one knows what goes on behind closed doors and it really isn't anyone's business. You know the truth and that's what counts. Let him talk all he wants. Actions speak louder than words and you should have thrown his *** out. Tell his family that they don't have all the facts and that you are not his doormat. Thank them for their support and then go find a real support group.
2007-07-02 11:01:59 · answer #4 · answered by Dorthy_Gail 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU are the one who chose to let him back in the home. I would have had all of the locks changed and whatever he left behind on the front porch, and filed for divorce, I wouldn't have allowed him to disrespect me and his family that way.
2007-07-02 11:05:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not crazy or paranoid....just keep your guard up with him. If he has a drug problem his mood swings will vary and there is no rationalizing with an addict.
2007-07-02 11:02:19 · answer #6 · answered by Lynnae_1969 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like my husband. Let him go. He will bad mouth you just to justify what he is doing. Drop him.
2007-07-02 11:04:35 · answer #7 · answered by michie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel because i have a silmar situation. it is hard because you have children and you still love him the only advice i have is pray, it changes everything.
2007-07-02 11:08:18 · answer #8 · answered by dynasty4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did I hear the word 'drug'.....don`t say more.....you don`t need this burden. Show him the door.
2007-07-02 12:42:19 · answer #9 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is using you, doesn't respect you, and will cheat again.
Please kick him to the curb sister, you deserve much better!
2007-07-02 11:03:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋