How can you keep the spark alive?

Question

How can you keep the butterflies , the Im never hungry feeling cause youre pretty much living on love ? What are things you can do to have that feeling again ? Ive been with my husband for 6 years and I WISH I still had that feeling !!!!

Answer 1

While that exact feeling may never come back, don't give up. All marriages go through this: you can't be in love with someone ALL of the time. You fall in and out of love with your mate-- that is just life. It actually makes life more interesting. The key is just sticking with it-- marriage is a commitment in good times and in bad. Oddly enough, we have a lot of control over our feelings, whether we know it or not. Choose to fall back in love with him-- you might just surprise yourself!

Answer 2

Question: do you still do the same things together that you did when you were first together? Do you still say the same things? Well, if you don't, you should. Look, you'll never get the exact feelings back from the first time you got together, no more than you can get the first time you ever had sex or the first time you ever saw your favorite movie back, but you can develop something equally as strong, more permanent, and ultimately better. It takes effort. It takes time. It takes work. It takes BOTH people to do it, though. Start by practicing all the things you used to do. Say "I love you" every single day. Continue to surprise one another with gifts and secrets. Hold hands and kiss in public. Take chances with your sex life. Try new things. The more you ACT like you're madly in love, the longer you will BE madly in love. Love has to be cultivated. If you just settle into your rut and leave it, you'll never get "it" back again. Instead of sitting here wishing you had that feeling, go out, buy yourself something sexy, and surprise your husband when he gets home with dinner and some "fun." Then talk to him and try to get him to return the favor. Work together, and you'll stay together. I've been married for 7 years, and I feel exactly the same now that I did when we first got married. So I know this works!

Answer 3

Just so you know, this happens in all long term relationships. It is one of the best feelings ever! Thats why there are so many affairs...people want that! My husband and I used to take the time to talk and remember about our first year together. We did alot of smiling, laughing and looking directly into each others eyes... we could almost feel those butterflies again. Relationships go from gitty puppy love to serious with many responsiblities. I take pride in the years that I shared with my husband, I knew him better than anyone else did, even his parents.That is a bond that you can cherish.
Sex is VERY important. Be open with each other and try new things. Dress him in clothing that YOU think he looks really good in, Take a trip to the "toy" store, have a few drinks, slow dance, heck...sneak outside to the back yard in the dark to have some fun.

Answer 4

The spark will come and go. What makes a marriage last is the thoughtful things you do for one another which causes the other person to have endearing thoughts toward you. My ex-husband and I divorced after 20 years of marriage, not because there was no spark left, but because in all honesty, there was a taking for granted of one another and an overall sense that the other person didn't matter (there was much more than that, but I'll spare you the drama).

My new husband and I have that spark, not because we are newly married, since we have been together awhile, but because there is mutual acceptance, consideration and respect. He loves to go out with his buddies and let his hair down now and then and watch a game. I not only let him do that, I encourage it. He is so happy to have a wife who understands his need to do that, that when he comes home and I am suggesting he come to bed with me, then he is feeling so loved and appreciated that he goes out of his way to do nice things for me, such as take my daughter and her friends swimming when I'm not in the mood or take my son to the skatepark, or take me out dancing. He fixes dinner sometimes and is a supportive listener. Because both of us try to do for each other what we know the other person needs, the other person appreciates it so much that they reciprocate. When you have two people acting in mutual respect, consideration and thoughtfulness toward one another, then you have a spark that comes back over and over again, even if it disappears for a time.

Best wishes to you both. Just remember that marriage isn't about feelings so much as it is about commitment. Sometimes we don't "feel" in love with the other person at a particular moment or period of time, but if we "choose" to love the other person as best we can, it will come full circle and we will feel their love in return and that "feeling" can come back.

Answer 5

I know what your looking for. Have you tried dating him? Having a romantic candle lite bubble bath with wine? Spend the weekend away together (even if you go no further than a hotel at least your way from everyone and your together). Put on a nice nightie with some pumps and meet him at the door after work. Prepare a candle light dinner. Play an erotic board game.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

My hubby and I have a date night at least once a month. We get dressed up, go out to dinner, and then to a hotel room. We make sweet lovins all night long and wake up in each other's arms. (The hotel makes it special, because it's not the same old same old like it is at home...with the kids around...laundry everywhere...things to do. It's a nice short vacation away from home.)

I can tell when we are due for a date night, because we tend to lose that spark.

Answer 7

sorry, but i don't think you can rekinddle the feeling of new found love. very few people have that feeling all of their lives. most relationships and marriages change over time as the relationship/marriage evolves. i would reccommend to do things together that you both enjoy. you'll notice that having more fun often brings you closer together and gets you close to having that "living in love" feeling. however, i don't think that it can be duplicated

Answer 8

It's the new car syndrome. The new car is exciting and new. 5 years later, you see a nicer looking car and you are tired of the one you have. This is normal. Learn to appreciate the car you have. It is predictable and reliable.

Answer 9

Probably the toughest thing in the world to do. wish I had a perfect answer; it will take an effort by both of you, I do know that.

Answer 10

That's easy dear. Remember how eager the two of you were in the past to please each other? Remember that, and you shall feel like you're on your first ten dates again.