Military wives.....pros and cons of being a military spouse?

Question

Just would like to know what I'm getting myself into!!!!!!

Answer 1

Lets see, you asked a very loaded question. Being a military wife, I have been married to the military for 12 years so far. I have seen one overseas command and many stateside commands. One thing I will tell you, DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR SPOUSES COMMAND MOVEMENTS. I hear this all the time, women and men both walking around in public sharing all of the info they dont see anything wrong with it. If you are married to a sailor then I have to say expect them to be gone a reasonable amount of time. I dont know anything about other military groups, but navy is gone alot at times. I would recommend that you get use to doing things a portion of time by yourself, and don't expect the Navy to give you more time with your spouse, or dont expect most of the commands to allow your husband to be available for regular doctor appointments. expect some stress, but overall it is been a fun and adventerous life.

Answer 2

The pros are like any other pros of being married to the person you love the most and plan to live forever with. Thats my opinion and outlook. There are women that will say the medical benefits, (I know some that married just for that) but that means nothing to me.
The cons are you are not first. It doesnt matter that he wants you to be, the fact is is that you are not. Long deployments suck. Being sterotypically grouped with the bad military wives also sucks.
If there is a strong relationship of trust and love, the pros outweigh any con the military can pose. I would marry my husband over and over again, military or not. Good luck.

Answer 3

It depends on you really. I'll try to do it simple like this. While frequent moving can mean 10 different addresses in 25 years it could also mean you have seen 10 of the most spectacular places on earth. Making new friends during each move can be a burden or a wonderful person to visit 2 or 3 moves down the way. It can be stressful for some kids but it can also teach them how to adapt to a billion different situations and people--my brother and I love relocating now lol. It can be hell on a career though depending on your chosen profession which is the only real drawback that I can say is really a drawback.

Answer 4

There are good lots of pros and cons listed on this board.

My recommendation is to bloom where you are planted. In other words, every time you move to a new location, embrace that location, meet new people, sightsee that state etc. Don't sit and whine and complain how you hate the place etc. I heard that from alot of military wives. Years down the road, you will look back with fond memories of each place you lived. I recommend taking pictures and making scrapbooks of each location.

Answer 5

12 years ago, I was married for 3 months when hubby came home and said "I'm thinking about talking to a recruiter" and I shrugged...okay honey....The Army did pay off 15K of college student loans, but let me list some of the pros and cons:

Pro: you don't live near your inlaws
Con: you don't live near your family either

Pro: they pay for movers to move you every 2 years
Con: your moves every 2 years rip your heart as you say goodbye to close friends. It is especially hard on kids...moves in the middle of the school year, etc.

Pro: you retire in 20 years with pension and health benefits
Con: you might not get the necessary promotions and retire after 19 years without any benefits whatsoever

Pro: you get "Behavioral Health" Benefits
Con: you will need counseling at some point in his career.

Pro: he is gone 6 months of the year, you can redecorate the house to be a "pink palace" while he is gone
Con: he is gone 6 months of the year and you don't feel like you get a break from taking care of everything.



Being a military wife is alot like running a marathon. It is long and exhausting. There will be times when you rejoice, like when spouse gets the promotion, and times when you cry...when he misses the birth of your babies...the kindergarten graduation, the first ballet recital...

But someone has to protect everybody's future.

If your husband desires to join the military or you are considering marrying a man in the military, you have to be "all in" to use a poker term. You have to put all your chips on the table and mix them with his. His dream MUST become your dream too. You will sacrifice who you are on a personal level, to be stong for him and his career.

As a military wife, you will work your butt off to get the raise or promotion, only to have to turn in your letter of resignation a month later due to another military transfer...only to be transferred to a place where you start at the bottom again, making 2/3 of what you were earning last month, doing nearly the same thing.

I love the United States. Our children are very proud of their father. They miss him when he is gone, but the pride gets them through. They know their father is a noble man. They know their father loves their country. Our children know, as they lay down to sleep, somewhere in the world, there are men and women willing to lay down their very lives just for them and their future and for the peace of this country.

Let him follow his heart and serve his country. Join him. Serve the country together.

Answer 6

I'm very proud of my husband being an Army reservist. But, honestly, it's a very difficult way of life. He's in AIT right now. He's been gone 1 week, and has 3 yet to go. So, I'm left alone with our 3 kids. It's really hard, but I'm proud that my husband is taking part in making sure we can have our freedom.

Answer 7

If you love the person- get married. If you're not sure- don't. As the mother of a soldier, I can tell you it's not easy but if you have the fortitude and the love and the TRUST! you can survive his or her being gone. BUT---You have to have the trust!! Most important is TRUST!

Answer 8

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT!! dont let him being in the military hold you back from being with the man you love, i almost made this mistake. i couldve missed out on the best thing (along with my children) in my life. it is not easy (he is deployed right now, wont be back until Nov) but anything worth having isnt easy. i wouldnt change a thing, GO FOR IT! GOOD LUCK! i wish you many years!!

Answer 9

actually you have to decide where you have to go may be you wanna loyal to your hubby or due to stress you wanna enjoy sex there are two ways and you have to choose one