I was dating a guy who was married as well as me. We have both since filed for divorce. His spouse is still living with him.
My spouse is too. My spouse and I have 2 children. The other couple does not have any together. Although, the wife has a daughter from a previous relationship. I feel that he is pulling away from me. He keeps saying nothing has changed. He keeps asking me to be patient. I keep asking him to to be patient for what. I never seem to get a straight answer. He keeps telling me that he has a lot on his plate right now. His company is very slow now. I know he is really concerned with his finances. He also has to replace something very expensive at his home that is broke. He was not prepared for the expense.
I constantly feel like he is still sleeping with his wife. He says he is not. There have been a few opportunities that we could have gotten together and he always seems to be busy or doesnt answer his cell phone. what do you think?
2007-07-02 08:41:46 · 26 answers · asked by pnutt777 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Perhaps not over, but things have cooled
2007-07-02 08:45:56 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he may have been leading you on about leaving his wife, and now that you're getting a divorce, he's trying to get out of the relationship. If you feel that he's still sleeping with his wife, he probably is. Women are usually right about those types of things. Not always, but usually. It does sound like the things he's telling you are bad movie cliches'. I'd say that you may need to be prepared for the worst, sorry. I certainly hope this guy wasn't your sole reason for leaving your husband.
I don't agree with having affairs either, but what's done is done. So, best of luck to you, and I hope you do find true love and happiness.
:)
2007-07-02 15:53:46 · answer #2 · answered by JP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a healing process that each couple must go through. For the male or female, it is the pressure and realization that they are divorced and alone. I think the healing process can take up to 3 years with the following steps: 1) Remorse 2)Experciencing Freedom 3) Understanding desires in life.
Until he goes through that healing process, you're just a pest bothering him. Sounds like he's still in step #1. There is a lot of remorse, regret, reluctants, etc. It is hard for the both of them. So, they are sorting things out. Even yes, they do have sex on occasions b/c they get caught up on the way things use to be. But, realization will set in soon and they will soon know why they split in the first place.
For you now, you must learn to accept the healing process that he is going through, give him is space or leave it alone. If you make it past step #1, you surely not going to like him in step #2. He will become a whore and want to poke anything with a wet hole and moving.
2007-07-02 15:52:38 · answer #3 · answered by L J 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm thinking that u shouldn't have been so eager 2 cheat on ur husband. I 'm also thinking that he's had a change of heart and is probably trying 2 work it out w/ his wife. I'm thinking that he's not wanting the responsibility of u and 2 kids. If he has his own company-it's probably cheaper 2 keep the wife than have her take half of his business. Things u should've thought about b4 u jumped up and cheated on ur husband.
2007-07-02 15:46:46 · answer #4 · answered by Misty D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe in cheating under any circumstance. You should wait until you are divorced or at least living seperately after filing for divorce. It isn't right to put a third person in this position. 95% of relationships that begin in an affair end within 1 year. I suggest you get through your divorce, get your own place and THEN find a new love interest (one who isn't married).
2007-07-02 15:46:59 · answer #5 · answered by mamadana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess now you get to experience the agony and uncertainty that your spouse (and his) went through.
Why on earth do you feel you are entitled to happiness if you're going to partake in actions that devastate others? There is no justification for cheating, whether you were both lowly dirty dogs or not. If you're unhappy in your marriage, you owe it to your spouse/children/SELF to either work on it, or get out of that situation before creating more problems. Now you're left with the mess you made, and undoubtedly so are your kids.
Grow up and accept responsibility for your actions. I am amazed at how selfish people can be!!
2007-07-02 15:50:11 · answer #6 · answered by Courtney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And this is what you get for cheating on your husband with a married man..
you should be ashamed of yourself.. and if he's still sleeping with his wife?? so!! thats HIS WIFE!
You should make better decisions.. maybe you've learned from this!!
Its probably your bad Karma coming back around to you for not only tearing up your own family but another as well..
2007-07-02 15:46:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should be ashamed of your self! Although it takes 2 to tango how can you go on knowing that you are breaking up a family. the way i see it is if you dont want to be your husband any more than leave him, but dont cheat. Your hurting you kids maybe you might not think so or realize it but when they get older and cant have normal relationship i with the oposite sex think back to your situation now and know that it is because of you. I know, my dad cheated on my mom, now my little sister who just graduated high school thinks that everybody ends cheating on everybody so why bother...
2007-07-02 15:55:53 · answer #8 · answered by lisa_7702 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him behind. If you have filed for divorce because your husband committed adultery, then you should wait until your divorce is final and it's your wedding night with the next guy, before you have sex again. If your previous husband didn't commit adultery, who ever you marry or are with next you will be committing adultery and causing them to also.
You should leave the divorcee's behind and find a single guy with no baggage. That is if you did your divorce right. If not you shouldn't be with anyone else.
2007-07-02 15:49:34 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let him sort his problems out with his wife , if not youre always going to be the fault of their divorce . And maybe you should try and work it out with your husband (If he will still have you ) for your kids sake , afterall they didnt ask to be raised in a broken home , so you could at least try one more time !!! Good Luck
2007-07-02 15:45:46 · answer #10 · answered by sweet_manzana_verde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice situation. Well he probably is cheating on you with his wife... wow how weird is that to say? Is that really cheating?
Anyhow, give him the time and space he is asking for. If you 2 were meant to be then it will all happen. Be patient and understanding.
2007-07-02 15:47:33 · answer #11 · answered by sshazzam 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋