My fiance only wants to have sex twice a month.?

Question

I am willing to compromise but it is always a me problem. I ask her to even fake it every once in a while but it is always me doing the work and most of the time its a chore to even get any. There are times I have to try for days. She wonders why I get cranky. This is my only problem with our relationship and I am about to leave after five years. Hell lately its so blah when we do - do it I can't even finish. Should I just leave?

Answer 1

Since you are engaged, consider pre-martial counseling before you throw in the towel.

Does she know you are ready to leave?

Reading material:
Five Love Lanugages, Gary Chapman
Relationship Rescue, Phil McGraw
Mars & Venus in the Bedroom, John Gray

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

My friend you have a problem. Both you and your fiance have different sex drives. If in the beginning of your relationship sex was much frequent then you may have to look into the reason her sex drive has declined. It could be a medical condition, may be she has too many chores to do, such as working, taking care of the kids and the house and going to school.
If she just does not want to have sex more frequently, her lack of sexual intimacy with you, will continue to harm your relationship to the point wheareas constant arguments will occur, then the distance and lack of communication until you leave the relationship, cheat on her or find someone else.
The three major reason relationships fall apart are 1. Financial, 2. Infidelity 3. lack of sex.

If you tried everything to make it work like talking with her, and counseling and everything remains the same. Then you have to look at everything as a sign of what you will encounter with her after your married.
A problem before marriage; does not fix itself after marriage; at times the problem gets bigger.
You live only once and you have to think about yourself and your happiness.

Answer 3

i have been married for ten years. sex is very important in a marriage. you should try to find out the root of the problem before you say goodbye. was she molested or raped or had a similar kind of negative sexual esperience? if so, maybe that's something you and counseling can help her with. you don't really say what you're doing to "try" to get her to have sex, maybe you need some lessons....if you are being very attentive to her "needs" and she still doesn't want any sex, you should think about how you're going to live with no sex for the rest of your married life to her.

Answer 4

If you love her and can possibly work this out in therapy I wouldn't just toss a whole relationship out over sex. On the other hand, if you two don't really get along that well anyway, I would definetely take this a GOOD sign to split. Sex is just too important, to me anyway.

Answer 5

If you are not satisfied with twice a month sexual activity and the other person is unwilling to compromise then leave. No one should be pressured to have sex, but everyone should be willing to compromise for the happiness of their loved one.

Answer 6

maybe there is something medically wrong with her ,do you guys have children,sometimes women who work and have children there job never ends it's 24/7 work and children so she could just be tired or amybe you should asking her wat is it htat she wants from u sexually.take a vacation, rent a nice hotel room ask housefeeping to decorate it with romantic things,take her out 4 a nice romantic dinner, massage her boy after a nice hot bubble bath with candles around the tub (her) then end the night with a nice full body massage with some nice warm oil start letting her know how sexy and beautiful she is bring rosses home for her everyday.rekindle that fire that got u 2 2gether in the 1st place be attentive 2 her needs

Answer 7

If you could just leave and not try to solve this problem (a problem that could be solved) then you don't love her.

Your obviously a failure if when you have a problem, you run.

If this is the way your thinking before you get married, then maybe you better leave, because your marriage will end up in divorce.

Answer 8

You have been together for five years and the "fire is gone."
It does happen.
If you really love her (and she really loves you) and want to spend the rest of your life with her I would suggest that the two of you get counseling.

When this happend to me (loss of sex drive) it was because I have fallen out of love. This is a normal thing, though. It didn't mean that I didn't love him, just that the spark was gone.

Answer 9

Tell her you have made up your mind and your moving out and this coming Saturday you are going out to look at apartments.Right now it's been nothing but talk on your part it's time to act. if she thinks you are really going to move out she might come around.It doesn't mean that you will do it, but go out and really look.Who knows you just might find that moving out for 6 months will do the two of you a lot of good. If she thinks you are sleeping with other women she will give it up and enjoy doing it,at least i did when my husband moved out. We started to go out on dates together then afterwords go back to his place and have some of the best sex we ever had.He had his cake and was eating it to and in a way i was to. That was 10 years ago when he came back home to me, we still love each other very much and we still enjoy sex together.If he hadn't moved out we wouldn't be together today.

Answer 10

that sux. you should sit down and have a talk with her, tell her your side of things, and let her explain her side of things. and try and work out your issues yourself, maybe you need relationship counceling or something.

I get craky if I don't at least get something once a week.