I am going to visit with an aunt of mine whom is really just a very dear close friend of the family's for as long as i can remember. She has been fighting lung cancer for 2 vyears now and im waiting her approval to go and visit with her. Im very excited yet dreading the trip as well. I haven't sen her in 10 years however we have talked. Just these past 2 years we havent cause shes been sickly. Im just wondering what sort of conversations to talk about? Im afraid ill just be a bucket of tears, yet she dosn't want to be treated as if she is ill.
2007-06-30 15:55:53 · 12 answers · asked by cc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Tammy, it's obvious you care very much for your aunt. I know your visit with her will bring her joy.
Your question reminded me of the book (and movie) "tuesdays with Maury" by Mitch Albom. Check it out, maybe it will give you some ideas.
I'd suggest talking about family and give her an update on yourself and other family members. Talk about nature and the weather to open conversation. "It's a lovely day. The roses are blooming out front." Tell her about your travelling to come see her. What you've been reading or watching on TV or on the Internet. Would she like to see any old pictures you might have of family gatherings, etc.?
You are lucky to have each other. All the Best.
LindaLou
2007-06-30 16:29:18 · answer #1 · answered by LindaLou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may be hard for you, but I think you should just try to treat her as you normally would if she wasn't ill. She will appreciate it and not think you're trying to "pity" her or anything of that sort (believe me, nothing's worse than pity talk.) However, if she wants to talk about her feelings, be a good listener but still do everything in your power to cheer her up or help her maintain a positive attitude. Do you know what her interests are? Talk about that. What about your interests? Tell her how you're doing, how you're family is doing, sports, movies, good memories you've had. Topics to avoid: Politics, anything sad or depressing. Be cheerful and calm. Just try your best not to be uncomfortable, because if you are, she will be too, and that's the last thing you want.
2007-06-30 23:01:48 · answer #2 · answered by i love love 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What I did when my grandaddy was in the hospital with lung cancer was indirectly talk about good memories. Like there was this song that we both laughed about when it came on the radio.. it was a country song that said "are you ready for my love, my love?" and we would just laugh because it said "my love" twice, you know? So when I seen him in the hospital I would just bring that up in conversation... and we would both laugh about it.. We were sharing the memory without actually saying it aloud causing us both to be sad. I am very sorry about your aunt, but no matter what you say, just being there is most likely the greatest thing you can do. God bless!
2007-06-30 23:02:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't worry, as soon as you get there it will come naturally. just break the ice with a current event or the foundest story you remember of her.
Try to learn about her cancer before you get there I'm sure shes tired of telling every body how horrable it is..
Good Luck!
2007-06-30 23:07:23 · answer #4 · answered by Jorginity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk about whatever comes up in conversation naturally
I am sure she will want to hear about the last 10 years --
fill her in on all the good things in your life
and don't smoke
2007-06-30 22:58:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I worked years in a nursing home with terminally ill patients. Just talk to them like a friend. Believe me, sometimes they do want to talk about how they feel, or how it hurts. Don't tip toe around her cancer if she wants to talk about it. She knows, tell her how you feel, your fears, believe me it won't shock her. Don't try to put a cheery spin on reality, it's phony. Like don't say "never mind, you'll get better." Just talk, and when you run out of things, tell her.
2007-06-30 23:01:46 · answer #6 · answered by Clipper 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
been there. just ignore the illness. talk to the person as though you would anyone else. catch up and enjoy the time you will spend with her. ill people have enough on their mind. lighten the load and enjoy the moment.
2007-06-30 23:03:12 · answer #7 · answered by 1oldone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can talk about good times you have shared. You can talk about things you have to look forward to. Your goals. You can talk about your friends and ask for her advise.
You can ask if she's seen any good movies lately. Or read any good books.
You can tell her how much she has meant to you, being in your life.
Just be yourself. She will know if you are forcing yourself to be any other way.
2007-06-30 23:01:28 · answer #8 · answered by Jodi A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk about all the good memories & times you had together.
Ask her about her & your parent when they were your age.
Let her lead the conversation where she is comfortable.
She may even want to talk about her illness!
2007-06-30 23:01:22 · answer #9 · answered by Robert S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go if you don't think you'll be able to hold it together. If you think you'll be ok- go and talk about anything! Catch her up on your life and what you've been doing for the 2 years you haven't been talking.
2007-06-30 22:59:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋