I have a ex husband who calls when he has problem?

Question

My exhusband and i have been separated for 2 years, divorce for one year. He left me for a woman he only know a week. we were having problems. anyway two years later he continue to call me everytime he has a problem rather it be with a current gf or ex gf. he has had 6 to 8 gf in the 2 years I am worried about our son who is six years because we had joint custody and it 50/50 my ex is very involved with our son, i am lucky there. but what i worried about is that my ex is dating a married cowork and his ex gf is pregnant that was a week ago now he back with is pregnant gf who he has 1/4 chance being the father, and she moving back in How do i help my son grow up to think that is not normal? I do try to remain friend with ex or at least be polite, but sometimes he make it hard especailly becuase he has been known to interfere with my relationship with my boyfriend of almost 1yr by calling me to tell me about his problems I could really just use some advice

Answer 1

Oh boy .... you guys are both setting a very bad example for your son. I'm not trying to be mean , I'm a single mom too and it isn't easy but kids live what they learn. Your son is going to have a very difficult time understanding what a normal , healthy relationship should look and feel like. It's very possible that he may never know because of what he's known from the two prime examples in his life. Unfortunately, you can't dictate to your ex how he should live his life but since you have a reasonable relationship you could try to talk to him about it.For this reason alone it would be best to try and keep the lines of communication open , even if it means listening to his troubles. His troubles effect the well being of your child . If I were you, I'd want to know what they are.At least you'd have a fighting chance to counter balance them.
On the mom side of that, from one mom to another I can tell you that the most important thing you can do in raising your son is to earn and keep his respect for you. By doing that he will be more willing to listen and understand that you care about his life. If you lose his respect , you lose control and that's the worst possible thing that can happen for both you and your son...... Just something to think about. Good luck : )

Answer 2

My ex husband is my best friend. We have been divorced for 7 years, and we are both remarried. We are much better friend than we ever were as a married couple. We have 2 children together. We always call each other with problems, even problems with our marriages. Our spouses know that we are very good friends and they don't have a problem with it. I know it sounds weird but that is how our relationship works. We would NEVER get back together we are just friends. It works for us, but not every divorced couple can get to this place, some shouldn't even try.

I probably did not help you much with my answer I just wanted you to see that divorced couples sometimes make the best of friends.

Answer 3

Tell him the only convo between you & him is when it is pertaining to your son. Tell him that you are not his best friend, you are the mother of his son. Tell him that you have moved on past him & he needs to do the same & that he may want to consider calling a therapist. You might want to consider talking to an attorney about getting full custody before your son gets too old. Little boys tend to think dad is cool because he has so many women. Good luck.

Answer 4

Hopefully, you aren't living with your boyfriend. If you are you are not doing your son any favors, either. He sees you and his dad in relationships that may not last; too many people in and out of his life. Poor kid!! I would go back to court and seek different visitation rights for your son with his father. Like only at your house with you present and none of his girlfriends. If you want to raise your son right, don't live with anyone until you are married!! Better yet, don't even date anyone until your son is raised. Concentrate on him alone, he deserves the best you have and you are obligated to raise a good man!

Answer 5

You need to tell him that he doesn't need to call you when he has problems and that you just want to keep the relationship about yor child You shouldn't let this man interfere with your relationships, that is your job. Also, your son is too young to be concerned witht those women, just make sure the father/ son relationship is good. When he gets old enough to understand male/female relationships then, tell him how thiings Should be.

Answer 6

I've never been divorced, but perhaps as long as you take his phone calls (that don't relate to your little one) it may not allow you to move on fully with your life and will affect your future relationships. If you are sucked into his life drama or visa versa then you aren't being fair to yourself. I'm sure its extremely hard to get out of all that. Perhaps you could seek counseling or someone who is neutral to help you get beyond yesterday. Being polite isn't going to work with some men. You need to be direct and self assertive. You have the right to be happy in your new relationships/life.

Answer 7

Let your answering machine screen your calls. Don't be so available. You are no longer married to him. His problems are not yours, so stop making yourself available whenever he needs a shoulder to cry on, advice, or money or help. Yes, your son of course can see him but there is no reason for you to be involved or be "friends." He sounds very irresponsible. Kids aren't stupid. They know when a dad doesn't keep his word, and time will catch up to your husband and his irresponsible ways.

Answer 8

the only problem he truly has is himself for being more of a jerk and doing what has done and has no other way to fix
in no way should you let hime bother you so as to make you feel guilty in helping him, avoid him if at any cost or your mostly never have any rest he'll, only keep coming back whenever he screws up. take charge of what you want to do and go on and i hope and feel there is a person out there who will truly want to be with you

Answer 9

He's your X, not your husband, brother, son, or confidant.
As for your son, he shouldnt be involving him in his relationships. That is definitely NOT moral parenting. Have you heard the saying: "Do as I SAY, not as I do" Well it doesnt work. Children learn good things by good example.

Answer 10

it good that you and your ex are on good terms, but he your
ex for a reason.and you need to let him know that, time to
cut all the ties with him regarding his personal life,, because
it will be come a problem down the road for you and your
son. keep things simple.