My girlfriend is selfish ,she's also a taker more than a giver, she has the worst mood swings, and she's never wrong. I now ,break up with her right. She just told me she's pregnant. Any advice on how i should with handle this or maybe the best way to handle a situation like this one. Should i stay or should i go?
2007-06-29 19:06:31 · 17 answers · asked by Nas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
staying isn't good for you, her or the baby. none of you need a stressful, unhappy relationship. standing by her doesn't mean staying with her.
2007-06-29 19:16:22 · answer #1 · answered by TLC 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go to your doctor and get tested to find out if you really are the father. If you were using protection then most likely she isn't pregnant. But there is always the possibility. Protection isn't always 100%.
If you weren't using protection, then you can start worrying. You may have to wait nine months to find out. Not exactly sure how that works. But you can find that out from you doc.
All said and done, if you are the father of the baby that doesn't mean you have to marry her. She sounds like she's unstable in regardings to her mood swings. Just me on this, she needs to see a professional about the mood swings. It's very treatable and she'll be a happier person. She not only makes you misserable, but will do the same to others along with herself.
I'm not saying this is a reason for not marrying her. You both sound very young (could be wrong) and it takes money to take care of a babies needs. It also takes a lot of patience and sacrifice. If you're not willing to take on those kinds of responsibilities, then I would have to say no.
Altimately the decision is up to you. The babies welfare comes first before anything else.
What every happens ... the best of luck.
2007-06-30 03:04:17 · answer #2 · answered by Eagles Fly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking this question NOW that she is pregnant? Why did you stay with this woman in the first place long enough to get her pregnant if you knew that you didn't want to be with her? Okay, the past can't be undone....
Well, you wouldn't be doing the kid any favors by staying with someone you can't stand. More kids are screwed up by 2 parents that constantly fight and are not in love than you can imagine! All of that tension will rub off on your child, and he/she won't be better for it. The best thing you can do is to step up to the plate and be a good father for this child, but I'd think twice about marrying this woman just because you feel obligated to. You'll need to maintain a friendship with her for the sake of your child, and will need to communicate regularly. This can get tricky, depending on how cooperative your girlfriend is. Hopefully she is mature enough to work it out with you. I would come clean about how you feel about her, but make it clear to her that you are there to support her and will be by her side to help her raise the child, you just won't be romanticly involved.
If you feel like you love her and can work with her on your issues together, then by all means marry her.
Good luck!
2007-06-30 03:25:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lord, you really need advise on this? Come on man do some thinking here. Is she pregnant? Doubt it had many friends get scammed like this back into relationships. Have her take a test at your home, and have her show you the results. Odds are she is full of it.
If she is, then freaking man up. You chose to have sex, and by doing so chose what could happen. So take it in stride, and man up and take care of your kid. (Disclaimer: I would have a blood test done on the child before signing any papers). Love and cheerish the child but dump the mother. She sounds like a whack job.
2007-06-30 02:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by Mike R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If marriage is not an option, then support her through the pregnancy. (Last 8 weeks are rough.)
Discuss a shared parenting plan. Go online and look at the shared parenting planners. (A calendar should serve the same purpose.) Decide at what age it would be appropriate for the baby to begin alternating parents.
Start shopping for: 2 cribs, 2 carseats, 2 changing tables, etc....
Wish you luck...and Congratulations!
2007-06-30 06:42:32 · answer #5 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
I think I can understand your problem....
Dear! I m too a girl and being a girl I would say u should carry on with this relationship...... But this is a life time decision you have to spend your whole life with the the girl you chose to marry with....
So! talk to your girlfriend about your problem because each and every person have to adjust a bit continue a relationship........... AS "TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT A BIG DEAL BUT TO MAINTAIN IT WITH JOY IS A BIG DEAL"
All the very best for your decision..... and don't worry much have a Chill Pill...........
2007-06-30 02:31:18 · answer #6 · answered by Mk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Well so far all you told us was about her..what about you?..do you love her?..maybe one thing to consider maybe she was acting crazy cause she is preggo..she was having the symptoms of pregnancy. I know during my pregnancies i was like a bi polar maniac (not really but you know)..one minute i was laughing the next i was crying for no reason.
I would try and stick it out especially if you love her. Someday you two may laugh about it. And stay with her because you truly love her not just for the baby.
If you don't stick it out then at least be there for the pregnancy and baby.
2007-06-30 02:16:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1). Has she been tested, and you know for sure she is?
2). If so, what type of childhood would your son / daughter have.
Are you willing to compromise, to make a happy home for your child or would you talk to your ex-girlfriend about keeping a open friendship for the sake of your child's mental health?
2007-06-30 02:18:10 · answer #8 · answered by BlackWidow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your mind is already made up??
It all sounds a little bit convenient for her to be preggers... but if she is then you should definitly be there during the pregnancy, and for you child, but it you are unhappy, then you should not go back to her! You will only make yourself more depressed, and down.
Thats no way to live your life.
Good luck
2007-06-30 02:19:06 · answer #9 · answered by insane_blue_eyez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, have you talked to her about any of this. Talk to her about how she feels. Then tell her it's your turn to talk, tell her that you have to get a few things off your chest and dont want feedback right away. Let her know how you feel. Also women are wrong 50% of the time, the rest your wrong, just remember that.
2007-06-30 02:12:06 · answer #10 · answered by wavemaster1821 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
stay with her, talk to her....tell her how you feel, and if the talking didnt help threaten her and maybe that would work but you should stay with her because she's pregnant or you can break up with her but stay with the baby still take care of your child
2007-06-30 02:11:17 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋