Well i dont even know where to start. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and two months but we have been friends for over 5 years. I love him with all my heart but i'm begining to feel like he doesnt care anymore. I kno he loves me but he doesnt act like it anymore. Whenever he talks to me he says oh he has to call me back but then never calls back for over 10 hours.(yes i have counted) He always leaves me waiting. He'll tell me that he is coming to see me then wont show up for hours. But whenever i try to talk to him about it he gets upset then makes me feel like im making a big deal out of nothing... AM I???. I just dont know what to do. It really hurts me. I could see if it happened once or twice but everyday i just cant deal. HE JUST DOESNT GET IT... when i ask him what happened he either says he fell asleep or before i even say something he'll say i know your mad and im sorry. I dont know if its me or is it him can someone please just help me.
2007-06-30 15:42:59 · 25 answers · asked by Alaina S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You aren't overreacting. It's hard to feel let down every day like that.. especially by someone you love. From what you've said, he does seem very uncaring. Why is he in a relationship if he isn't willing to listen to what bothers you and at least make an effort at trying. It gets really old really fast. Just remember that you can't change people. They'll change when and if they want to. You can't force him to listen and you can't force him to try harder... that would probably only push him further away anyways. Hope this helps with your decision. Bless you.
2007-06-30 15:49:56 · answer #1 · answered by °¤teehee¤° 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not making a big deal out of nothing. I've been in that type of situation before. I was with someone I completely trusted and she started acting the way you describe, so I thought she was just going through something in her life. She was really just losing interest in our relationship after three years. But she honestly cared about me and didn't want to hurt me by ending it. I would take him to dinner (so he can't escape or fall asleep) and say that you deserve to know what is going on. Relationships take two people. If your relationship is viable, he will care that you are so worried, as long as you come off sincere and not angry. ...GOOD LUCK!!
2007-06-30 22:52:31 · answer #2 · answered by riellee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may not like to hear what I'm about to tell you. It seems your boyfriend is bored in the relationship and wants out. While he has not said it in words, he is saying it loud and clear in action .The question is are you hearing him?The manner in which he has started to treat you certainly does not indicate or show that he loves you or wants to be with you.There is no caring, or romance, or love, or tenderness,in all of his actions.They seemed designed to upset you and make you leave or want to leave him.After five years of being with someone, you deserve a lot more respect than he is giving you.I would suggest you maintain your sense of dignity and back off him unless and until he changes his ways for the better.Good luck.
2007-06-30 23:05:33 · answer #3 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is just getting so comfortable with you that he doesn't think about these things. It happends to everyone. Once you've been together for a while, usually around a year. You get so used to each other and comfortable that you really don't need to be around each other all the time. You know you love each other and don't make such a big deal about it any more. This is what happens when you get married, but don't take it as if he doesn't care. His behavior is very normal.. Good luck
2007-06-30 22:49:11 · answer #4 · answered by dalanna218 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best advice I could give you is, take a step back from the situation. Ask yourself if your really happy being treated this way. Maybe he needs space and doesn't want to tell you beacause he's afraid that he'll hurt you. Start playing hard to get yourself, leave him guessing and don't wait around for his phone calls, then go from there.
2007-06-30 22:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by Leigh Lee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others, this is not a good thing to allow to be established in your relationship. If a man lies to you about simple things like calling back, it only leads to bigger lies when more of your emotions are on the table. Lying about coming over or calling back is not only a lie, but its a game, its inconsiderate and it shows he does not care about you. If you cant trust his word on little bitty things, what about bigger things? He just says what ever he has to say to get him through that moment, its mindless and he does not care. It is not different than being stood up, lied to or played with. Kick his *** to the curb now, before he really disapoints you, he is building up to bigger disapointments with far greater consequences - **** you can trust him with a simple phone call- let alone your heart or your time. (which apparently he does not respect your time either....it means nothing to him.) And whats really bad is that he's messing **** up for both of you, you now know that you can not look forward to anything with him, and you have to put up a shield to protect yourself,- you basicly have to lower your expectations of him- every time he speaks. U know a lie is gonna come rolling out. Its fk'd when you can not be excited about the future or when you cant anticipate something as simple as a phone call. Its the ultimate form of "lowered expectation" and low esteem relationships, why...because its so simple, something so damn simple to do becomes this big *** issue for nothing.
2007-07-01 00:59:43 · answer #6 · answered by Jules 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to say this, but it sounds to me like he's hiding something from you. My advise is to sit down with him and have a talk. If he says your making it a big deal, then tell him that you want to know the reson.
Boys can be hard to talk to but can also be very caring.
Dont forget to tell him your just consurned.
I hope you get threw this!
2007-06-30 22:48:29 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is pulling away.... you should give him some space or he might split. he could be feeling too smothered or something. you should talk to him about seeing other people, not ***** about him not taking time for you and see what he says. he probably needs some space or could feel too pressured by you to spend time together.
besides, you dont want to be with someone that doesnt put effort into the relationship- get some distance and see what else is out there.
2007-06-30 22:47:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all NO its not you, you need to get straight with him and start finding out what his problem is...stay strong and donot let him act like he is the boss of your lives if he says he's going to show up somewhere he should show up there and on time to. You need to sit him down and say something like..."I Don't know what has gotten into you lately but im concerned and i think you are not the same person i met a few years ago if you are acting the way you are right now...set him straight.
2007-06-30 22:51:38 · answer #9 · answered by The Assasin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him just how you feel. Tell him what you have said here. I think it's him. Maybe you need a break from each other meaning you should not be at his beck and call. Find something to do with your friends and tell him you might give him a call when you get home. You need to get a life for yourself and let him live his. Good luck.
2007-06-30 22:48:13 · answer #10 · answered by puanani 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋