I don't mind helping out every now and then - but he expects me to do "things" that a wife would do and well, we are not even engaged! I am starting to feel like a employee instead of a girlfriend. We may go away for a weekend, but it is to work on one of his vacation homes. I think he thinks I have nothing else to do. I have three children of my own and I am starting to see some big red flags. Am i just being parinoid? Help
2007-07-02 04:07:53 · 29 answers · asked by Ash T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not living with him. I am finacially secure.
2007-07-02 04:37:31 · update #1
tell him how you feel.
2007-07-02 04:10:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Ash well you said that you are divorced, but you are playing house with this man, by that I mean you are acting like a wife when you are NOT. With three children they need all of your attention especially since you have divorced their father, seeing another man right now may not be a good idea, it also sends mixed messages especially if you and this man are not going to be married. At this point this man can go and do whatever he wants, you have the responsibility of being a mom 24/7, so you really don't have time to be playing house with this man at all, I was a single mom for many years, I didn't have time to date, because my whole time was spent raising my children, I don't think you are being paranoid, I think he is just taking advantage of you and you my dear deserve so much better than this and so do your children. Good Luck and know that you don't need him to make it :)
2007-07-02 11:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by pookster4262 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I feel you are being 'used'. Helping someone on occasins is fine but providing them a list of 'things' to do' is unacceptable.
Decline going with him a couple times and see how he reacts. He just might think that he is doing you a favor when he invites you to accompany him on is 'work weekends'.
Put a little space in the relationship, see him less often. Perhaps he will begin to see your side and grow up a little.
Good Luck and watch for more RED FLAGS.
2007-07-02 11:44:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are lucky that you are just dating him.
That is what dating is fore.
You should date someone for at least a year, to see if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
If not. Move on.
If I had three kids to raise, I would ask my parents to let me move back home until I have the money to be on my own to raise the kids.
Right now, do you really think you need a man in your life?
2007-07-02 11:25:16 · answer #4 · answered by ronkpaws 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are correct. You are not his wife and with three children at home you have a full time job already. Just because you don't get paid you are doing the hardest job in the world!!! Even if you were married to this man i would tell him to take his list and shove it, These things got done before he was dating you and he can do them himself. It is one thing to want to help out it is another to have to do a list of things for him. You are seeing red flgs for a reason. Talk to him about it, but follow your gut instincts
2007-07-02 11:14:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you are not paranoid at all, you are what I call a good person that is being taken advantage of. You do not need him, he needs you but I am not sure as a lover. I would take the next list and leave it on the table and go to the movies and when he questions you, tell him you left the list for him or his maid to ake care of. He will surely get the picture or the boot, I hope
2007-07-02 11:12:42 · answer #6 · answered by Frank L 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No. Looks like he just wants free labor. I would write up a contract, stating how much it will cost him for you to do these things. Consider this a way to make extra money. If he balks at the idea, then you have hit the nail on the head! SOunds like this guy has money and would also be a real cheapskate.
DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!!
2007-07-02 11:13:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope, you are not being paranoid. He will keep on using you to do what he wants, and then toss you to the side when he is done. As long as he can get you to do what a wife will do without putting papers on you, he will never marry you. I think you need to start telling him no.
2007-07-02 11:15:17 · answer #8 · answered by cinnatigg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For one- are you living with him? If you are, then you put yourself in the position to get treated like a wife. Get out on your own with your kids. You have to make sure they are happy and healthy before some guy! Be strong and tell him what you want from life. If he doesn't want the same- then move on.
2007-07-02 11:19:18 · answer #9 · answered by pretty_mommy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your boyfriend has "vacation homes" if he gives you a list of things to do, you should do them and do them well...make yourself out to be the woman of his dreams, the woman he wants to marry...after your married leave him and get half of his stuff (including the vacation homes)
No really, you are his employee..he does think you have nothing else to do, yes your being paranoid.
2007-07-02 11:17:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's supporting you then yes he can ask you to do things. Do you think you should get a free ride?
You say you are a stay at home mom...
That's where we are confused, are you living under one of his roofs, or not?
2007-07-02 11:33:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋