I was unpacking some things at my boyfriends last night and came across some of my old wedding pictures. I showed them to my boyfriend because he wanted to see them awhile ago.
A couple of minutes later, I went back into the same room as him and asked if he could see us getting married. We used to talk about it when we first met but haven't in a long time. I then asked if he ever wanted to get married again. (He's been divorced 2 times). He said "To the right person."
This offended me and I asked him what I am to him then. He asked if I think I'm the right person and I said no. He then said "why do you say that?"
He said I read into things too much, I'm insecure and he loves me. I don't know what to think by his comments though. And honestly, I don't know if I ever want to get married again.
2007-06-29 23:36:56 · 12 answers · asked by torn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Then why make a mountain out of a molehill? You both have been around, you have found a certain amount of happiness and companionship together. Don't ask questions about marriage again, if it happens it happens.
2007-06-30 01:07:21 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you arent into marriage then why should he be You've both acceepted the situation of an implied committed relationship but without any legal or societal markers showing that commitment So you wanted it that way If that is not how you want it you should have a talk w.. yourself first Then if you have some decision you should share it w him You both have the option to leave or stay with no official obligations. There are obviously downsides to that in terms of feeling secure....Invest in yourself more than relying on that relationship for happiness I would say Then you will feel confident saying "Yeah I know what you mean..If I find the right one I might get married too."
2007-06-30 06:50:39 · answer #2 · answered by FoudaFaFa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was just trying to tell you, in a way, that he isnt thinking about marriage right now. Having been divorced two times as he has, will make you hesitate when a female asks you about marriage. I mean, i bet you he has tons of stories justifying him not getting married. Now you come along and you are talking marriage. He feels inadequate about his marital failures and has decided that he better take it slow when it comes to choosing a marriage partner.
shoot, he might even be against marrying anyways, but since he knows that women are sensitive about marriage, he just told you " to the right person"
anyways, i choose that answer when i dont want people to think that i completely dismiss the idea of marriage as a waste of time and money, but also to let them know that i am not ready for it yet.
2007-06-30 06:44:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you asked a loaded question and it appears that neither one of you wish to get married again...at least not to eachother. I mean you were standing right there and he said, "to the right person"...if he meant you he would have said ...yes, but only to you! This was his way of telling you, wether it was intentional or not, that he does not see marriage in the future with you. On the other hand, you reinforced his thinking by saying no as well. You shouldnt be angry because you said the same thing, in a different way, to him!
2007-06-30 06:42:24 · answer #4 · answered by helicopterjen 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, love is a choice. When both people consciously, mutually "choose" each other. And are ever bound by that choice. When you say "I DO". Just as God chose us, and He is faithful. He will never leave us or forsake us. It's about true love. Which, God is true love. And about us 1st being faithful to Him. And even after marriage, it is about us being faithful to God, not our mate. If we are faithful to God, we will be faithful to our mate, to our job, etc. If we have sex before/outside of marriage, we are already unfaithful. Because sex is part of the "being one" with our mate, and is to be only within the covenant of marriage. Otherwise, there is NO security, whatsoever.
We say "I DO', and for better or for worse, but then when the "worse" comes we bail out. When we should remain faithful to God. We made a vow. But then we wanna take it back. But that is of the devil. To say yes, then say no. And that is why so many people gbecome discouraged and lose interest in marriage.
It's called divided devotion, and conflict of interest. Torn in between. Back and forth. In and out. Unfaithful. And especially if sex is involved. Cause it is part of the covenant. Sex is a form (symbol) of marriage itself. So when we have sex, we are really kinda marrying that person. But if out of marriage, it only jacks our hearts up. Cuz we give our trust and security and what is sacred to us, and thus mess our heart and devotions all up.
That is why the world is getting all outta control. And once anyone has been intimate with one person, and then another, in and out, back and forth, it's never the same again! Because of the "more than one". How can we belong to sooo many?? And men are visual. Once a man sees more than one female image (nude), he's already messed up. How can one woman ever compare to all those images in a man's head of "other" women? How can he ever agian then be only devoted and faithful to just "one"? How can hge fully commit to just one? He can't. Till he burns all those images of other women, and previous devotions, and learns to be faithful.
Love is a choice.
The "I DO" is what holds it together and keeps it together. All else.. just blowing in the wind. No security. No faithfulness. No love, just mixed feelings, divided devotions, conflict of interest, and a whole lotta confusement and hurt and broken trust.
2007-06-30 07:03:21 · answer #5 · answered by SOULCRY 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay? I guess you are both on the same page. You don't think you want to get married again, and he doesn't want to marry you. Sounds like he would be better off finding someone who was more secure with themselves.
2007-06-30 07:03:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sound like you guys are already married!!! Now pretend to get a divorce and act like you want to work things out. ---Be Golden---
2007-06-30 06:57:40 · answer #7 · answered by IOWA HAWKEYES 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear..does that mean he is being with you until the right person does come along?? then what happens he dumps you?
You need to clear the air on this one with him
2007-06-30 07:07:27 · answer #8 · answered by Mama~peapod 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa. I dont even get why you are upset. Hes obviously thinking about marriage with you. Or is this what is upsetting you? If you dont want to get married again and he does, you need to tell him.
2007-06-30 06:48:58 · answer #9 · answered by elijahjaye 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why are you so worried about him marrying you, if you dont want to get married either????
2007-06-30 06:41:15 · answer #10 · answered by scd 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋