My girlfriend wants to get married at the beginning of next year, but I want to wait until the fall so that I can have enough money saved up because right now I really don't have much saved($20,000). I love this girl with all of my heart, so should I keep her waiting or marry her when she wants?
2007-06-30 17:33:19 · 22 answers · asked by gododjgjodjod 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just be honest with her. Tell her if you get married in the spring, you won't be able to afford a very elaborate wedding/reception/ring/etc. Maybe she will surprise you and you will find out her parent's are planning to foot the bill...or perhaps you will find out she has a significant savings of her own! Or, perhaps she will decide you are right and you should wait until the fall :)
2007-06-30 17:39:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let money stand in the way of true love. If you wait too long you might lose her. What's enough money to you? You may never have enough money. Something could come up between now and the time you want to get married that takes all your money, then what? I say have a modest ceremony and reception, take a decent honeymoon and save together after you're married. Wait to have kids for a few years until you have some money in the bank. Talk about all of this before you get married, agree on a plan of action and then go for it. Weddings don't have to be expensive. This will be your first big discussion and compromise in your life together, how exciting for you both. Just be sure you are both happy with the agreement and go forward. Always try to communicate openly, honestly and respectfully with each other and you'll have a wonderful life together. Much happiness!!
2007-06-30 17:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is at least one issue here besides setting a date and saving money, or you would have settled this between yourselves. This is a big red flag that you want to wait 15 months so you can save more money. Waiting 15 months so you can finish a degree program or finish an enlistment in the armed forces makes sense, but just adding to your stash is a bizarre reason to wait so long. A simplistic explanation is that you're not really ready and you're looking for an excuse to delay. Maybe this is a control issue, or maybe you have hang-ups about money. Why is it inappropriate to marry with $20,000 in the bank but OK with $27,000? How much is your self-worth tied to your net worth? Money is the #1 reason for divorce, so if you have issues with money, you'd best get them settled before you marry. And I can tell you from experience that going from $20,000 in savings to $30,000 or even $50,000 isn't going to resolve issues around money.
And by the way, if she's old enough to marry, she's too old to be a girl.
2007-06-30 18:21:19 · answer #3 · answered by Houyhnhnm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If money is an issue from the start, there is something fundamentally wrong here.
If you are young (below 30), it is assumed that you don't have much unless parents of either or both sides help out. So wedding is a celebrated event of a new start and not measured by the amount of dollars you throw at it. So whether it is $20k or $30k, you have demonstrated that you are better off than most men at that age group.
Having said that, I wouldn't spend your hard earned $20k all on a wedding. You obviously are conservative with your money. Seems that at least half the money is better spent on a solid future (like towards a house). If I were you, I would find a partner in life who appreciates your style. This is what you should ponder real hard.
2007-06-30 18:03:09 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she truly loves you, she will understand and wait. If she throws a fit...then I would take that as a sign and get out while I could! What difference does a few months make if she is sure you are the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with. If she is insistant and you are sure she is the one for you...suggest that she work a little harder and make some money to add to your savings.
2007-06-30 17:43:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to wait, then wait. Don't get pressured into doing something you don't want to do.
And you say that you've saved money. What has she saved? Are you paying for everything or is she also paying her way?
2007-06-30 20:08:07 · answer #6 · answered by D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only got 20K? Whoa. When I got married neither one of us even had a job. I had maybe $120.00 to my name and she had next to nothing either. I bought her wedding ring set from a friend of mine that owned a pawn shop for pete's sake.
Get married. Go for it. It's lasted us 17 years so far, and we have been through thick and thicker together. Yeah it's tough but you know what? It's worth it.
Go son go!
2007-06-30 17:48:25 · answer #7 · answered by bigmatlem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an aunt tell me once..."If you wait until you can afford something, you'll miss out on a lot."
I don't know that this holds true in all situations, but money doesn't make a marriage.
2007-06-30 19:50:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my wedding barely cost $500, and my wife was exstatic. Marriage is nice, and loving, but if she wants to spend more than $20,000 or whatever, she isn't being very loving. My wifes engagement ring is cubic zirconion, because i was broke. She understands that, and sisn't care, because she loves me. Think abut that.
2007-06-30 17:43:07 · answer #9 · answered by g_saiyaman2099 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the question is are you sure you want to marry her, because it
sound like excuses. you can have a small wedding, but dont
dont do any thing that both of you will regret. it could be more
going between the surface.
2007-06-30 17:40:33 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋