About 3 years ago my husband screwed up. He got this girl pergo. When I found out about the relationship he told her to get lost and begged me to stay telling me she was the biggest mistake of his life. Well this girl told him she didn't want anything from him EVER. Here we are 2 years after the birth of this kid she is no wanting childsupport. I know she is trying to get an divorce from her husband "they were seperated at the time" well this week they had to meet to talk about the child support. The court said at this point my husband isn't considered the dad because she IS married. They are now going to have to take a DNA test. She told the court she doesn't want to be around my husband and is asking for the test to be taken at different times. They are unable to take the test at different times. They are going to have to meet at least again. The sad thing is she brought her mom and a friend to the court. On the way out she made fun of my husband. Why is she doing this?
2007-06-30 05:56:16 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is the one who slept with her and got her pregnant so by law he has responsibilities to support and help raise that child, what kind of man are you staying with that does not want to see his own child or help support his own child. He screwed up and now has to face the facts that although he may be sorry for his mistake he still has a child. Put yourself in that childs shoes, it is not the childs fault that he slept with her and the child is the one who will be affected the most in the end. He should stand up and be a Dad.
2007-06-30 06:18:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a lot going on here. It sounds like the woman is treating this in a very immature manner, there is not much you can do about that. Your husband got himself into something that is going to effect your relationship from now on. The other person's husband is probably protesting the fact he has to pay child support for someone else's child. I think any child that is born during a marriage is considered a product of the marriage regardless of who the father is. As you are finding out these kind Of things can create a real legal mess for everyone involved. Everyone should take a good look at this and see one of the big problems cheating can cause. The emotional problems are not the only thing caused be a cheating spouse.
2007-06-30 13:57:13 · answer #2 · answered by K K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is going through a tough time with her divorce. She is emotional and upset. She may even have to explain to the child that her husband wasn't the father and that your husband is the father. That would be hard on a mother to have to change her child's world with a divorce and a bombshell like his/ her paternity. She's acting out and her bad behavior should be ignored for a time.
She thought her marriage would work out, that her husband would raise the child and that everything would go on as before. That dream is gone now. Her marriage is over, she is left to raise a child alone and her ex isn't going to be supporting her and the baby anymore...emotionally, physically or financially.
I hope that your husband will assert his rights as the father and begin to have visitation with his child. I also hope that you will develop a relationship with the child and be a good step- mom. It may be a lot, but it would be good for all concerned if you could be friendly with the childs mother. Because of the baby, your husband, you and the mother are bonded for at least the next 14-15 years.
Your husband made a mistake, but he is legally and morally responsible for the care of a small, vulnerable, human being. Because you are his wife, you share that legal and moral responsiblilty.
2007-06-30 13:11:21 · answer #3 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is she doing this?
1. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
2. With her own marriage on the rocks, she probably really does need some support to help with the child that she AND YOUR HUSBAND created.
Let's not forget that the only reason your husband broke off this affair is because you found out about it. And then, at a rather difficult time for the other woman, he told her to "get lost". Charming. And now you expect her to be more civil? I think not. Just because you have allowed your husband to call the shots doesn't mean that she will, or should, do the same.
Sorry. But no sympathy here.
And just so you know, the court will likely base his child support payments not on his income solely but on yours as well. This child and its mother have now become part of both of your lives. You may as well get used to it.
2007-06-30 13:17:25 · answer #4 · answered by Tom K 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is making fun of him, because if the baby is his, she has him right where she wants him, and there's absolutely nothing you and he can do about it.
If he is the father, the court will not only make him start paying child support, they will make him pay the last 2 years worth as well.
Once she is divorced, she is a single mother, and she is looking to get as much free income as she can get. And that means she will get it from your husband for the next 15 - 20 years, and there is no way out of it if he is, in fact, the father.
Child support is a very useful tool for vindictive women looking for a handout.
2007-06-30 13:18:36 · answer #5 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever been to court? It sucks....... divorce court does... family law... yikes!
She probably is a bit crazy... she "seperated" from her husband, got with your husband, had his child.... geez.... its a plot from a soap opera.
I don't understand why they wouldn't let them take the DNA test seperately. I've known people who've had to do the test and they will take a polaroid of the testing people so they can show that they tested the right parent/child.
You know whose really screwed in this? The other woman's soon to be ex husband. The court may decide that its in the child's best interest that her ex be the "daddy" and so....... he may have 18 years of support to pay for YOUR husbands baby.
2007-06-30 13:11:42 · answer #6 · answered by Aron1968_30 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My concerns:
1) That your husband is capable of doing this to begin with
2) He didn't end it with this other woman until you found out about it. So, if you hadn't found out about it, would he still be playing his game of 2 lives?
3) Your choosing to pay for his mistake.
4) You may now forever be tied to this woman. (psycho or not it won't be easy)
Although bringing her friends to court to make fun of your husband as they walk out isn't exactly the mature thing to do, she's probably just hurt. If your husband is the father, he has a financial obligation to that child and I would hope he'll step up to the plate ATLEAST for that. This is not the child's fault.
At this point, the only advice I can give you is that you need to figure out how much of this you can take/are willing to take. I'm shocked you are still around.
Good luck!
2007-06-30 13:30:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is lucky to have you, but like everyone else has said if he is the dad, it is his responcibility to support the child. It is not the child's fault and besides monetary support from the father, a child is a lot of work for a mother to raise alone. Having to step up to the plate is all part of your husband realizing the repercussions of his infidelity. Here is all this animosity towards this poor innocent baby who did nothing. Every baby deserves a loving mother and father. Everyone should behave in what is in the best interest of the child. The attitudes should go in eveyone's back pocket!
2007-06-30 13:13:36 · answer #8 · answered by Kay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband did a number on her. She's very angry. First she doesn't want anything from him ever. That's screams I hate you. Then she realizes that she needs help financially supporting their child so she files for child support. She's still angry with him so she makes fun of him where you can hear it. Nice... she's spitting at the peanut gallery now. She makes it known in open court that she doesn't want to be around him.... Anger.
Looks like you'll be dealing with some drama for the next 16 years.
2007-06-30 13:15:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say what comments she made to make fun of your husband, but, she is probably pretty angry that your husband is so irresponsible as to not pay child support for what appears to be his own child! He should have been doing that! So what if she said she didn't want anything from him - it is HIS responsibility! It is the decent thing to do.
Your husband sounds incredibly immature and irresponsible. He got her pregnant; if you play be prepared to pay. I would think you would have insisted he take responsibility for that baby! Shame on both of you!
I hope the DNA test shows he is not the father. The child deserves better!
2007-06-30 13:04:26 · answer #10 · answered by moonmother2000 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋