my husband and i decided for us not to have opposite sex friends to avoid drama. what do you think?
2007-07-02 06:26:24 · 26 answers · asked by M n M 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he trusts me but i have a hard time trusting him. i'm not insecure. he's just really charming and some people can't see the difference between him just being nice and flirting. i think being friends with other couples are ok.
2007-07-02 06:51:45 · update #1
I think it's a great idea.
I'm sure a lot of people will say that it's no problem to have opposite sex friends, but my perspective is why tempt yourself unnecessarily. Particularly since both of you are in agreement.
Of course, I make a distinction between friends and acquaintances. Naturally it's silly to assume you won't have acquaintances and colleagues of the opposite sex, but "friends" implies to me a more intimate relationship, in which you would discuss personal matters and spend time alone together.
I think this is a very wise decision. Allowing anyone of the opposite sex into a relationship of confidence has the possibility of undermining your marriage relationship.
2007-07-02 06:31:13 · answer #1 · answered by Kris B 5 · 2⤊ 5⤋
Personally I don't favor the idea. My husband and I both have friends of the opposite sex and since we've been married and prior we have had little to no problem with that. To be honest I've had more problems out of my same sex friends than my guy friends. My husband has met all my guy friends and when able he will hang out with them when I do or even seperately.
It all boils down to what you perfer and what the relationship can handel. If the two of you are uncomfortable with having friends of the opposite sex then don't do it (altho I think later down the line it will come back up in a negative manner). Or if the two of you trust the other enough and feel like it would cause no harm then have all the friends you want no matter the sex.
It's a matter of opinion and thought of the two in the relationship. If you are happy with the decision the two of you made then be done with it. If not you may want to bring it up now before any resentment builds up for him "not allowing" you to have the friends you so choose.
2007-07-02 06:46:35 · answer #2 · answered by Kim B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually guys are only platonic friends with a woman if they are gay or straight but the woman didn't want them. Most men are attracted to their platonic female friend and only don't go further because that isn't what the woman wants. Also it depends how comfortable your husband is with any platonic friends you have. The best thing to do is see these male friends in a group so you aren't alone with them ever. Or have them hang out with you and your husband (double date). The risk of hanging out with opposite sex friends is that someone may cross the line at some point.
2016-04-01 03:47:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that is the solution to avoid "drama" each one needs to have trust in each other, there is a line that you know you can not cross when having friends. And if those so called friends cross it, they are not friends and let it go, you and your husbandd are the ones that matter in these relationship.
my husban has a friend, I know her I know her family and I trust him and her, we go out, we have BBQ together our children play together They are not interested in having a relationship between them and I also have male friends my husband know about them, he trust me enough to know that I will not mess around and we have no drama because of these, so it is possible to have friends of the opposite sex, but only with trust and love in the relationship.
take care and be honest!
2007-07-02 06:42:33 · answer #4 · answered by ¸.•*♥P!cαŘα §☼Ňαd☼Řα♥*•.D®eαMe® 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all due respect to the both of you, that is the most stupid thing I have ever heard of. You're not doing it to avoid drama, it's because there's a blatant lack of trust in your relationship that neither of you wants to acknowledge. If you really wanted to do the right thing for your marriage, you wouldn't place stupid childish rules on each other. In addition to this, you can't possibly regulate the friends you will make after marriage. If you meet a nice man who you get on well with, what are you going to tell him? 'Sorry, I can't be your friend, my husband won't let me'. How pathetic. Putting dumb rules on the relationship is what will mess it up, not any friends you might have. I really hope the two of you are able to see sense and understand the right thing to do.
2007-07-02 06:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by alex2410 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I am not married but i have been with the same guy for 3 years and we both have oppesite sexed friends I think its all about trusting the person you are with and I feel a friend is a friend and it has nothing to do with their sex. I wouldnt stop being friends with someone just because of their sex. do what makes you happy and your man should understand that.
2007-07-02 06:32:29 · answer #6 · answered by Meradith 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well I guess it will work out, but I think there are two types of people in the world male and female and you should be able to have them both as friends, and also thats basically saying he doesnt trust you, but my husband is the same way, only ours doesnt go both ways I cant have guy friends, but he can have girl friends, not fair, so I guess your decision will work out, better then my situation anyway.
2007-07-02 06:39:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it shows a lack of trust in your relationship. My fiancee has many female friends but I know he is faithfull to me because we are honest and open with each other. He went to a strip club and immediately came home and told me about it, plus his ex found him at a local bar and tried to get him back but again he came and told me about it immediately after telling her that he was happy now and not interested. I tell him about a guy I work with who is always hitting on me and he knows that I am not even tempted.
I was the victim of an overly jealous husband who assumed anytime I was around a man i would just jump into bed with him and it ruined my marriage.
Trust your spouse and trust yourself.
2007-07-02 06:36:40 · answer #8 · answered by lilycat1173fwin 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I don't think that's a good idea at all...
If you guys trust each other then there's nothing wrong with having opposite sex friends, this isn't 2nd grade.
2007-07-02 06:32:15 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah_Ashley 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you both trust one another, which you should, then having opposite sex friends shouldn't cause any drama or reasons for concern
2007-07-02 06:29:18 · answer #10 · answered by Nicole H 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋