We have been engaged for 2 yrs and he just got out of debt and has some extra money now.I want to put money away for a house/wedding(both of us) but instead he keeps buying expensive stuff(drums/car stuff/guns) that total over 3k with no signs of stoping.He knows i have my share of the money for the house/wedding but he will not put any away himself(he wants to buy a house too).I can't help but think he expects me to put the whole down payment on the house.When i have talked to him about it he says he will put his share of the wedding on a c.c but what about the down payment on a house?I think now that his debt is cleared up and he has extra money some of it should go in the bank to pay for these things rather than buying expensive toys.
2007-07-02 09:07:14 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
You're perfectly entitled to feel that way. Getting married means being wise and careful with money. Isn't your boyfriend mentally too childish yet? He needs a good instructor: you! Best wishes.
2007-07-02 09:17:40 · answer #1 · answered by shake4me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are money opposites and I will tell you it has been rough going. Money is 1 of the main reasons for divorce. If you have these issues now you may want to hold off on the marriage.
We have several things we have done to address these concerns. Separate accounts so when he takes money out of the ATM I don't have to be concerned. I pay all the bills (his from his account and mine from mine), I take money from his account and put it into a "joint" savings account. That he doesn't know about this saving account....oops!
2007-07-02 10:30:19 · answer #2 · answered by beth l 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you reassess marrying this person. Anyone who would prefer to go into debt to get married (not to mention the fact that he has no obvious desire to live anywhere but in an apartment), is NOT someone who seems serious about his future...with or without you. He seems very puerile and much more interested in his toys and hobbies than starting an ADULT life.
I would urge you to either get marital counseling or call of this sure-to-be-fiasco of a wedding.
2007-07-02 09:22:13 · answer #3 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the two of you should sit down and figure out what your main prospectives for the future are. Remember sweety, a relationship of any kind with or without the legal contract, is 50-50...But the most important thing between two people is there communication...
Hold off the bells 'till both your minds are clear.
LALA
2007-07-02 09:16:46 · answer #4 · answered by lala 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
possibly he's no longer as waiting to calm down as you're. that's a demonstration of issues to come lower back in case you get married now. Is there a huge rush? Your priorities are in 2 diverse places. carry off on marrying till you could the two agree on a thank you to proceed financially. It appears like he needs to shop slightly greater and doubtless, you're able to desire to loosen up slightly and have relaxing! It appears like he substitute into in charge adequate to get out of debt, permit him have slightly relaxing along with his money. I actual have a feeling it won't final and if he's severe approximately beginning a life with you, he will shop after he's accumulated some "stuff" he needs. Being financially properly suited in a marriage is a huge deal. till you could sense such as you're the two on a similar website while it comprises saving/spending wait it out. you're able to desire to comprehend if it relatively is a piece for him or a demonstration of issues to come lower back. reliable success :)
2016-10-03 10:33:33 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look up some books by dave ramsey! Think about if this is something you can live with for the rest of your life. Money is the number one issue for divorces, I hear. I really hope you get this resolved before you get married! btw, in my opinion, he should be spending the money on you! Best wishes!
2007-07-02 09:17:26 · answer #6 · answered by j c 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd be highly upset and honestly, start wondering if he really wants to go through with the wedding/house purchase.
2007-07-02 09:15:59 · answer #7 · answered by Kimberly K 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hey. well take a real good look at the man you want to marry and the man who he currently is. id think 1000 times and say no to this guy.
2007-07-02 13:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP RIGHT NOW - Don't get married.
He obviously does not have a WE attitude and is somewhat self-centered and not thinking of BOTH of you when he spends like this.
DO NOT EXPECT HIM TO CHANGE AFTER MARRIAGE.
2007-07-02 09:27:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is obvious that he has a serious spending problem, he needs to seek counseling to find the root of this problem and you need to consider if you can spend your life with someone who handles money so poorly.
2007-07-02 09:17:10 · answer #10 · answered by krissy p 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋