She lives with the guy she left me for and he doesn't work. (Writing this down I beleive I need help LOL)
2007-06-30 08:16:58 · 28 answers · asked by paisley1910 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
set up some sort of deal with her depending on the situation. if there are kids involved then yea, pay SOME of the bills. if there are no kids then tell her that you will help her if and when you can, but her lazy bf has to get a job or move out. i think because you are helping her now, this means that things didnt end on a sour note so it seems there are still friendly feelings at least. helping a friend is ok, just dont support or enable her bf anymore. talk to her about this openly and honestly.
2007-06-30 08:23:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Since you said nothing about children, I'm assuming that either you have custody of them or there are no children from this marraige.
Unless she takes you to court for alimony, you have no reason to help her pay her bills. She chose to leave you, so she has to live with the consequences. I would block her number from your phone lines, as well as any other form of communication that she tries to use. If she shows up at your door, politely tell her that since the two of you are no longer married you have no reason to assist her financially, especially since she has someone in her house that should be able to pay the bills. Hand her a copy of the local job paper & tell her to start looking for a job.
If she keeps coming around asking for money & the polite way didn't work, tell her that if she doesn't leave you alone you will call the police. She is trespassing on your property & harassing you. You may actually have to call the police on her once to make sure that she will take you seriously.
I would keep your lawyer close in case she gets a case of the money-grubbers & tries to sue you for alimony. Just make sure to be firm, since otherwise she will just continue to ask you for money. Don't give her a penny, as that will just ensure that she will be back each month with her hand outstretched. Don't take her back either.
It's women like this that give the rest of woman-kind a bad name. Sounds like the guy she's living with is the type of guy that gives all the other men a bad name as well.
2007-06-30 15:24:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex left me for my best friend; yet when the bills (his bills) came due he had spent all of his money on her or on frivolous things he enjoyed. I admit I fell for it for quite a while. The bonds of matrimony were hard for me to forget. It took some time but I realized, except for sleeping with him it wasn't so different than when we were married. Finally I put my foot down and decided we could be friends for our child's sake but the only money that would be swapped between us would benefit our son and my ex's life was now his own and I was no longer responsible for him. He made the choice and he could live with the consequences. You are entitled to your own life now; let her move on without you. After all, it was what she wanted.
2007-06-30 15:24:29 · answer #3 · answered by littleone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her when you were together, you didn't mind paying for stuff she needed, or paying bills. But now she left you, don't give her anymore money. If ya'll have kids together that is a different story, but if not, she left you, so now she needs to deal with paying things on her own. Next time tell her NO.
2007-06-30 15:43:49 · answer #4 · answered by Heartful_poet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not the only man I know who does this. I can't figure it out, but...
It's good to be a nice person who is willing to help others out.
It's NOT good to let people take advantage of you and, then, think less of you for it.
Practice saying 'no', okay? Or you'll wind up alone, broke and wondering why such a nice guy as yourself has nothing to show for it but a big boot up his *ss.
Good luck.....
2007-06-30 15:30:31 · answer #5 · answered by Cake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should make him work. If you don't have kids there's no reason for you to be financially obligated to her, and if you do have kids you're still only obligated to them. The next time she asks for money just tell her you don't have any extra because you've been paying her bills. She won't like it, but maybe she'll make her lazy new boyfriend get off his butt and do something.
2007-06-30 15:21:52 · answer #6 · answered by nope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You THINK you're being taken advantage of? Honey seriously, think about this for a second. What are you doing?!?
“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
2007-06-30 15:23:48 · answer #7 · answered by Hayley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you're right. You do need some help in getting over this obsession with your former wife. You can only be taken advantage of if you allow it.
2007-06-30 15:20:57 · answer #8 · answered by kattsmeow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heres my email write me ok bbrriiaann73@YAHOO.COM
LOOK i was in the same thing so i can relate
tell her to just fly off a mountain or figure it out on her own, this is why i dont talk to my ex unless i have to we have kids together so we deal with that but other wise no
2007-06-30 15:20:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW ok good i thought my ex was the only stupid ***. I am in the process of leaving my ex too. I dont work, i make his dumbass support me. But we have kids, so the army forces him to do it anyways.
But yea, dont tell him this, but just cut her off. tell her if she really wants to be with him that shes not your problem anymore
2007-06-30 15:25:53 · answer #10 · answered by Sizzle® 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋