A male friend of mine really likes me, but I don't fancy him. I don't want to hurt him, or damage the friendship, but I can't have him believing he has a chance to take things further when that isn't going to happen.
Help! I don't want to be a ***** over this, what should I do?
Cheers guys!
2007-07-02 00:31:57 · 19 answers · asked by slowfade 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You have to tell him as soon as possible so you don't lose him as a friend.
Tell him the truth, that you really like him as a friend, and you don't want to ruin your friendship, but he has to know the truth. You wish you could like him romantically, but you just don't like him like that.
Let him know that you will understand if he isn't able to be around you now, but when he's ok with the situation, you want him back as a friend. Be as supportive of his feelings as you can. It's a hard thing to hear but, he probably already knows and just doesn't want to acknowledge it.
You may lose your friend, but, not telling him may turn him into an enemy.
Good luck, you are being a true friend. peace.
2007-07-02 00:48:32 · answer #1 · answered by imgram 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a really difficult one, but the only real answer is to be honest with him. Explain to him how much you value him as a friend but that it will never be anything more, and that you are telling him this precisely because you value and respect his friendship so much.
Unfortunately, the one thing I can't tell you is what his reaction will be. When I was in the situation the friend concerned then decided it was best for him to no longer be close to me, and this upset me a great deal at the time. He's since found a partner and now we have a friendship again, but sadly not as close as it once was. Eeverybody reacts differently though, but you'll never forgive yourself if you don't tackle this either way.
Best of luck, I'd like to think that if he was a good enough mate he'd respect your decision with little or no damage to your relationship.
2007-07-02 07:38:33 · answer #2 · answered by h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No such thing as "letting down gently". Just tell him he deserves someone who can love him the way he wants and makes him truly happy and you're sorry but you don't feel that kind of way towards him. Also tell he's gonna make somelady very happy. But tell him you hope your decision wont hurt your friendship as it means a lot ok. Good luck and lol. PS. Of course if you dont want to say it face to face you could write him a letter. x x
2007-07-02 07:45:36 · answer #3 · answered by †100% Angel† 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You Need To Sit Down And Have A Good Chat With Him
And Explain That You Don't Have The Same Feeling For Him As He Dose For You
And Say If You Did Go Out And Then Finished It Then Your Friendship Will Go Down Hill!!
2007-07-02 07:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just sit down with him and say that you guys r 2 good of friends and that you dont want a relationship with him 2 ruin that!! He'll be hurt yes but he cant hate you, and if he sees how much you value your friendship then he should understand.
2007-07-02 12:51:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is say look i am really sorry but its such bad timing.....bad timing for whatever reason you choose...
your busy with work/school or you have just started talking to this guy and you might date him
then best thing is really school or work option....then say you really hope you can stay freinds coz you like him so much as a friend....and can see what happens in the future (of course you have no inttention of changing your mind) but you need to give him the hope that you may change your mind at a later date so he does not keep bugging you and thinks just let it go for a while. and to tell you the truth he will hold on to this hope for something later but that in time will fade away, and he will shift his interests to something or someone else...
2007-07-02 07:37:58 · answer #6 · answered by Sally J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth. Get him to have a talk with you and just tell him, sooner rather than later. No matter what you'll do, he will still hurt, but tell him now before his hopes for a you n him rise even higher, then he'll be even more heart broken!
2007-07-02 07:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by BeeJay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All ways be polite. Speak from the heart. Ask him how he feels and then tell him how it makes you feel. Try to find a middle ground. Ask him what he think is a solution and if that doesnt suit you... negotiate! Use statements like "how about we..." or " What if...." Make him feel like he has opptions and some power over whats going on.
2007-07-02 07:38:06 · answer #8 · answered by placid_princess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is foolish enough to approach u and request love
It is better to be frank and tell him to get lost
The gentle way to do it is tell the truth, u have not slapped him or shouted at him, there is no need to mince your words, as he needs a rough fall to realize the truth
2007-07-02 07:36:47 · answer #9 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't judge first yourself, just take a closer of the real you how you really feel when you will be together... then that's the time u will decide and tell him the truth.
2007-07-02 07:37:24 · answer #10 · answered by Dawnz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋