my boyfriend and i have been dating 4 about 8 months i love him sooo much i want us to get married one day have kids and a really good future together but i have secong thought because he treats me bad.....he will hit me sometimes call me a ***** and whore but i still love hom and want to be with him...stupid i know but i cant help who i love...he tells me he loves me but this isnt love its lust i know he has a problem and i have tried to change him but i cant im soooo scared to loose him but i dont want to d this naymore i cant b treated bad he physically and verbally abuses me my friends and family call me stupid but i guess his words and sexual intercourses get me loving him more. i just dont know what to do..i cry when we argue and when he treats me bad but im soo tired of bein treated bad and hurting but i love him sooo much what should i do????
2007-06-29 22:17:40 · 21 answers · asked by 1989star 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
LEAVE HIM NOW.
He loves controlling you. You'll never change him. Of course he tells you he loves you and he'll stop. How else can he get you back to beat you again?
Have kids with him? Why? To give him more targets to abuse?
Don't worry about him, shortly after you dump him, he'll find someone else to beat up.
Leave him and get into counseling to find out why you feel you "love him so much" after only eight months and so much abuse.
You know you need to leave, you wouldn't have posted this question. You wrote you're having second thoughts about this, you're tired of it all, you don't want to do this anymore.
Surround yourself with your friends and family for support, call him on the phone and say "it's over, don't call me anymore, don't email me, don't come over, don't contact me any way ever again." then slam down the phone.
and just in case, get an order of protection against him too.
Good Luck, hon.
2007-06-29 22:32:23 · answer #1 · answered by Mira N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that it is hard to leave someone you love but you really need to get out of that relationship as soon as possible. You will never be able to change someone. Also if you have only been dating for 8 months and he is already hitting you, just imagine what he will be doing to you in 8 years, if he hasn't killed you already 8 years from now. I know right now you don't want to believe that he could do something like that, but love is blind.
You need to leave him and try to move on. You will find true love someday, don't rush it. When you are with a man who loves you he will not ever hit you.
Edited- Brandon Jones, just want to let you know you sound like a great guy, I hope she e-mails you, maybe you can teach her how a real man treats a woman.
2007-06-29 22:32:10 · answer #2 · answered by Mom22 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIM
i wont even read ur whole thing...I swear if I saw a guy hit a female i would be all over them. Get out of this relationship no matter how much u think you love him. He will just get worse down the road, and you don't need that. Getting out of this relationship as fast as possible will save you from the repeating cycle...how a girl/guy will be abused in a relationship (verbally/physically) they usually end up in the same kind of relationship when that one doesn't work. your mind starts thinking that's the only relationship you are good enough to have, and you deserve better...anyone in an abusive relationship deserves better.
Your too young to love, I am too young to love...earliest age to even think about marriage should be 23 hun. Save your money first and have a good time. You want to be financially ready for children or a marriage, as well as mentally prepared.
E-mail me if you need help or questions with this.
Good luck
2007-06-29 22:30:22 · answer #3 · answered by brandon jones 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its worth all that pain, physically and emotionally! If HE loves you, he would treat you like a princess... you shouldn't be treated any less than that!!!!!
I think you should find another guy that'll make you happy and who will treat you like a princess... Every women deserves that right! and its only been 8 months....There are ppl who have been together longer who don't even think about marriage with that person...
There are a lot more decent guys out there just waiting for a chance to treat a girl like a princess that she is... please don't stick around with him... if you do get married and have kids, imagine how he would treat your kids!
No man should call HIS woman a ***** or a whore! That's just plain wrong...
2007-06-29 22:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by Minnie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out girl!! Don't ever stay with someone who hits you and calls you things like a whore. You deserve better. Every woman does. There is a reason domestic violence is a crime, and your boyfriend is a criminal. Do you really love him or do you just need someone to love? How can you love someone who doesn't love you? He may say he loves you but if he is hitting you he DOES NOT love you and does not respect you and you should not be with someone like that! Speak to a counsellor or helpline. There is a guy out there that you will love that will treat you right and he can't get to you with this jerk in the way!
2007-06-29 22:24:23 · answer #5 · answered by r_u_b_y_c 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need some time alone and you need to remember that you deserved someone that respect you and treat you well.
the sex make you addict to him but think this way, if he really love you then he won't hit you or call you a ******. that's not love, he might think he love you but he doesn't.
In many ways, we often think we love the person but we don't. we addict or we attached the person so strong because we want what we want.
true love doesn't mean possess the person. more over, you need to love yourself too. YOu need to ask yourself, is this is kind of life you want to live, get beat up every day, someday he might kill you when he beat you too hard.
I saw pictures of home violence, don't think that won't happend to you, it is very common and the pictures that woman got beat up and some pregnant woman even got killed with the baby inside of them., who in the mind won't do that, they loss it.
You have to be STRONG. you're not strong enough and I was like that. You have to know what is the limit for love and what is not , and what is right and what is wrong.
you can not have children when you are this way, your children is going to grow up watch his father beat up his mom and the statistic show that children who have abused problem in the family grow up become phsyically abusive.
the abuser, your boyfriend won't change unless he want to change truly and sometimes they never change. You can not and will not able to change him. trust me.
the only person you have full control in this world is your self, even your parents can not tell you what to do, how can you change a man just beat you up.
If he love you, he won't hurt you.
if he love you, he won't call you a *****
that's not love,
that is a way for him to release his anger in his life.
You have more in life than just love, is this only thing you want in life, even so, at least with someone good and respect you...or at last, not beating you up.
You must wake up and appreicated that you're a person and you don't need or deserved this type of treatment.
you don't need him. walk away.
2007-06-29 22:29:57 · answer #6 · answered by Gooch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You going to have to get that I love him soooo much out of you and off your mind. He certainly doesn't love you or he would have no reason to treat you the way he does. It's just going to get worse. It will Never get better, until you start liking to be treated like that. Then it will still get worse. Wise up. Stop being Stupid. Throw his A** out and stretch awhile and then go get a good guy.
2007-06-29 22:26:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of that relationship NOW! It'll only get worse when you are married. Loving you shouldn't come with a fist and insults in any relationship from man/woman. You know it's not right or what you want.
2007-06-29 23:20:08 · answer #8 · answered by Brown'n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I only had to read 1/2 your?
You grew up I an abusive home do you want the same 4 your kids when u have them.
Didn't think so leave the jack ***
u don't deserve that your not a ***** and whore
2007-06-29 22:25:03 · answer #9 · answered by steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the abusive sod and get some self-respect.
I do not mean to be nasty. Understand - if he hit you once, he WILL do it again and it will only get worse and worse.
You do not deserve to be cussed at. You do not deserve being hit. You do not deserve to be disrespected.YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT. Find a nice bot who will respect you and treat you well.
2007-06-29 22:26:25 · answer #10 · answered by Chris R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋