Well i have been dating my bf for 4 year's.And I really love him,but we have our difference's.He is like a computer geek.He use to be in a boy racer team.And he does nearly everything.I almost everytime get mad at thing's he does like make's alot of bill's and debt's for himself.I want to be there for him.But talking to him about problem's alway's turn's into argument's and domestic's.i have a anger problem sometime's when i can just shout and yell at him.And he just sits there thinking like he's alway's right and I'm the offender/abuser.ANd im wrong.Or maybe i am just crazy!!..........
I want to change.Because i love him and i know that asking men would be a good solution..
Do i sound like a jealous person??
2007-07-02 06:02:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its not about jealousy, its about control.
Are you saying that you want him to limit and control his expenses? Like, to live on a budget? Is he spending himself into debt? Have you suggested a budget?
Have the two of you agreed on basic parameters? I mean, if you think he has a problem with spending, does he agree that he has a problem with spending. Does he agree that at this point in the relationship you have earned the right to try to control his spending?
If you have an anger problem, that can make it difficult for him to discuss serious issues with you. Does he talk about them or does he just wait for you to get angry and then ignore you?
2007-07-02 06:10:42 · answer #1 · answered by hottotrot1_usa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont necessarily sound jealous, wanting him to take better care of his finances is the correct thing to do, yelling at him about it isnt going to get you very far though. He should want to be responsible as a man but you cant make him. What are you willing to do about your anger? Is a neutral mediator a solution, maybe so if you two cant talk w/out arguing. Have him write down his goals and desires for your relationship and you do the same, go over them and figure out what you both want, common goals. I hope it works out for you .
2007-07-02 06:15:25 · answer #2 · answered by Mike 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are far from being jealous. Nothing you do makes you a jealous person. You are just overly concerned with him. I mean unfortunatly he is going to run his life the way he runs his life and as hard as you can try you still cant change him. You should just offer him suggestions in a calm cool tempered manner. He can take them or he can choose to not take them. You are not wrong you are just trying to be there for him. Men a lot of time dont want help when things like that because they dont want to seem weak when really they need help. It is all about your approach. Just approach it in a nice way and offer your assistance dont accuse and criticize or be angry.
2007-07-02 06:08:44 · answer #3 · answered by discovermemandoggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah your bf is immature and not ready to be in a relationship. If he's racking up debt and bills and values his activities over you then he needs to find someone who likes doing the samething (bill's and debts). You will always have this problem since he is always right (he will always think this way). You women just fail to see this is what you will get if you got married. You are trying to change him but you will fail. Accept your failed attempt at changing him and enjoy the relationship that will never change. Goodluck with that.
2007-07-02 06:10:28 · answer #4 · answered by Shinigami 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should really try to sit down and talk to him, no matter if you have to argue or not... Me , I am a lesbian and me and my girlfriend have our differences and some things will lead intto an argument if we start talking about it.. But we know that we love eachother with all of our hearts and nothuing will ever stop that.. If you beleive that then you can do anything.. Just tell him that you two really need to talk things over.. Im sure everything will be okay..
Good luck,
sorry im not a guy!
2007-07-02 06:08:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-07 23:05:37 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you both have a temper problem. I would NOT get married. Neither of you are ready. A good book to check out is called "Boundaries" and "Boundaries in Dating" by Drs. Henry Cloud / John Townsend.
2007-07-02 06:07:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I think that he has to be willing to compromise, and listen to you as well. In a relationship you two have to be on the same page and although you won't agree on everything, he should understand where you are coming from and try to realize that you care about him and are pointing certain things out because you are worried about him.
2007-07-02 06:09:21 · answer #8 · answered by The Great One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you say he has alot of debts?? Red flag!! Dont ever get into or be in a relationship swith someone who has alot of debts or dont know how to manage their finances. They might bring your credit down as well.
2007-07-02 06:26:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing you said sounds like jealousy...but it was kinda hard to follow.
To change, just DON'T do the bad stuff. It's easy, just don't do it.
2007-07-02 06:06:22 · answer #10 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋