We hardly have sex, however when we do it's fantastic, but I can't decide if the sex is really good or am I just desperate.
2007-06-29 18:11:17 · 13 answers · asked by Sharon W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How frequent is "hardly"? If it's 1-5 or more times per week.... welcome to America. If it's less than biweekly or monthly, then you have an issue (unless you're >75 years old). It doesn't kill a marriage... at least not at the outset, but will thru time as eidenced in daily life and from our couples sesions in our practice (so those that answered about how it's not important are greatly mistaken).
Look for the root first-- low sex drive on his part, sex is boring, depression on one partner's part, needs being met elsewhere or in another way, emotional bond is lacking or there is emotional damage in the relationship, the questions are endless. But an answer that's realistic is critical before a decision is made about what do with it.
Things to do:
** Talk first-- discuss issue-- is it any of the things discussed above or something else
** see clinician/sex therapist or basic therapist
** get involved in couples therapy soon
** if there is no underlying psychological cause, move exploring physical conditions
Whatever you do, don't let it linger and erode your marriage, act quickly and decisively.
2007-06-29 18:16:56 · answer #1 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If when you have sex and it's fantastic then that's all it is sex. There is no relationship or marriage without communication and love. If you want to find ways to communicate talk about his day at work or what the kids did at school. Talk to him about how you are feeling and what you want to do to save your marriage because you think it's falling apart. If he is willing to work at it find someone to talk to and as you do that try to make your sex life more interesting by roll playing so you can have sex more often. Wear something nice when he comes through the door with a bubble bath, wine, candles and strawberries. Sometimes pretend your the maid and he's the boss or that he's the plumber coming to fix your pipes and flirt with him. You can even catch him in the shower and have your way with him you can have sex anytime you want but you both have to willing participates. Have fun you can also learn something new by watching porno together and learn different positions. You have to try some of the things he like to have wonderful and long-lasting sex and a healthy marriage.
2007-06-30 01:26:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Really? Have you talked to him about his libido? Maybe he isn't in need as often as you are. If that's the case there are some really good products on the market to help! Most adult stores will help you make a good decision. You will be able to please yourself best so that's not really a fair indicator but, it will help in your decision. I don't care what anyone says, that part of a relationship is really important and if he's not willing to work on it by taking certain libido drugs or reading books then you may need to consider your options but, never feel like you're left with him pleasing you cause sweety you have two hands of your own.
2007-06-30 01:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by Jmariel7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are many way to spice up your sex life and entice you husband try some new thing put on something sexy while you are cooking his favorite meal , have candles lit when he comes home and some slow jams playing if this stuff fails then try talking to him about and and see if he's willing to make it a point to have sex more often....they say that couples that have sex at least 4 times a week have happier marriages ...that's a way to start the conversation.
good luck
2007-06-30 01:27:04 · answer #4 · answered by im whats up! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When did sex equal happiness? And desperation definitely doesn't equal up to good sex. Maybe there are some underlying problems that need to be sorted out between you two. Hope you work it out.
2007-06-30 01:18:45 · answer #5 · answered by Kimberley E 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't know your age. Married couples have more things on their plates, from mortgage to kids, and the age thing tends to drive down the desires. If you measure good sex equal to good marriage, you are on the wrong track.
2007-06-30 01:30:42 · answer #6 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont sweat the small stuff -each couple is different-if your sex life is fantastic then enjoy it when it happens.
2007-06-30 01:14:27 · answer #7 · answered by dove2002 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you basing the happiness of your marriage on your sex life???? big no no!
2007-06-30 01:15:45 · answer #8 · answered by Gina R 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Plan a romantic vacation
2007-06-30 01:20:33 · answer #9 · answered by Avatar Tantra 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Marriage isn't based on sex, perhaps that is your mistake.
2007-06-30 01:14:38 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋