My best friend started going thru divorce last year. We spent alot of time together, have seen each other at our possible worst and have cried to each other about our past relationships. A few months into his divorce, we took it a step further and started dating and then things because serious. Then I moved away for the past 8 month and we have been maintaining a long distance relationship. Now that the divorce is final and everything is settled, he wants me to move in with him to see how things go for us. I am also divorced and we have had a talks about future marriage and right now, we both agree that its nothing we want to rush into. We want to know its right the "next time." We both have children from our previous marriages. They get along great. However, my biggest concern, even tho I spend day in day out with this guy before we got involved, we have never disagreed or argued. I am afraid this will change when and if we move in together. Is it time to do this?
2007-06-30 13:21:58 · 12 answers · asked by chassie81 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't be ridiculous if you move in together of course you are going to argue and disagree from time to time.Look you have a lot more going for you than you realize,you probably know each other better than most married people know each other.
GO FOR IT.
2007-06-30 13:48:54 · answer #1 · answered by Julius C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give the relationship a bit more time, make sure you have both moved on from your previous marriages. Also I would suggest not moving in, if you are serious abotu taking the next step then you need to have a frank discussion about your views and habits, then if you both think that the other perosn is still a good match get engaged and plan a wedding. Marriages where the spouses don't live together before the cermony have an exceptionally higher chance of lasting. Also make sure you children are comfortable with the idea.
2007-06-30 13:26:34 · answer #2 · answered by University Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think both of you should take some time to recover from your respective divorces before jumping in to living together.
My BF and I have been together for 5 years, and still don't live together. He was married for 18 years, I was married for 23. We each have children with our first spouse - mine are grown and gone, but he still has one "at home". We will probably get married or live together at some point in time in the future, but the future is still a ways off. Could you move back to the same town where he lives and get your own place? Kinda like "live close by, but visit often"??
No matter what - keep the lines of communication open. There shouldn't EVER be any subject that is "off-limits" or "we don't talk about that".
2007-06-30 13:29:08 · answer #3 · answered by Leah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not move near each other and spend as much time together as you can? Moving in to "see how it goes" might be okay if it was just the 2 of you but you both have kids that need to be your priority during the post divorce stresses and apparent moving.
I would give it a year!
2007-06-30 15:35:54 · answer #4 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should feel when is the right time. The answer can only be answered by you. Since you both have gone through a failed relationship, you both have fears and worries about failing again. That is normal and good. Use these fears and work on having these issues resolved before diving in to your next marriage. Remember; a blind guy falls into a hole the first time because he is blind. He falls the second time because he is stupid.
Take it one step at a time and you both should feel when is the right time. It may be tomorrow. It may never be.
2007-06-30 13:34:35 · answer #5 · answered by azulladosiempre 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good Faith Based Pre-marrriage councelling is always a good idea. Especially when you have been burned by it before. It is just like a prep course. Since you know each other so well, and have had such a great friendship then when you do have that fight, and it is inevitable to fight when you share your life with someone it will be really hard if you aren't prepared for it.
2007-06-30 13:27:35 · answer #6 · answered by terripoe82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's way too soon to move in together. What's wrong with just dating? If you move in together what signals are you sending the kids? Shack up and if it don't work move out? Why put your kids thru this so you can "see" if a relationship is gonna work?
2007-06-30 13:26:14 · answer #7 · answered by Elt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never move in with someone on the rebound. Tell him to wait at least 6 months to a year.
2007-06-30 14:55:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is too easy to not take responsibility and be in it for the long haul with no papers. I would spend time with him but not move in until you are married. Why bother ever getting married if you have everything for free?
2007-06-30 13:27:15 · answer #9 · answered by bethybug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try it, The best might be to come. AAlthough it is always a gamble either way. You dont want to wish you did something that you did not do.
2007-06-30 13:27:22 · answer #10 · answered by angel in love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋