Whevever happened to the joy this town held---seems that every good tree has been felled---now the sun with it's satirical grin---burns my soul as each day begins----you can't say we didn't try---soI just called to say goodbye.
2007-06-30 04:29:21 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
i really like it because it ryhmes and it is GREAT
2007-07-01 01:31:04 · answer #1 · answered by alex h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it rhymes that's a plus!!! But it's not grammar correct.
Try something like this...
Whatever happened to the joy in this town,
Seems like every good tree has fallen down.
Now the sun with it's satirical grin,
Burns my soul as each day begins.
You can't say we didn't try,
So I called to say goodbye.
2007-06-30 12:02:43 · answer #2 · answered by witty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not too bad, although I kind of lose your meaning at the end. Is this regarding pollution and global warming? Sorry, I was never good at poetry.
2007-06-30 11:34:44 · answer #3 · answered by Who Knows??? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it!! It's cool that there are feelings but they're almost...subtle. Did you write it or get it from a book or something? Or the Net?
-Miss•Owl
2007-06-30 11:40:40 · answer #4 · answered by katybop. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very sad but truthful - nobody seems to care about anything anymore...
2007-06-30 11:43:41 · answer #5 · answered by tramps3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lame.
2007-06-30 14:34:24 · answer #6 · answered by Hussein Obama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...direct, thoughtful. Bye- bye ozone- layer.
2007-06-30 12:03:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really good..is it about a break-up??....because if it is, I really like it..
2007-06-30 16:26:38 · answer #8 · answered by Lali 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good i like it
2007-06-30 11:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by nisha10mabry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not hear as good as the other one... ;-)>
2007-06-30 12:35:39 · answer #10 · answered by TD Euwaite? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋