My best friend has asked me to take her to see a male friend from school she bumped into by chance two weeks ago after she had not seen him for 30 years. He re-married two days after their chance meeting but they have been in contact by telephone every day since meeting up. I am not sure of his intentions, but my friend is certainly enjoying the attention she is recieving! My friend has been married for 24 years and has 6 kids from 23 - 15 years old. She does not have a driving licence, meaning she cannot go to meet him independantly of her husband. So she has asked me to take her. She says her husband would not understand and would not want her to see her friend again as he is rather possessive. She is my best friend and has helped me after the death of my Mum. But I am also friends with her husband and family, although not as closely. What should I do?
2007-06-30 02:38:16 · 40 answers · asked by rose 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no, i wouldn't....what is she going to gain by seeing him? Nothing- except maybe a ruined marriage..don't contribute to that.... what excuse would I give her? Not sure- I guess I would just say that she shouldn't be seeing him - maybe then she will think twice about it.
2007-06-30 02:42:00 · answer #1 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know u want to do right by your friend i don't think you should do it as you are friends with the husband so you are now betraying another friend with deception.trust your judgement the friend just got married his intentions are unknown he may not be the guy she remembered from 30 years ago.your friend is looking for attention from her man which she is not receiving and she should talk to her husband or take control and do something with her husband without the kids ie;a dirty wkend in a nice hotel and try to do something different if he does not respond after a few tries maybe a counsellor and if all else fails ,she needs to decide were her marriage goes from there.whatever she does i hope it works out for the best
2007-07-07 04:40:38 · answer #2 · answered by holding f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends should, and do help friends. But, a friend doesn't help a person commit suicide, rob banks, or murder somebody. Tell your friend to call a cab, or let her side friend pick her up. Tell her you WON'T help her meet other men, unless she would have no objection to you doing the same IF her husband was seeing some other woman. Since you are also friends with her husband, in effect she is asking you to betray that friendship. Totally wrong to ask. Totally wrong to do as she asks. Try to talk to her, and point out that she is playing with fire, and could well destroy her marriage and family. Ask her if it would be OK, for her son's wife or girlfriend to secretly meet old flames.
2007-06-30 03:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a tough one. On one hand you don't want to be the helper who breaks up two marriages (your friends and the guys) and on the other hand she is your friend.
There might be a middle ground. You might consider giving her a ride, but on the condition that you stay with them the entire time. Go out to lunch, have some coffee, and then you bring her back. On the ride you can assess just how deep your friend is falling for this guy, and at that point you can calmly say "I am not comfortable with this. So I won't be giving you rides so you can hook up" or whatever is appropriate.
2007-06-30 02:47:00 · answer #4 · answered by Aron1968_30 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like a good idea. The friend she wants to meet just got married and your friend is married and has been for a very long time with 6 kids sounds to me like she's having a mid-life crisis and wants to try to start something that could end in disaster for everyone including you. I would tell her no.
2007-07-05 15:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take her!!!!
If ThIs is an innocent friendship, I am sure her hubby would like to make new Friends too.....
She is out for something to cheer her up, probably going through MID life crisis....
You would be blamed for everything if you take her....DON'T TAKE HER!!!
She sounds a selfish cow, to her own Children, her husband, and to her best Friend.........
'As long as she is happy who cares'?
Keep at arms length for when this does explode her husband may not see your dilemma as he may say but you knew/whatever, speak to her and state are you sure John/Fred/whoever would not mind her seeing an old Friend ?And maybe He too would like to meet the guy.
2007-06-30 02:54:08 · answer #6 · answered by susan8589 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to encourage your friend to be open about the situation with her husband. What you do in the dark shall come to light? When and if it does, you dont want to be caught in the middle. Whatever I would do, I would try to intervene. Sounds like your friend might have a slight case of the "mid life crisis". She might me upset at you, but probably will thank you in the end.
2007-07-06 16:37:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is think about what her husband is going to think when he finds out. Not only is his wife of 24 yrs sneaking around behind his back but his friend is helping her do it. You know in your heart that what she is doing is wrong. Why cause her husband and kids anymore grief by helping her?
2007-06-30 03:24:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you like playing with fire? Possessive, disgruntled husbands?
Be the best friend you can to her and remind her of the massive consequences of such actions. Remind her of what it would be like to look her six kids in the eyes and expect them to have respect for her. Remind her that the other man chose to marry someone else and not her. Remind yourself also of how much you value your 'friendships', safety and the respect of all who know you (eg. family).
I know who I feel sorry for here - the kids and the husband, oh and lets not forget the other guy's new wife.
To me, the answer to this one is obvious.
2007-06-30 03:04:47 · answer #9 · answered by lulu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tricky one it depends on how long you have been best mates with her I'd take her and if anything happens keep out of it,sometimes hubbies can be possesive and a bit cave man like and that is sad her hubby should trust her and let her breathe but if they get out of hand put your foot down and don't get involved again,you would take her too see a female friend so why not!
2007-06-30 02:45:08 · answer #10 · answered by MANC & PROUD 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it! You could get dragged into anything which might go wrong - and it probably wont be the last time she asks. It was kind of your friend to help you after your mum's death, but this isnt quite the same thing!
2007-06-30 02:44:40 · answer #11 · answered by Squirleyanne 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋