I am 26yrs and I fear sex, all goes well, but when it comes to penetration i get stiff.pls help...any tips?

Question

i dont understand what blocks me,,my husband is understading..but i get wild,, pls help.. do i need a doctor..pls note i am a virgin...help me with all the tips you have... i fear the pain.. it gives for the 1st time

Answer 1

go Slow after lots of foreplay! lube = your friend!

Answer 2

I think that you already have a good start on trying to resolve things, since you say that everything goes well before you really start anything. Now, I'm sure you're more than smart enough to try simple things, but i would suggest trying easy things like looking into your husband's eyes and/or trying to stay relaxed before you get into the act. Overall, i would think that you may find it a little easier if you are unexpecting when it happens. However, if it's pain that is posing your problem, i would suggest (again, simple) things such as a lubricant and taking things slow. If you are sure that you fear sex itself (dont worry too much by the way, i was almost sure i was only a little over a year ago), then you may want to look into finding someone who can provide more expert help for you and your husband. Hope you can find what you're looking for!

Answer 3

Sex is the ultimate purpose of love, it results in the offspring that will make the next generation. HOWEVER there is no reason you need to aim for having penetrating sex at this stage of the relationship. You both love each other and you obviously have a mental barrier which appears to you to be greater than that love, which you need to overcome before sex with penetration can be a mutual thing for the both of you. The physical pain from first penetration is nothing, if you are engaged in the proper foreplay and have give each other the trust of your bodies then you will be swept through the brief moment of discomfort like a leaf before the wind. What you need to do is agree that the goal of your next few intimate encounters is to learn each other bodies and do everything except penetration. If you can have no fear that he wants or expects it then you can be more relaxed and experience your own suppressed desire to be united fully with him, to have him inside you. Only if you have no fear that penetration must be faced in the encounter can you develop the knowledge and trust you will one day rely on to overcome the barrier. In the mean time there are so many wonderful things you can do to be intimate and you can reward your husband for his patience with many perks that most married men could only dream of, you can watch videos together, you can learn about fellatio and hand jobs and massage and body-slides and so many fun intimate activities people leave out of their love lives because penetration is so easy and satisfying. Work hard on building trust and affection and one day penetration will be a minor footnote.
If you can not reach this level of trust with your husband there is another method called desensitization but it is painful and much less likely to give the two of you satisfaction. Much more likely it will leave you able to surrender to your husbands need for penetration while robbing you of much of the trust and love that are by-products of successful sexual union.
One other thing may help to speed things up in the loosening up activities and that is discovering the source of the original hang-up. Often this can be related back to unrealistic expectations about sex imposed by religious doctrine or peer group pressure or even sexual abuse in early childhood. A doctor specializing in sexual problems and psychoses should be consulted, often this can help find the underlying causes, but since sex is very private for me and since seeing a doctor about something like this may have the effect of making the problem into more than it really is I would advocate the do it yourself with love method outlined first, good luck, there is no problem so large it can not be made small with daily effort.

Answer 4

Everyone on here is right, do lots of foreplay to get you excited and non-resistant. However, too much foreplay can be bad thing. Eventually the vagina will tighten and making it worse for your first time. It doesnt really hurt, it feels more like a pressure builup and once he is completely in, have him go extremely slow. I was nervous on my first time and I decided to get on top of him. I was able to control every thing and the moment I felt it hurt the slightess, I was able to back off. Just take your time and remember to relax. And you have a good husband if he is understanding and willing to wait until you are comfortable with the activity. After the first couple times, you'll look back and laugh over how silly it was to be afraid, trust me, I did.
Good Luck

Answer 5

i no i'm really late but i think i can help...
I'm new to this whole sex thing too.....
and i was really scared, and it really helps to have a lover who understands ur fear.

1st- give it a try. if it hurts u to bad u can always stop. it's never to late to stop.

2nd- the pain is not bad. i'm terrified of pain. I cry when i have to get a shot at the docters. and it only hurt for like 2 secs. I'll tell you there is a pain that last later but it's not the same. it's more like being sore after working out.

3rd- ur so lucky to have a husband thats sticks with u like that!

hope this helps!

Answer 6

I think that would be a plus. (I am sorry - I first misunderstood that you are a woman)

You need to be able to relax and play with your husband. If you enjoy kissing him, and let him touch you gently, and like his touch, in time you will become aroused, and you will lubricate so that the friction of entry will no longer cause you pain. It is difficult the first few times when you have not had much experience. But with a warm, loving and sensual relationship things will only get better and better in time.

Answer 7

Talk to your doctor. Sometimes it does hurt the first time (just a little) but after that its a lot better. If you are properly stimulated then it actually goes pretty quickly. Using lots of lube, have him try inserting 1 finger and after a bit try two and then you should be ready for him. Relax and enjoy. Kudos to him for not forcing you and being so patient. You have definitely got yourself a keeper.

Answer 8

The pain of first intercourse is rarely bad, and some women don't have any at all. My first suggestion at your age would be a doctor, since this is obviously a long-standing problem. Otherwise, you might try having your husband use a dildo on you that is smaller than his penis, to get you used to the feeling. You may decide you like it after all!

Answer 9

Oh sweetie it is ok
Make sure you are really ready to do this, and i am talking physically.
It is not unusual to experience jitters and even anxiety. Make sure you have plenty of lubrication on hand and be adventurous.
Yes, it may hurt, It is also a very pleasurable experience.
Many women have lived through it!
Sharing special moments with someone you love is indeed a wonderful experience and you will have many!

Answer 10

I think you need to just calm down. Remember that almost all women go through the pain, it's completely natural, and basically everything will be fine. Don't push yourself too much, but keep trying and remember that having sex is basically safe and normally is not overwhelmingly painful.