Is she a virgin?Had I mad a tragedy?

Question

First,I need to explain,I am in a poor,developing country,so we are traditional,we worship chastity from old ancient to now in the bone. In our country,at least 99% men still have the thick virgin bond,so have I.
The diva is 18 years old now,I am 24,and she was born in the same village with me,a poor,backward,inconvenient mountainous area,The distance between her blighty and mine is not over 500 metres. Her prarents and mine are all simpleminded farmers in one smeede(an administrant unit under village),of course they are very familiar in an old original rural village. Though my family is poor,I am fortunate,I am clever and diligent in study,later I entered the university and gained a diploma,because of high education,I found a nice occupation,white collar,with a nice income. But she is not so lucky,she educated after junior high school,then went to a plant of far city for manual working,with low wage.

In the labor's day last year I and the diva had a traditional blind date before engagement in the charge of woman matchmaker. We agreed with each other,In the New year Festival,we betrothed for marriage,I gave her family much money as monetary gifts, The money correspond to serveral incomes for a common people in our country, that meant she was my formal fiancee from then on. On March 24 this year,she followed me and went to my work city which belong to a big flourishing city in southern together.

The first night in my house,she didn't be will to sleep with me in one bed, she slept in the sofa in the hall,not bedroom(my house has only a central room with one sofa, a bedroom with one bed,it is rented). I think,perhaps she was conservative and fine, I can comprehend. Same thing happend the next night, and I can't bear on the 3rd night, I brought her to my bed forcibly and ignored her struggle. Since she is my fiancee,and we were in one bed,of course I wanna have sexual intercourse,but she still opposed try her hard,whatever I do, I can't undress her jupe and long trousers all the time,I failed,I gave in that night.

So I was thinking,"why did she do that? Is there any weird,secret evnets hidding behind her body? Is she not a virgin? And she want to wait for the menstruation to make love with me so that to kid me?" Therefore,I can't get sleep all the night. The 4th night she was little more merciful,and she was willing to unbrace her bras and let me touch her breasts,but still didn't want to ML with me. The anger in my heart accumulated for days bursted eventually,I scold her,"Get out,Since you do not make love with me, why promise my espousal?",She left the bed,sat on the sofa,wept,and said nothing.

The 5th night,she is still so obstinate and stalwart,but I changed my strategy,I did't demand just after we went bed,I suddenly took off all her clothings in the mid-night during her sleep-muddled status, I tried to insert my penis into her vagina,but it is little difficult. At last,I found some feeling,I think perhaps I had aimed the hole,ready to go deep into,but she suddenly pushed me away,So I failed again,I am bored,but have no choice but to sleep.

The 6th night,I performed the same story in the mid-night,this time she discarded defending,and I entered very successfully,I feel tight,dry in her
vagina,but still very comfortable, I moved up and down, later I gained the orgasm and end the intercourse. The next morning,while she was washing face,the
first important thing to me to do is to see whether she bleeded the blood under bedsheet,the result is very disappointed, I saw nothing.
Becuase of this reason, I am very sad all the day, I asked if she made love with any other boy ever,she declined to answer me,only cried. For can't get answer from her mouth,I began to suspect her past，she is not a chaste virgin,this is a insult to me.

The 6th night,I performed the same story in the mid-night,this time she discarded defending,and I entered very successfully,I feel tight,dry in her
vagina,but still very comfortable, I moved up and down, later I gained the orgasm and end the intercourse. The next morning,while she was washing face,the
first important thing to me to do is to see whether she bleeded the blood under bedsheet,the result is very disappointed, I saw nothing.
Becuase of this reason, I am very sad all the day, I asked if she made love with any other boy ever,she declined to answer me,only cried. For can't get answer from her mouth,I began to suspect her past，she is not a chaste virgin,this is a insult to me.

Due to this unpleasant case and her unsocial,incommunicative personality,I abandoned her,we teared up our marriage engagement, she went to that old plant to be a common manual woker in another city alone,and I still stayed in my work city. I remember I ever asked whether she will hate me,she said she will not,she also said she wanna be suicide,that made me very worry, In case she dead or disappeared,how can I face my parents and hers? And I dare not go my old home in the village again later. But fortunately she didn't do that.
At it happens,i.e. that our broken day is April 1, Subsequently, she send a sms message to me,"why god so fool me?",and I sent too,"Is you fool me or I fool you on earth?"

Her elder sister-in-law later told me in MSN(a IM software),she was in that factory too,she know abort her young sister-in-law very much,she is a
conservative，restrained girl,and I mistook her. While heared about this,I am astonished, I am regret,but I know the spilt water cannot be gathered up again,
I have the dignity of man.
Is she a virgin? Had I mad a tragedy?

Answer 1

Educated your are not because to have a woman is to love one for any reason and then she will you.
I'm guessing you'll not be with another for a long long time.

Answer 2

That is a really long story!
I think you are so selfish. You were thinking about you all the time and never about your fiance. As you said your traditions ask to stay virgin until marriage and you didn't respect that. You took her like a toy with no feelings and just used her.
That is also a felony.
About the blood not all the girls bleed during sex when they are virgins. Sometimes they have no Hymen from birth and sometimes this is call elastic and is not going to break until they have a baby.
You should stop thinking about you and act like an educated person like you claim to be and look for her and apologize

Answer 3

Yours is a pretty long story, though in more advanced society where gals r not strictly virgin till marriage, it will be difficult to understand your predicament. I understand cz I belong to same type conservative society. I think , if you like her for her qualities, and so you love her after passing so much time with her, you should ignore the possibility or suspicion of her not being a virgo. Water split is really one, you have used wrong proverb. It really means you both love eachother & such event will not affect your relationship. Maybe her not bleeding in 1st intercourse was cz her hymen was ruptured due to some other reason like masturbation physical activity or sports, and now that you made luv with her, she really is not a virgin. Are you doing justice with her, think, if you are the first man in her life and now you abandon her, how will she feel? Maybe she decided that her commiting suicide will bring bad name to her family (and how u would have felt, had she dun it?) so she cancelled the idea and she will live with a burden in heart, which is more tough then committing suicide. I mean you forgive her for not bleeding at her first act with you, giving her the benefit of doubt, rather than punishing her for a crime proly she didn't commit. You will never regret, I am sure.
PS- witchnanny (and some others too), he lives in a society which gives more rights to males. It's society's fault, if at all. What's use and justification of abusing him like that?

Answer 4

Your life together should not begin with rape!

If you make her want you, and are nice to her, she'll pay you back very well in the long run.

Women like to be dominated, but not violently. Show her you're in charge, but listen to her, find out what she does and doesn't want.

Talk to her! The first rule of marriage is communication!

Edit: I just read the rest of the updates.

Not every girl bleeds the first time! And a woman is always shy the first time. If she had rushed into your bed, you would have more reason to believe that you were not her first.

It is a far more intimate experience for a girl to go to bed with a man, and her first time can be very scary.

I honestly think you paid no attention to her wants and feelings, and you don't deserve to be with her.

Answer 5

To cut the long story short, I'd say that her reject has nothing to do with whether she is a virgin or not. As you said, you come from a conservative country, and maybe she doesn't want to do it until you get married since she's your finance.

You need to be nice to her and to find a way to talk to her and see why she had rejected you. I'm sure that once you understand her reason, you won't blame her... take it one step at a time. And let me tell you, if your relationship with her starts with no trust, it won't go far and you won't have a happy ending.

So trust her, talk to her gently... and see what you can do. A nice word can get you far more than violence!


Updated:
Oh gosh! I just read your updates and you are such a horrible person to be doing this to her! She is a conservative straight girl who does not want to lose her virginity until marriage because according to you, it's not accepted. So you raped her and made her lose her virginity to you and made her feel bad and cry! I can't believe you!!! You are so horrible!!! How can you do this to your future wife? You don't deserve such a nice sweet girl like her. She gave you the most precious thing to her and you gave her dis-trust! Oh, poor girl! Poor girl!

Losing virginity does not necessarily bring blood with it. Please keep this in your mind. You are NOT educated unlike you claim! Please google this topic and read, read, and read and educate yourself!!! Don't trash the girls future just because you're not educated enough! I know that if you talk about her in such a conservative society, you'll trash her future!!!

Ohhhhhhhhhh - you got me all nervous about her!

All you care about is YOU, YOU, and YOU! Did you think about her? What's scaring her? What she wants? I really don't blame her for not wanting to sleep with you if you're so horrible. That poor girl must've been so scared!

Answer 6

You say you are clever but I am afraid you are very stupid. You are trying to force someone into sexual intercourse without marriage. She is obviously a virgin who does NOT want intercourse without marriage. If you want a wife respect her wishes, no sex before marriage. If you want a whore go out and pay for it. This girl should dump you and find someone who will appreciate her. Please don't think a little education makes you a better person. It does not!! It will help you along the way but compassion and humanity counts for a lot more. Having read your later additions to your question you are a total bastard and should not be allowed near any woman. You had an extremely nice girl to marry, you ruined her life by raping her and then you drove her away. You should be ashamed of yourself and I hope everyone who knows you tells everyone how horrible you are and do not let anyone's daughter near you!!!!! You should rot in hell.

Answer 7

What the hell is wrong with you!! You raped the poor woman you sick perverted pig!! You obviously have no respect for a woman, you should be ashamed of yourself!! You should be thrown in jail! Your question made me feel ill to the core and seriously want to vomit!! That is NO way to treat a woman or get a wife! What the hell are they teaching you in your little village!
A woman is not property and when a woman says NO she means NO!! Don't like it then go **** yourself!!

Answer 8

You shouldn't of forced her. She would've come to you in good time. You hurt her feelings and now she isn't a virgin and will have problems with all future men. You basicly raped her and I don't blame her for leaving. I am on her side. You made a big mistake.

Answer 9

You cant just assume that she isnt a virgin, there are lots of things that could have happend to her in order for her not to bleed. It is very easy for her to break while falling, its only tissuse, and it easily breakable.

Answer 10

it shouldnt of mattered if she was a virgin or not. if you loved each other that was a matter between you and her and nobody esle. you handled yourself foolishly and probably destroyed her forever. i didnt bleed. i rode horses as a young child and broke my hymen that way. physical activity can do this to a girl, not just intercourse.