I just recently found out about a month ago that my husband was having an affair with someone on our job. This lady had the nerve to come to our home and tell me that she's in love with my husband, and he's been lying to both of us. They have been together for a year and a half. My husband says he sorry, but he's really not showing it. He told me that he wants to be with me, but he still has feeling for this hoe!! He says that he does love her, and I don't think I can deal with that. I have been really depressed and don't know what to do. We have four children together, a home, and a marriage of five years. I really can't stand both of these hoes right about now. I have never cheated on my husband and feel that he has disrespected me to the highest level of direspect. He couldn't even tell me the whole truth about the relationship, she did when she came to the house. He says he has not been talking to her and does not want to be with her anymore. Is he still trying to cheat on me???
2007-06-30 13:13:25 · 42 answers · asked by Sexy Seductive T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Kick his #ss to the curb Honey. You can do better than this loser. Get yourself a real good lawyer and sue his pants off. If he's not cheating on you for the moment, he will be soon. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You will never be able to trust this sorry, pathetic excuse for a human being again. Start stock piling the money away where he can't get to it.
2007-07-05 22:23:11 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want a divorce because his child support is going to be astronomical when you divorce him. To answer your question, I don't think you mean enough to him. He has been cheating on you for a year and a half and it took the other woman to fill you in on the details, probably because he's been telling her all along that he loves her, that he has to stay with you for the kids etc. As for whether he is still cheating, I'd say odds are very much in favor of yes. Even if he is not, he has before, is showing no remorse and will in all likelihood do it again. I hate being so blunt because I know you are hurting, and that the thought of starting again with four kids has got to be wicked scary, but you need to dump this guy fast and with the help of a good lawyer.
2007-06-30 13:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats is horrible babe. In my opinion it wouldn't matter if he was still cheating or not. Sounds like that had an ongoing affair. And if he said he loved her than he still loves her, he just doesn't want to break up your marriage. If you continue on in this relationship you will go crazy. The ammoun of trust that he needs to earn back from you isn't possible. It will never be the same. I would go for child support and get a lawyer to get the house, the fact that he has been cheating gives you an edge in court.
2007-06-30 13:19:00 · answer #3 · answered by Deborah R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your kids deserve better than what he's doing to you all. Divorce is a very hard thing to go through but, in the long run, you will all be happier. It will be real hard for your kids to go through this but once it is past and you have all recovered from this you will all be able to be much happier. My 3 daughters would tell you in a heartbeat that once the leaving the LOSER is past, it will all start to make all of you get better. You are not going to be able to move on in the relationship so it is probably time to move on. Their father(sperm-donor) was a crack infested, lying, alcoholic bastard that made me miserable, and them miserable too. If you are unhappy, it is reflecting on them and once you all get out of the bad situation, the hurt will heal a little bit at a time. Your kids are going to cry about it because they won't really understand why Daddy is gone, but they will recover. My youngest was 2 yrs old and my oldest was only 6 and middle was 4 and my youngest cried like I was killing her when we left. But now, she is healthy, happy to be away from him and she is now 12 yrs. old and has seen with her own eyes why I left. Children are resilient. They will survive because they have a mommy who cares enough to want to give them a good life. They will love you more for that in the long run and you will see that by diving into a Mom/kids only w/o a cheating dad in the picture relationship, Your lives will be much more fulfilling.
2007-07-07 10:10:27 · answer #4 · answered by roloswife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
who cares if he is STILL trying to cheat on you...
He cheated on you.... the second time will be easier.... the third even easier...
Imagine... he's at a business meeting.... and he meets a new woman... "well, what the heck... I've already ruined my vows"... you know what I mean.
I think the best thing you can do for you and your beautiful children is respect yourself enough to not be with him.
I'm not saying leave him forever.... but leave him for now.... in a year...you'll know if he's a dog or not.
If he spends the next year doing everything he can to win you back (going to counseling....etc.) then I might consider it.... but for now...NO WAY. Show him that he absolutely can't cheat on you without serious consequences. He needs to move out for a while... go live with a friend....
Let him tell his friends why he can't go home to his family.... a little humility might be good for him.
2007-07-07 10:26:23 · answer #5 · answered by bored at work 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are both losers. They have lied, disrespected, deceived and betrayed you and any people she may have in her life. They obviously do not care about anyone but themselves and probably never will. You don't deserve to be treated that way, and for her to come to your house, is to me the ultimate in disrespect. That is your home and should not be a place where she can come to vent her frustrations that this man won't "do anything" about you. Think to yourself do you want to spend the rest of your life with a loser, a liar or someone who totally disrespects you, your home and your feelings. You can go on...you can make a better life for yourself...you can love and respect yourself enough to get these two nasty people out of your life for good. You are the one in control of your life and your relationship, not her and not him. It doesn't matter if he says he doesn't want to see her again. After a year and a half it will happen again. Don't be fooled. Remember he is a liar. Be strong, have faith in yourself and your worth. Peace.
2007-07-05 01:27:13 · answer #6 · answered by wherehaveallthehippiesgone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he loved u in the first place he would not have cheated on u, she came to your house to get results, to force the issue and get u to divorce him. the thing that would most worry me is that he is admitting he loves her, and that he is not showing remorse, as actions speak louder than his words. if he loves her it means he does not love u, as i believe one can't love 2 people at once. if he is saying he loves her now that it is all out in the open, he will be leaving u soon, so get ready for it. he has done the ultimate worse thing a husband can do to his wife, and even if u still love him, u need to file for divorce, and get rid of him, as your marriage can never be the same now that u know about her. if this has gone on for over a year, it is a little bit more serious than a one night stand. yes he is sorry he got caught, but not sorry about what he did.
2007-06-30 13:33:13 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has broken your trust and you will never get that back no matter how long you hang in there for. You will always be suspicious of him and even if you try to patch it up, it will only work for so long. You can hang in there and hope for the best but you'll wonder where he is if he's late home etc. I stayed with my husband for 10 years after he cheated on me (with my sister). I tried to patch it up but realised I had wasted 10 precious years that could have been put to better use. He didn't deserve to have them - or me - and in the end I just had to go. Don't waste precious time on someone who broke your trust and cheated and lied to you.
2007-07-07 15:29:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he kept this secret for that long, your husband has no conscience and no commitment. You don't have to continue this abuse. Depending on the age of the children, you should get a divorce; it is hard to continue in a relationship where your spouse has been unfaithful. If your children are too young, and you decide to get a divorce, they are going to act up. If he cheated on you once and got away with it, he'll definitely do it again. Feel free to email me. Good luck:)
2007-07-05 22:28:48 · answer #9 · answered by Rafa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You deserve better then that...he doesnt appreciate you at all. If you stay and he still goes on with the affair with this lady..what is that showing your children..that it is okay for a man to treat a women that way. I say you and him set down and talk it out and he must never have contact with her again...if he is willing to do that then their is reason for a new start on the relationship...if he isnt then maybe seperation is best for now.
2007-06-30 13:57:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋