He goes everynight with his guy friends, i have a feeling he is cheating on me, or maybe doing drugs behind my back, he keeps coming home with all red eyes and just wants to go to sleep. How do i ask him if he is cheating or doing drugs without him getting mad at me. I dont want to hear "let him do drugs", he stopped when we got together and he seemed really proud of himself, now i dont know if i shoudl be proud or pissed off, if he still is doing them.
2007-06-29 19:08:09 · 14 answers · asked by wavemaster1821 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
talk to him. Tell him that you wont be mad, but you just want to know the truth if he's been doing drugs. But if you think it's cheating...you might follow him one night...if you are good at that sort of thing. If it were me, i'd sit him down and tell him how i felt about the whole thing.
2007-06-29 19:11:37 · answer #1 · answered by Lynn 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he didn't get treatment, he is most likely doing it again. Help your self out, call Narcotics Anonymous and ask them to direct you to the nearest Co-dependent meeting. They can give you some great info on the whole situation. Knowledge is the best weapon.
You could also use reverse tactics. Find something else to do. Don't sit at home alone while he goes out. Become very distant and unconcerned. Don't call around for him, don't look for him. Don't be mean, but don't be clingy either. If you can hold out long enough, he will come around to find out why you are not insecure any longer. He will become the insecure one. It does work.
Make that call to Narcotics Anonymous, the meetings are free. You can't beat that and they have the best help.
2007-06-30 02:45:09 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the man you are planning to spend the rest of your life with, you should be able to ask him anything, and he should be able to tell you anything - both without the worry of getting mad and breaking up. Also, if you are even considering the possibility that he could be cheating on you, then why enter into a marriage full of doubt? Marriage doesn't make the worrying go away. If you think he is back to using drugs, then ask him - flat out. If he denies it, then you have a HUGE decision to make - either believe him and let the issue drop or not believe him and walk away. You can't badger the man, look for clues, or second guess yourself forever. You should enter into a marriage full of trust, confidence and love - but never full of doubt and low expectations. Good Luck.
2007-06-30 02:21:29 · answer #3 · answered by nicole roberts 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
And why do you wanna marry a guy who you would be suspicious that he's cheating on you and doing drugs to start off with? I don't get you... really, I don't.
Are you going to live your life like this all the way? I suggest that you don't.
Tell him what's been on your mind calmly, that you're worried about yourself and for his health as well. Let him know that you wanna trust him all the way but he's giving you the reason to doubt your own heart and you don't want to regret or get hurt. I'm sure then he will put more effort in making you feel at ease. ^^
2007-06-30 02:34:29 · answer #4 · answered by joshi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LOOK at the warning signs! As hard as it is DON'T fool yourself! We always seem to HOPE for the best. Always follow our first minds that's usually the best. If we love them we will ask regardless of what the situation is remember this is the person we are going to spend the rest of our life with and commit ourselves to communication is important , not saying what we really feel going into the relationship is only creating problems in the long run Take marriage seriously . We do not have to accept things that makes us uncomfortable communication is the key to success. speak now or forever hold your peace when i say we I speak as a woman tired of submitting to OTHERS!
2007-06-30 02:28:19 · answer #5 · answered by ljjmjd3 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You relationship is over, and you need to move on. If you think he is cheating on you, then the trust is gone. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. Without it the relationship is doomed. Face the facts here, you no longer trust him, and you really never will. So dump him and find another guy, someone who will treat you in the manner you think is right. Plenty of nice guys out there now go find you one.
2007-06-30 02:21:11 · answer #6 · answered by Mike R 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If his eyes are red, that is a clear sign. Do not be in denial. Anyway, he is cheating on you either way. Ignoring your girl for drugs is just as bad.
2007-06-30 02:16:17 · answer #7 · answered by whatever 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Doesn't sound like you trust him very much.
Why are you wasting your energy worrying about this? You can't make decisions for him, and he's not going to change.
So make some decisions for yourself. Either tolerate the behaviors, or set yourself free....it's Your call.....
2007-06-30 06:38:02 · answer #8 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is not a good relationship. You deserve better. Talk to him about this, ask for more personal relaxation time. You need to be more important.
If he can't meet your needs on this, the relationship can't work. So try to fix it now.
2007-06-30 02:12:24 · answer #9 · answered by UnderwaterTomato 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You won't know what he's up to until he slips up.
You need to rethink your relationship. You already don't trust him, and that's not going to improve after you tie the knot. Additionally, I think he's out with his friends because he's freaking out about losing his freedom. He's not ready to get married, sweetie. Sorry. :(
2007-06-30 02:16:13 · answer #10 · answered by 1M9 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋