when i was 13 (im 16 now) this kid who was the same age as me kissed me and touched me innappropriatley.... he had done this four times and he told me that i wasnt pretty and stuff... was this molestation or sexual harrassment? i didnt like what he was doing but i couldnt stop him because he was bigger than me and he wouldnt let me go... i havent told my mom but my current boyfriend knows... so i have two questions actually, one: was i molested? and two: how do i tell my mom please help me!!
2007-06-30 01:56:00 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
yeah i read some of your comments... some of you are just plain mean... NO I DIDNT WANT HIM TO DO THAT TO ME, I DIDNT TELL BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID OF WHAT HE'D DO... I KNOW I DIDNT TELL BUT IM NOT DUMB TO LET HIM DO THAT TO ME.... STOP BEING SO FRIGGIN INCONSIDERATE
2007-06-30 02:09:23 · update #1
is it wrong that im kinda embarrassed of what happened?
2007-06-30 02:11:40 · update #2
okay to clairify this for some people... the only reason i couldnt get away from him was because we were at a school dance... we're not allowed to leave in the middle so its not like i could just call my mom to pick me up... so now your thinking why didnt you tell an adult, THATS EASIER SAID THAN DONE WHEN THE KID IS WATCHING YOU LIKE A HAWK! this kid is crazy its hard to tell someone that something like this happened to you unless it has happened to you... and to clairify about my boyfriend he hasnt said anything because i told him not to and hes a good boyfriend and respects my wishes... this is something I myself need to do, to clear my coincence about it
2007-06-30 02:18:32 · update #3
ok to clairfy a few more things... i still see him from time to time in school...it scares me just to walk by him.... he did this on four separate occasions thanks for the help!
2007-06-30 02:25:00 · update #4
Yes you were molested but you've left it way too long to do anything about it
2007-06-30 01:58:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You were molested and sexually harassed! Just be completly honest with your mom. Sit her down and tell her that you need her help. She is your mother and will do anything to help you. The only way to tell her is to tell her. If it will be easier, write he a letter and be around so that she can approach you after reading it. You need to talk to the police and take care of this ASAP....nobody has the right to do this to you and if you felt violated then it was wrong and he needs to understand that what he did is wrong. I know it is hard to talk to you parents about this kind of stuff, but just keep in mind that they were your age once and she will love you no matter what! Good luck.... Because you waited so long the police probably wont be able to charge him, but at least they will know in case he has done or tries to do this to someone else.
2007-06-30 09:00:39 · answer #2 · answered by helicopterjen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, what happened was a sexual assault. Even if you couldn't or didn't stop the act it was an assault. Even if it was 3 years ago, you need to tell your mom and report it. Chances are, you are not the only one he has done this too. He will continue this behavior in different ways until someone confronts him with the affects of his acts. Now that he is 16, there is nothing that says he isn't also using younger girls for his gratification. As far as telling your mom, let her know how scary and afraid you are of her judgment. Tell her what happened and whether or not you are able to confront him. Let her know that even now, it is on your mind and affecting you still. Ask her to contact a local woman's crisis center and find out what options you have, each state is different and counseling is available. You have done nothing wrong. Trust your mom. Her shock and anger will be normal reactions, it is because she loves you. She has her feelings, too. I sounds like you need her right now.....don't wait. Just tell. Good luck.
2007-06-30 09:09:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Where you probably can't LEGALLY do anything about it NOW, I think you need to have a heart to heart with your mom and have her help you deal with the emotional ramifications of what you went through. It was molestation and sexual harassment. Hindsight is 20/20. You should have told the FIRST time it happened, but you didn't, because of fear and I totally understand that.(Hell, I was TWENTY and didn't do sh*t about it, so I know exactly how you felt!!!!)
Keep your chin up. You are a stronger person for having survived.
Big hugs.
2007-06-30 09:03:51 · answer #4 · answered by MamiZorro2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, any time you are touched in a way you are not comfortable with...especially at your age, you should tell a trusting adult.. Like your mother! She won't or shouldn't be upset with you, I'm sure she could help you with this! I found out it's better to be honest with your parents...they are smarter than you think! They will help you no matter what has happened in your life! I'm very open with my kids and I would hope they would come to me with all there questions like this and not think they have to hide anything from me! Go talk to your Mom...It will be OK!
2007-06-30 09:08:11 · answer #5 · answered by Greg Z 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but it was three years ago. Are you still in contact with this kid? Also why did you let it happen again and again. Any adult would have put a quick stop to it.
Three years ago, over and done. Quit dwelling on it. That is self indulgent and self destructive. And now you are older and know how to deal with these kinds of things.
2007-06-30 09:13:40 · answer #6 · answered by ninebadthings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any time someone does something to you against your will it is molestation. Just tell your mom. She will understand. She may be able to help you through this too. Just be honest with her.
I had to tell my mom & dad that I was raped when I was 17. Not an easy task but your mom loves you & no matter what you do or what is done to you, she will still love you. Good luck sweetie.
2007-06-30 09:03:56 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably should tell your mom about it so she can at least help you emotionally/mentally but there is nothing you can do about it now as there is no evidence that it happened. You and the boy were 13, other people may view that as you two were just sexually curious teenagers and most importantly, you waited this long.
2007-06-30 09:15:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you were molested and I would tell your Mom right away. This boy needs to be dealt with so he doesn't think that what he did was OK. He will probably do it again to someone else and it might be worse next time.
2007-06-30 09:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by Funny Girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you said that he did it 4 times, was it all at the same time or different times. ??? And yes you need to tell your parents, I am not sure that you would call it being molested ot not but I think something wrong did happen to you and it was not right.
2007-06-30 09:21:24 · answer #10 · answered by sandy h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you were and you just tell her if you want to just come out and tell her that when i was thirteen mom this kid did this to me i was afraid to tell you and i was a fraid to stop him bc i was scared of what he would do to me. That kid that did that to might have gotten the same thing done to him by an adult so you may want to tell your mom.
2007-06-30 09:00:06 · answer #11 · answered by knowssignlanguage 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋