How can I anonymously expose a cheater wife to a husband?

Question

I have the choice to tell or not to tell. I would expect someone to tell me, or tell on me if that be the case, so I choose to tell. I have facts not just suspicion. I know it is true. Both husband and wife are my very close friends. The wife is the REPEAT offender here. I would like the husband to discover the facts for himself and make his own decision to stay or go, but he needs a little push to start looking to further investigate his wife's extracurricular activities. He stands to lose a lot of $$ in a divorce. I have asked her about her situation and she lies to me too that there is nothing going on. I happen to know the man she is hooking up with. He has a live in gf I do not know. The husband believes everything she says about anything. I thought about a call from a payphone, he would recognize my voice. A letter, but she may intercept. Anyone have any ideas?

Answer 1

I'm not going to get into the should you tell/shouldn't you tell or the anonymous/not anonymous debate here, since you've already clearly made up your mind on what you're going to do. I'll just answer the question that you specifically asked.

You were concerned about her intercepting a letter - I suppose she may intercept a letter at their home address, but if you know where he works you could send him a letter there.

You could try sending something via e-mail, if you have his e-mail address. (Obviously you'd want to create a separate e-mail account rather than use your own real one.)

If you had a friend you could confide in/trust to keep your anonymity, you could still contact him via phone - just have the other person do the talking so that your voice wasn't recognized.

There are drawbacks to each of these options, but at least the suggestions might get you thinking more creatively.

Answer 2

Expose A Cheater

Answer 3

Ok, this is a hard one....a lot of people are telling you to stay out of it, it isn't your business. I disagree! But, as far as telling you what to do I am kinda clueless. I do agree with you that if the situation was the other way around you would want your friend to tell you what was going on too. So I do think that somehow someway you need to let your friend know. Cheating is an afwul thing to do, and why is it that people do it? Because they are not satisfied in their current relationship? Because they are bored with their current relationship? Because they just want to have fun? Whatever the reason it is WRONG! If she was in any way bored or whatever with her current marriage/relationship she should have come clean with her husband and filed for a divorce. My only question is....does he really suspect her of having an affair? If he does, and you have the evidence to convict then I would say, you should let him know in some form. I do however, think that you should stay annonymous with your information ( for now at least ). He may doubt you and he may get angry with you. Give it to him annonymously and let him deal with it from there. Later on when things have settled down maybe you will want to consider letting him know. But feel out the waters first before jumping in.

Also, think of it this way...if you don't tell him not only are you going to feel guilty....what if he finds out all along that you knew and being such a great friend of his, you didn't tell him???? That may cause more problems than the original problem.

I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do here. Your probably going to need it, it isn't going to be easy either way.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

If you truly HAVE to do this, then do it this way.... Go to a pay phone across town. Get a piece of newspaper. (about 8 inches by 8 inches) and wad it up. Unwad the paper. (it will look all wrinkly) Get a rubber band. Place this paper over the mouthpiece of the phone holding it in place with the rubber band. Talk through it. This WILL disguise your voice along with making the call sound long distance. Now that I have explained HOW to do it, let me say this: Since both are your friends, why not just wait until he finds her out? He will, even if it takes him longer.

Answer 5

First of all, what are YOUR motives for exposing this philandering wife? If you are not doing it to reach a personal goal of being with him yourself, then why don't you go to the public library, open up an anonymous email account, and email him the details to his office or work email. But you will have to give him specific details in order for him to begin to doubt her stories to him. It's never good to meddle in other people's business, but if you insist on doing it, make sure YOU are right and not assuming anything yourself.

Answer 6

If you really know that this woman is cheating, then you are right to expose the truth. None of my "friends" told me that my husband was cheating, even though they knew...I had no clue (mommy at home taking care of 2 kids while he worked nights) I was so hurt and embarrassed, even his family knew! Do the husband a favor and tell him. Divorce is not the only answer in this situation, but he deserves the right to make his own choices, even if you loose the friendships, it would still be the right thing to do. Cheating is lying, and lying distorts life - give him a chance to know what his life is really like.

Answer 7

Exposing a cheater wife to her husband is not a noble undertaking. Finding out horrible things makes a person hurt terribly and just think, it would be due to your 'investigating spirit'!
If he finds out on his own, great. He's going to be hurt just as bad. Why do you have to be the one to guide him there?
Butt out. Just because it would be the kind thing to stay out of such a painful situation.

Answer 8

IF you know where he works and it is an office what about a letter sent there and if you have photo's of wife w/the other person add those in it also. If he does not work in office what about a registered letter only to him so that he is the one that can sign for it only if he is not home then he would have to pick it up at post office.BUT if he has a lot of money and could lose it in through the divorce he may just be turning the other cheek.

Answer 9

If you feel strongly about telling him then tell him...but first tell her you really know and how and explain that if she does not tell him you will. Give her the chance to smarten up and get honest with her husband.
If she doesn't and you want to tell him then don't do it anonymously just talk to him give him that much to where he doesn't hear it from a stranger. If he is a close friend and you are comfortable with telling him then why hide who you are?

Answer 10

The husband already knows! He is pretending that he does not, for whatever reasons. He prefers to let his wife continue to cheat in preference to the alternative of confronting her and risking whatever loss he might occur in that way.
He is the classic "cuckold", a man whose wife is having sex with other men. In some cases, these men do not know, and in others they do know and pretend that they do not. In a few cases, the husbands actually encourage their wives to meet with other men.
I knew of one case, in which a "friend" told the husband about his wife's cheating, and the husband answered "as long as I didn't have to admit that I knew, I could accept what she was doing, but now that you have told me I have to do something" The guy divorced his wife, even though he didn't want to, and would have preferred to stay married to her, even under the circumstance.
Take it from me! He already knows. Don't force his hand.