I am interested in swinging but wife is hesitant. How do I persuade her to join me?

Answer 1

Listen, swinging isn't a bad thing like many people will tell you if both you and your partner are open, not jealous, and interested in doing it. If you are not, that could be the end of your relationship. Don't push anyone or make any hasty decisions. But sometimes swingers are in some of the best relationships. Just make sure you think about what you are doing. Let her make her decision in time, that is the only way to do it.

Answer 2

Actually, you don't. If the idea doesn't appeal to her in the first place, you're likely wasting your time trying to find reasons to convince her.

Ideally, it should be a mutual decision with no "arm twisting." Otherwise, when things go wrong (and believe me, the odds are high that something will go wrong), YOU'RE going to get the blame for it. Trust me on that one.

We had a period of experimentation in our relationship, and it was a mutual decision. And, for the most part, things went rather well, but there were some rather tedious moments.

Bottom line: the odds are against you having a wonderful, exciting experience. People misrepresent themselves totally. You'll likely run into people with emotional and marital problems. You run the risk of contracting an STD.

Of course, odds alone never stopped people from gambling ~ just look at Vegas.

But I'm telling you, if it doesn't appeal to your wife, don't push the issue. You'll regret it.

Answer 3

You don't persuade her. You first have to figure out why you're interested in it in the first place: is it a way to escape the life you've come to loathe? Or is it akin to flipping through the brochure from that resort on Tahiti, wishing you could both go there because you love how your wife looks in the setting sun on the beach, wearing a big smile and a little bikini? What does it mean to you?

Once you've got this sorted out, before you bring it up to her, PLEASE visit this site and ask the same question there under the New Swingers forum. You'll find invaluable advice. But be warned: they have a way of sniffing out selfishness and it's not pretty. If your motives are honourable and your intentions are good, you'll find the people there very friendly and sensible. They just don't take kindly to jerks (male or female) who think it's okay to disrespect their spouses.

Good luck to you both!

Answer 4

I hope you appreciate a real answer to your question. First off, it is NOT cheating as both you and your wife will have to agree to anything you do. It is only cheating when done in secret from your partner.

My suggestion, which worked for me BTW, is to take a vacation to Hedonism in Jamacia. There you can be a prude as you want or as crazy as you want, it is up you and your wife. It is NOT a huge orgy as some people make it out to be. You can be dressed the whole time or be naked the whole time. You can be just with each other or take a new couple to bed every night.

They key is honesty, trust and RULES. Establish ground rules before the trip. Sex and love are different things, and once people learn to accept that, life would be so much more fun.

Answer 5

How long have you been married? Did you talk to your wife about such a thing before you married? She may never be ready for swinging! Do you love her enough to stay with her if she doesn't? If not you should consider that now instead of hurting yourselves worse in the long run. There are other ways to spice up your sex life than to swing, look into other options. You should love the idea that your wife doesn't want to be with any other man than you!

Answer 6

You don't persuade her. You ask her if she is open to it. If she is not, then that is it. No pressure on her to change her mind. If she is interested but reluctant, suggest some soft swing to see how she reacts. This would be having sex in the same room as other people, but no with other partners.

If she is cool with that, then maybe you guys go to a Jack and Jill party or a swingers club.

Good luck and send pictures!

Answer 7

Is she really hesitant or does she flatly reject the idea?
Hesitant suggests that she's waffling between yes and no.

All you can do is sit down and talk to her about it.
If she doesn't feel that swinging is something she'd like to do, you better find out if she minds that you're out "sharing the love".

If you're doing it behind her back it's not swinging as it is adultery and a good way to lose 1/2 of everything that you now own.

Answer 8

Maybe she sees it for what it is... "I am interested in cheating and am ok with you doing the same." Not really what any woman wants to hear.

Let it be. I am a marriage counselor and have seen swinging and threesomes gone wrong absolutely destroy a marriage. It never works unless both parties are absolutely willing and excited for it, and even then it usually goes afoul. Some things are best left as fantasies.

Answer 9

Do not push your wife on the issue. Why even be married if your interested in swinging. Its not all that great, and usually breaks up a good marriage.

Answer 10

This is very interesting, i have been into swinging for years, and the most important thing it to let her know your feelings. www.darkcavern.com/forum go there and u'll get some briliant ideas, then it wud be up to her is she wants to try it or if not.. but respect her feelings as well. she mite not wanted to share it with no one else. But hey i can tell you there confession does be very interesting at lease i can say from experience. But becareful she mite get hooked to it n in turn wud ask to be alone with someone in a motel for a weekend be prepared if u realy want this. Coz i know how it is. Enjoy!