stay or separate?

Question

We are pregnant with #2, only 5 weeks left until the baby is here. We have a house that is being renovated and could be done a little faster than I believe...My husband keeps saying he goes to work on the house but he steers toward his buddies house all day. In the evening, I usually find myself over there to help him, but he's not at the house. Lately, all he's been thinking about is fulfilling his musical dream before the baby is here. He's coming home with new musical equipment while we have absolutely nothing for the baby. He spends his time home from work in his music studio until 2am. And gets angry when our daughter wants him to play with her. He never answer's my phone calls cuz "he left it in the car" And he complains that we wont have money to survive with a new baby. I've talked to him, but he gets angry and tells me to get a job then..I dont want to live in my dad's house forever...what do i do?

I fully understand the responsibilities of raising children, and I love my kids...i wish he was on the same level as me...its like he doesnt want to be a dad at all. How can I make him understand? His friends are all single and always calling him and when I say Stay Home..I'm the nagging wife, and he takes off. Will he ever grow up!!!??

Answer 1

what an idiot... every musician wants (or at least has a dream) of making it big, but there are line to be crossed for sure, especially when you have a family... musical equptment is expensive and studio time is outragously expensive... he needs to get his priorities strait, and maybe not lose the dream, but at least put it on a back burner for a while... what is he like 18? the reason people call it a "dead end dream" is because you may have all of the ablility in the world, and never get signed on a lable... thats not what the industry is about anymore.... I would say drop him if he doesn't change, thats for sure, especially if he is neglecting his daughter now, he will never change!!

BTW, there is a way to get that money he should be spending on your baby, it's called child support... thats not being a b**ch, thats being real... good luck!!

Answer 2

Wow, what a selfish a** he is. You have a very hard road ahead. You can move out and get on welfare, at least you will have the money to buy the baby stuff you need and you won't be with that very selfish man anymore. You can't divorce him, unless you catch him in adultery, but that doesn't mean you can't move out on your own. Get a legal separation. Totally ignore him, cut him out of your life. Don't call him, don't tell him where you are moving. He will be amazed that you are not the clingy insecure little wife anymore and he will become the insecure one. Do your best to totally ignore him. Move yourself out while he is supposedly renovating the house. Who is to say he is not renovating another woman?
Because if you stay with him, he will know you are his doormat and he will keep wiping his feet on you and standing on your head. Be brave make a move now, don't spend the next several years at the hands of this selfish pr**k.

Answer 3

You need to have a long talk with this guy. It looks that he is not ready for the babies, you guys are having now and that's not fair for the kids who never sent any letters of application to you. The both of you need to understand the seriousness of having kids and raising them properly. This is not a matter of stay or separate.

Answer 4

i think he is going through a mid life crisis, and i would make damn sure he isnt doing anything he should be doing. and he needs to grow up and take care of his responisbilities and grow some balls and become a man

Answer 5

ask someone he honored try advice him