so i found out that i was pregant today by using a home pregnancy test. I still yet have to confirm with my doctor but the appointment is for next week.,I am sure i am as i took 2 different brand called clearblue digital and ept both come out +
Anyways i told my husband to be and he said what was on his mind. ( not ready no insurence crap like that ... selfishness bla bla bla) . I am on the other hand very scared. and i guess alittle selfish as well cos i know my body and everything else will change in a big way. That sucks. I am thinking of an abortion at this moment and i know that my bf would like me too get one as well... we dont even have health insurance.. What am i suppose to do if he does not even want it ....
i have no idea were to go from here. One min i think of keeping the baby and then the next not
please help me
2007-07-02 08:41:50 · 45 answers · asked by bcb 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
plus i am not legal where i am and i am not even sure how that works if you pregnant in a country that you not suppose to be in
2007-07-02 08:45:48 · update #1
Think about it carefully and talk to your doctor, because there are risks that come with abortion too. Make sure you are certain you are making the right choice before you do it. Think of how you would feel if you never got pregnant again, and how you would feel if you had the baby and regretted that decision. Then, choose the less of two evils.
2007-07-02 08:53:27 · answer #1 · answered by good golly! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The decision is a very hard one. But you two chose not to use protection and produced this pregnancy. Go to Planned parenthood for assistance (sliding fee scale) both in checking to see if you are truly pregnant and your choices, which do include terminating the pregnancy, giving the baby up for adoption at birth (great choice) and becoming a mother.
Insurance should not be the decision as to whether to proceed with the pregnancy. Though he may have proved the material/sperm for the pregnancy, you have the nine months to carry and should be the one to make the decision.
The big question is DO YOU want to have a baby??? If so, you need to stand your ground. He will either accept the baby when it is born or walk, and in the long run I bet he would walk for some other reason if he leaves now.
Most states have a special program for mothers and babies without insurance called Wellness. And if necessary there is always the county hospital or county health department programs.
Good luck. You have a hard decision
2007-07-02 09:00:12 · answer #2 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if you have insurance there is medicade. Since you are pregnant you will qualify and it takes care of all your medical need for your pregnancy & for 60 days afterwards. Also the baby will have insurance until he/she is 1 years old.
You are sounding selfish because there are ways to get by the road blocks. Its to late now you are pregnant. If you didn't want kids then you should have been on birth control. God gives you 9 months to prepare for the baby. You will be ready, emotionally, for the baby by the time he/she gets here. If I can make it as a single parent then I am sure yall can make it too!!
If you both truly feel as if you are not ready for the baby by the time the baby is born there is adoption. There are thousands of people that can't have children that would make great parents. You should consider your self very lucky that you were able to get pregnant.
Good luck. I hope you make the right decision for all of you.
2007-07-02 08:51:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I missed my period for 3 weeks.Those self urine testing might not be accurate because I did couple of those and it showed (-) on me. Believe or not. I even went to the doctor and had him do a urine test and a blood test and it came out (-). Guess what? After 1 or 2 weeks later, I went to see an OB, I was positive.Weird but happened. The point is just wait. Anyway, when my husband and I got marry we didn't want to have baby because we were scared and feel our lifestyle would change. 2 years later I talked about it again and he still didn't really want but I guess I talked him into. Yes I felt like I forced him. But now once I'm pregnant and seeing the baby on ultrasound, he is so excited. His attitude changed. He looked into baby shopping, talking having baby shower, bought baby Einstein CD, etc. I believe once your husband see how the baby form in your body he will have a change of heart and mind. It will represent a mini him. You don't want to wait until you are too old to have one. About insurance, don't even worry. You can go get medical through the government. It's not anything embarrassment. It's just temporary and it's the best insurance you can get to help your baby until later you guys find a job that provide it.
2007-07-02 09:15:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well first let me say Congratulations!..Having a abortion is a big decision that you have to make ,not him but you, because it will be something that you will have to live with for the rest of your life. Dont let anyone make you feel like its your fault or make you feel like you have to do it..I too am pregnant and am a mother of 3 beautiful girls. I had to tell my husband about the new baby and his worry was the money, like any other person would.But if you work together you will make it through, just like we are.I am now 3months along and we are doing well.Having a baby Its not easy nor is life but look at it this way, a baby is a blessing and if god is sending you one, then its probley for a good reason. You can do it with or without him but if he loves you, which he probley does then he will be there to support you. Believe me i think every man gets that feeling of how, why what are we gonna do? But eventually they get passed it. You have a baby that is in you ,growing more and more everyday so think about him before you think about your man. A baby is a blessing and a life that depends and grows from you!...good luck i wish you the best!..
2007-07-02 09:26:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are not legal..how are you going to get married here??
Besides the point, do not have an abortion. I am 21, full time student, full time job and preparing to become a full time single mom! I had no health insurance either but there our so many places that will help, all the doors do not shut just because you have no health insurance, you can get help with insurance just for your pregnancy and that's whats important.
Of course your body will change, I am 21 was 115 lbs before pregnancy, was living college life, traveling whenever and wherever I wanted....it was the best...now I am currently 6 months pregnant...gained 20 lbs but wouldn't change it for the world!
You may be scared that your soon to be husband will not want to become a father.....but this is a life you both created...if he doesn't want the baby...is this truly the type of man you want to marry?? My baby's father is missing out on so much....but again HE is the one missing out....I am going to do everything in my power to make sure my daughter is happy and gets what she deserves.
A baby is a blessing..although it may be a blessing in disguise.....please sit down and truly think about this decision...best of luck!
2007-07-02 08:58:17 · answer #6 · answered by oOoLaLaiTzSina 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It does sound kind of selfish. I am sorry that you are thinking of that as a choice. Do you want to be a mother? Think of that little baby that is yours that is growing inside of your body that you and your husband created! It is an awesome thing!
The insurance side of things you can always get help from your state, and look into public aid. There are always choices! If you don't think that your ready to be a mother you can think about it the 9 months and make a choice. I know people that would love to adopt a new born that some other couple could not have.
I really hope that you make the best decision, for you and your baby!
2007-07-02 09:59:29 · answer #7 · answered by Don't be taken for granted! 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There is most likely a Crisis Pregnancy Center near you. It should be listed in the phone book ( or online)
They can help you decide what is best for you.
I can't tell you what to do, I am not in your situation, but a Crisis Pregnancy Center can help you not only decide what you want to do but help with the things after wards ( find a Dr, help with counseling, get things you need if you do decide to keep the baby, etc )
There is also Planned Parenthood if you can't find a Crisis Pregnancy center.
BTW ~ it's OK to be scared! We all go through that even if we know that we want to have a baby. Alot of things do change (some for the better tho :-)
I hope that you will be able to find the help that you need and are able to make the right decision for you.
2007-07-02 08:52:35 · answer #8 · answered by momwv 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, i think there are plenty of options out there without considering abortion. Once you confirm with an ob/gyn that u r in fact preg, make an appointment with Job and Family services. They will give you a medicaid card to cover your preg expenses, and there is also WIC that helps buy food and such while preg, and formula for the baby after birth.
I strongly urge you not to abort. If you honestly can't handle a baby, you should be on birth control, but since it is too late this time, look into adoption, because if you find someone now, it can be in the contract that they pay for your medical expenses and delivery. There are a lot of childless couples that can't have children that would be happy to adopt your baby.
Abortion is murder. That child has a brain and heartbeat within 14 days of conception. And you will have to live with your decision the rest of your life. At least if you adopt, you will know that the baby is being raised by loving parents, and that child will know that you did not try and kill it. A rarely known fact. SOME BABIES SURVIVE ABORTION!
I reccommend reading "Gianna" by Jessica Shaver
I have met this remarkable young woman whose mother tried a saline abortion and she survived. Lots of children actually survive abortion, especially when done in later pregnancy.
I myself have had 2 premie babies and spent weeks wondering if they were going to survive. and i did everything right! I just had medical probs that wouldn;t let me carry to term. Every child deserves a chance at life!!!
FYI if you are pregnant, you could be deported to have your baby at home, but if you stay, your baby will have automatic citizenship after birth. Find out the correct way to get your citizenship NOW and legally, or marry your boyfriend so that you can't be sent home right away. Just go to a justice of the peace, and get your marriage license signed,
2007-07-02 08:55:22 · answer #9 · answered by Ms Always Right 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
There are people that will help you whether you are an illegal alien or legal citizen. You can get your body back to pre-pregnant shape even after having a baby, and if fear is your only reason then I can promise you that you will be infinitely grateful you HAD the baby when it is all said and done. I can't make this decision for you but I can say that you don't seem to have any hurdle that can not be overcome.
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-07-02 08:52:20 · answer #10 · answered by pip 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋