why do people?

Question

why do people say that beging gay is a sin? im a lesbian and my family is totally big on the god does not like gay people so please help me tell my family that beging gay or lesbian is not a sin its how you are and how you were born

Answer 1

I'm sorry you are in such a situation and I sympathize with you and it would probably be in your best interests to wait until you are older or at least ready to deal with any of the outcomes that coming out to your family could bring.

I know and you know that there is nothing wrong with the way you are, just remember this, you are perfect just the way you are, no matter who you are.

to dedeskinner below: and yet we've found a way to make it work...

Answer 2

Unfortunately, you're in a situation where you cannot win. Why? Because even though you are what ever sexual orientation you are, religious people don't see it as a "normal" thing and their "Holy User Manual" says that's a bad thing (i.e. Sin) and no matter what you say or do, Religious people are very one sided because that is what they are told to believe and are brought up to believe... not just on the gay issue, but on many issues.

My Dad is a pastor and I haven't told him because he would disown me. He's made it clear his religion is his life and nothing I say or do will change his mind. In his book, I would be a disgrace to him. This is very contrary to their book that preaches to "love one another" yet they are the first to condemn you if you are not on their "team".

Another reason for this is that Science and Religion have always been mortal enemies since the dawn of religion. Science is a threat to religion because it contradicts many of its beliefs (like the earth is only 4 thousand years old, etc.). Science has shown and is well documented now that Homosexuality/Bisexuality is not a "choice" but a biological factor, just the same as some people have green eyes and some have blue. It's in your genetic makeup of who you are, and you can't change that, no matter what anyone says.

If it looks like a duck, it quacks like a duck, it swims like a duck.... then it is what it is. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. (People used to think the earth was flat too... they don't no more.)

Your best bet is to surround yourself with people who will support you NOT for your sexual orientation, but who will accept you AS YOU ARE... gay, straight, or what ever. Good luck and keep your chin up.

Answer 3

I am the kid of a four square Pentecostal layman. For me to come out would had hurt the whole family so i didn't. I also didn't stay in the closet.. I just choose to open it in another state.

If your family is as close minded as some who have answered your question you may decide not to fight a battle so close to home.

Wolffman already said better than I can.

The only thing I want to add is that before my parents died they did accept me and my mate and they did question their congregation on how they could ever think god could hate any of his children. Sad thing is thou that didn't happen till my parents were close to leaving this world and a lot of time was wasted.

Answer 4

You can't change a person's heart. Your family, like mine used to, needs time to assimilate the knowledge of your love. Most religious people use the Biblical passages they remember and parrot them over and over. This will eventually stop as they realize you're the exact same person you were all those years you were growing up. Fundamental Protestantism isn't the only religion in the world--you may need to look into other churches like Metropolitan Community Church, for Catholics, there's a group called DIGNITY, I can't think of the Jewish group but there is one, I know. Buddhism has a "live and let live" attitude toward sexuality--you may want to check into that for yourself.

Answer 5

If your family is religeous , thats the problem right there . Have them read the book of leviticus carefully and get them to admit that they would never want all of those ideas to prevail in modern times . If they keep it up tell them youve had it with christianity . Youre a hindu now.

Answer 6

Always be yourself. In my beliefs God is okay with being Gay but he doesn't like it. You must think to that God created you for the way you are. It all goes back to Adam guy and Eve girl. That is I believe where the arguements are starting from.

Answer 7

God loves ALL people but hates the SIN!

Answer 8

tell them God created man in His image. so in essence if it really was a sin He must be a sinner as well. It was just the way God made you.

Answer 9

That's all you can really say.

Although this may be painful to hear, being blunt is not always the best choice. Perhaps saving it for when you're older and supporting yourself is the best idea.

Answer 10

People say that being gay is a sin for a variety of reasons, including the fact that it's easier to condemn something you don't understand rather than try to understand it, but I think most who genuninely believe this take it from their (in my opinion, very narrow and very incorrect) reading of the Bible.

The Bible, as popularly translated, does say that both homosexual acts and masturbation are grave offenses. However, the vast majority of the handful of mentions of homosexuality or gay sex come from the old testament and are right alongside that proscribe death as the only acceptable punishment for things like disrespecting one's parents (also considered a grave sin equal to homosexuality, to give you some perspective--which makes you wonder if they meant to imply either was as grave as that word means to us today), or the hacking off of limbs for petty crimes, or even for working on the Sabbath. Jesus makes NO mention of homosexuality, but he does say you must reject your family entirely to follow him, among other things in both testaments calling on slaves to be obedient to their masters. See where I'm going with this?

(Forget Soddom and Gomorrah -- that story has been shown to be very ambiguous once you look at the various possible translations from the original language and consider the cultural traditions of the time and the larger point of the story. The story is likely more about hospitality and forcible rape than homosexuality.)

I am VERY religious and believe that the Bible is both the word of God and a historical text and the problem isn't with the word of God or what Jesus said or did, but rather how various scholars have selectively chosen to use one meaning of an ancient word over another, equally proper, meaning and how modern Christian conservatives use the Bible selectively (they love to cite the homosexuality as a sin part, but dismiss the passages in the SAME SECTION, calling for killing disrespectful children--you can't say the part you like better is true but the part you don't like--only sentences away--is not and expect to have much credibility!) to forward their own agenda of how they want the world to be. God's word holds up, but it's been filtered, not necessarily maliciously, but filtered over centuries before it got to me, you, or your family.

I am socially liberal and go to a fairly liberal Catholic church with a priest who chooses to focus on larger issues of poverty, civility, war and peace, and societal compassion instead of harping on abortion or homosexuality all the time, and I have learned to take my cue from him. He's the one who taught our congregation about how you can use the Bible as a guide to be a better person, or as a weapon to hurt others--you can guess which one he recommends!

The only other thing I can say, though, is that most people who believe it's a sin (and who cite the Bible) are sincere in that belief, and, while many condemn gay people, others, particularly relatives, simply believe that it is a real sin and don't want their child to live in a sinful way and be unhappy because of it. The answer with these people, I've found, is to

A) Choose your battles. Know who's open to hearing your point of view and who just wants to wallow in their unchanging position. Figure out if the condemnation comes from fear for you and misunderstanding or from hate...you can work, especially with those you love and who love you, with people who are coming from fear or misunderstanding. You can't argue with hate and should walk away.

B) Make sure people know you're not attacking God or religion--particularly their religion or their beliefs. Just as you don't want them attacking something so fundamental to you, they will react badly if you start out by challenging something so deeply held by them.

B) educate people by knowing your stuff...know the sections of the Bible that say homosexuality is wrong and be prepared to open one up, scan down a few sections and show the person talking to you that the same section calls for death and dismemberment for things it says are horrible sins but we don't think are any more. Ask, in a respectful way, how that person can say that one section is 100% right but the other parts are outdated. Start that discussion.

C) Plant the seeds and leave it alone. Most people aren't going to change their minds during a discussion or argument. Give them the information, ask the questions, and let them think. You'd be surprised how many people after wrestling with these questions for a few hours, days, weeks, or even months--particularly when it comes in the wake of knowing someone who has come out to them--will come around and even become defenders...but you have to be patient and not do to them what they might do to you...judge and dismiss them...instead give them time and the knowledge and respect that they may have to be changing years of thinking and beliefs.

D) Even if you don't change your family or friends you can be confident you've done what you can and given them the tools to be more comfortable with your homosexuality. From that point on, it's their choice.