I just found out that I'm pregnant by a man I now know is a criminal. He was arrested couple weeks ago for burglary. Turns out he has a history of this type of lifestyle and will most likely be in prison for the next several years, his trial date is July 6 and we find out then what his sentence will be. What would you do if you found this out? Would it be best to have an abortion in this case? I am 33 years old and a single mom of two other kids, and I have a good job in which I am financially stable. Serious answers only, without judgement please.
2007-06-30 16:02:02 · 15 answers · asked by ? 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you can take care of the child, why not?
My first son was created by a man that I later found out had just been released after serving a prison sentence for rape. It never changed my mind because I knew how I was going to raise the child and that was what was important to me. My husband adopted my son as his own after he turned 2 and I have never for one second wished that I had ever done anything different.
2007-06-30 16:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Personally abortion is not an answer for me. You have to look into your own heart to see if that is what you want. The sex was a mutual decision I am assuming, his criminal lifestyle doesn't mean the child will be like him.
It's hard not to be judgmental but you are a grown woman who knows the risk of having sex. Now you have to deal with the consequences. You say you are financially stable, a good job and have 2 kids already. Maybe this 3rd child was simply meant to be.
Life happens, do what needs to be done. For me this would mean raising the child. I would not deny knowledge of the child to the father, I would insist on child support (I don't know how much you'll get with him in jail but if he ever does a work program or gets a jail job he does get paid for it so you should see some financial help), and I would have everything legally worked out in regards to visitation.
You don't say whether he has any children, if this is his first it might be the kick in the butt that he needs to straighten his life out. You don't say if you love him and are standing by him regardless of his life choices. There's so many unknowns.
You might benefit from speaking to a therapist to sort out your feelings towards him, the new child and what you should do. Every story is different and requires a different solution.
2007-06-30 23:16:12 · answer #2 · answered by babybugs1980 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's hard. Do you really feel in your heart that having an abortion is the right thing to do? If you have a good job and are financially stable, what's the problem with having another child? However, if you really feel like you can't keep this child, then what about adoption. Instead of just killing it, why don't you give it to some very deserving people that can't have children of their own?
2007-07-01 05:07:37 · answer #3 · answered by Damon's mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is diffcult to answer this kind of question as there are so many things someone answering on the other end of the computer will never understand. Do you love him? Do you want the responsibility of having another baby? Can you emotionally handle it alone?
If this were the case for me, I wouldn't have an abortion. I would tough it out and leave that criminal behind. Even if I love him I wouldn't be able to deal with that kind of stress in my life, especially with two other children, work and a pregnancy. I wouldn't rest my decision on his bad judgements.
Good luck, I hope you make the decision that is right for you.
2007-06-30 23:11:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont believe in abortion. I would say that I used to believe that women had the right to do what they wanted with their own bodies, but now after researching it more Im against it. Have you ever researched abortion yourself? There are so many websites that have really good information on it. If I were in your position I wouldnt punish the child growing inside of me because of its fathers mistakes. Thats crazy. You created this innocent baby and you chose the man and you chose to have unprotected sex while not married so you should choose to take care of your responsibilities and raise your child. With or without the father. I think the most responsible thing you could ever do for yourself and your kids would be to tie your tubes after the baby is born. Im 22 and I had my son at 17 and I know people can judge and try to push their beliefs on you but realy abortion is sad and wrong. Good luck with everything.
2007-06-30 23:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by Princess Rach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have some serious questions you need to deal with. I can't help you decide what to do
because I don't have to live with the decision.
Think hard and decide which decision you can live
with. Even though the father is a criminal he has a right to know about the baby. I would hold off telling him until after the trial and you are sure he will be in jail. Good luck dear. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
2007-06-30 23:15:53 · answer #6 · answered by Precious Gem 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The baby isn't a criminal. And I wouldn't have conceived if I didn't want a baby (I'm careful about birth control.) so I assume the baby's not entirely an accident.
There's no proof that criminals in the genetic tree make for criminals in the offspring. At least, I never found any.
The baby isn't his father, he's a whole new being with an entirely different set of circumstances.
2007-06-30 23:09:52 · answer #7 · answered by M L 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would go with my heart. I'd probably have the child and just let him/her know how much he/she is loved. Of course no one wants to have a child who will have no father [or a crummy one] but I believe that if you are doing it well now that you'll do it well with the next one. I wouldn't personally get an abortion though because I don't think I could live with myself. That's just me though!
Pregnancy Crisis centers aren't just for teens. If you need counseling feel free to go to one. They will help you figure things out if you'd just like some reassurance. Best of Luck!
2007-06-30 23:09:32 · answer #8 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you make your own decisions..no one can make them for you. i can also tell you that i was supposed to be an aborted child but my grandmother talked my biological mother out of it and i am here bc of that. i was also adopted and now have my very own daughter who is 2 and more beautiful than anything. i know my biological father was so burnt out on drugs and alcohol and eventually it took his life. so if the father doesnt care about your pregnancy then you know he wont be there for it or you. you might want to rethink abortion and look into adoption. theres a reason for every life, thats what i say.
2007-06-30 23:12:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like I also say, the decision to have an abortion should never be based on the man. This is your baby and you should everything that you can to protect him/her.. if i were you i would also reconsider if i would want such a person involved in my babies life.
2007-06-30 23:27:09 · answer #10 · answered by finallyamommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋