Should I take my nursing baby with me to the wedding I'm in?

Question

My 5 1/2 month old nurses most of the time with about 2 solid meals a day. He nurses to sleep at night and sleeps for about 4 hours till he is ready to eat then fall asleep while nursing. However, next week I'm in a wedding of my best friend thats 3-hours away. My in laws are flying into town and are set to watch him for two nights but I'm worried he won't be okay. I tried leaving tonight for the bachelorette party but was back less than 2-hours later to nurse my hystarical baby who wouldn't take a bottle to sleep as my husband wasn't able to comfort him.

If I take him with me, I will be constantly worried about him and risk getting spit up on my bridesmaid dress or what not. Also, my inlaws never get to see him and would be stuck 3 hours away. But, if I leave him with my inlaws I'm worried about another hysterical episode and me having to drive back in 3 hours during the wedding. HELP me please! Is there anyone that has gone through a similar situation? Thanks and God Bl

Answer 1

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this question (and am amazed at how many people think there is one... though they don't seem to agree on what it is). I think that either way could work, you're just going to have to decide which is going to be easier for you. Here are what I see as the pros and cons of each:

Take him with you:
You may upset your in-laws, but that really shouldn't be your primary concern. You need to do what's best/easiest for the baby and for you. If you can bring the baby & your in-laws, that sounds like a great solution as long as everyone agrees (including both your in-laws and the bride and groom - since they'll likely be added guests they hadn't planned on). Bringing him with you will make the baby/feeding situation easier, but it will add more difficulty to your bridesmaid responsibilities. You may end up focusing on your baby more than you "should." It sounds like you could definitely use a "night off". In addition, it is the BRIDE's big day and as her bridesmaid, you should make sure that you're able to do your duties as such. (Within reason... if your baby needs to eat, your first duty is to make sure he's fed. But if someone else can fill that role for the evening, even better.) I would definitely talk to the bride if this is the option you go with. Also, keep in mind that babies sometimes have a habit of stealing the show... which is not likely what the bride is hoping for on HER day.

Leaving him behind: I wouldn't worry AT ALL about nipple confusion. If your son is 5 1/2 months old, I think he's probably got the nursing thing down pretty well at this point. And while I thoroughly enjoyed taking a mom's night out my first few months, if you're just going to be stressed and worried about your son the whole time, it's not really a night off. If you do leave him behind
- I would talk about it with your in-laws about what they can expect: namely that he may not be very receptive to the bottle.
- Unless absolutely necessary, I wouldn't leave the wedding to go home to him. You've agreed to be a bridesmaid, you should fulfill that obligation. (Unless you've talked to the bride and she's REALLY ok with you leaving.) He's really not going to starve. He may give your in-laws a difficult time, but he'll be fine.
- Have your husband start giving him a bottle of formula a day now so that he's used to it by the wedding.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. But in the end I think you have to find a solution that you're comfortable with. In the end, I think you need to be mindful of the bride & groom on their big day, but ultimately you need to do what works best for your baby and for you.

Answer 2

What it comes down to him is if you will take him to the wedding or not. Based on the fact that you are breast feeding him I can understand what your concern is. I mean even if you pump and then put the milk in the refrigerator/freezer for the baby he may get nipple envy. Nipple envy means that the baby is so used to nursing you that because you want the baby to nurse it will confuse him when he uses a nipple. I tis nice to be consistent then the baby does not have to replensih. You seem to be very confused and concerned about your baby being breast fed. I find it to be true that if you are struggling a long time then it gets to the point that you should look for the best interest of your child. Breast feeding has been proven that it is the most healthiest thing for your baby. I can also see how you are concerned about the wedding. The thing is when you are in the wedding someone needs to be holding and taking care of the baby. You cannot take time for the baby until the wedding is over. I would be sooo concerend about breast feeding the baby that the only thing I could do is bring the baby. The baby isn't going to be far away from your in laws or gone along time. They should understand if they don't maybe one or all of your in laws could come along and watch the baby for that breif time you will be in the wedding. The best thing to do is not get in the way of your values and just do the right thing. Bring your baby to the wedding and maybe there will be close family can hold the baby until the baby is done. Great luck and it sounds like you are a wonderful Mother.

Answer 3

I nursed two babies and have my third nursling (he's two weeks old already!) I would take him with you but take a sitter too. Have him stay with your inlaws in a room apart from the wedding and if he freaks, then you can pop in and help. As for the milk/spit up issue. Many diaper bags come with a nice changing pad that has a plastic-type side. Put that against you and then put your usual burp rags on it as you normally would. Your friend's wedding is special and you don't want to miss it nor do you want your baby to be an issue for her. Neither should you expect your baby to deal with your absence without reaction. I say take the baby and a sitter with you. If you can't do that, warn your in-laws about his potential reaction and trust that they didn't kill your husband, its a good bet that your baby would make it through the day. Best wishes.

Answer 4

I think the best thing to do is to take your son with you ,First because he is nursing and second u will be 3 hours away for two nights. It will be very hard for you because u will not have lots of fun while thinking about your baby needing you and your milk , your breast will be swilling the whole time you are there it will not stop, your baby will need you and your milk no matter what and you can take your in lows with you its just 3 hours away they can watch him while u are gone and your son will be close to you so when he needs a feed its no trouble. I went throw it all and believe me its hard to leave your baby very away for 2 nights from you.

Answer 5

Can you have your inlaws go to the place where the wedding is and maybe babysit him close to where you will be? You could figure out how to nurse him right before the wedding, and right after and they could take care of a happy baby while you are a bridesmaid. Everyone would win especially the baby and he is the most important person here, right? (I don't mean they should take the baby into the wedding, just in a bridesroom, or a hall not being used or a cafe nearby and you can call them between bridesmaid duties.)

Answer 6

I personally would never leave my child without his mother, 3 hours away. If it was 30 mins away maybe it would be different (but I still don't think I could or would leave him).

He is breast feeding, are you okay with the idea of when you come home he will no longer wish to breast feed because you left him and he had to survive so he took the bottle? Are you okay with him crying inconsolably for days? It isn't just the breast milk it is also you and his comfort. He isn't ready for you to leave him.

I would take him with me, and bring the in-laws along. They can stay in a hotel and you can feed and hug your baby whenever you need to, with the in-laws there to help you out.

But really, weddings are family gatherings, and having a baby shouldn't be a reason not to have your family with you. Would you ask her to leave her baby at home so she could be your bridesmaid?

And don't worry about the dress, that is what blankets, nappy wipes, and tide spot wash is for!

Answer 7

Im 32 weeks pregnant and Im making plans breast feeding and it somewhat is something I even have been thinking approximately. i don't think of i ought to drink and then breast feed to my newborn. i think of Ive long previous see you later why not flow a touch longer yet then i think of if temptation somewhat does take my fancy then i might use the pump notwithstanding they do say to not bottle feed for the 1st eleven weeks while breast feeding because of the fact they get lazy on the bottle as this is greater common for them to feed of the bottle then the breast. the two way each Mummy will make the wonderful selection for there infants. sturdy luck and congratulations on the toddler and the marriage.

Answer 8

Since you have child care - use it. Try expressing milk into a bottle and you feed him from the bottle - he may fuss but he will learn to take it - I found the Nuk silicone nipple (the thumb shaped one) easiest for the baby to accept and still not reject the breast later. You can save yourself some stress (and drive time) by renting a local hotel room and having the in-laws sit there or if the bride lives locally see if they can use her home if it is a budget concern. There is also the :leakage issue" be sure to use plastic backed pads and make sure to put them in fresh just before the ceremony - then after pictures - express and refrigerate the milk (a portable cooler with ice will work) then see if your in-laws can pop in to pick it up. It is quite a juggling act to nurse and be a bridesmaid but with careful planning it can go smoothly. Good Luck!

Answer 9

personally, i would take not only my child, but someone with me to help take care of the baby while i was busy. I nurse my boy, and i feel that it is selfish of me to not feed him when he needs it. You could chance hurting your supply of milk if you dont take him to feed him, or at least pump regularly while you are away. On the other hand, your baby wont let himself starve to death. eventually he will take the bottle or some extra solid meals.

Answer 10

DEAR MISS

PLEASE TAKE HIM WITH YOU HE IS YOUR FAMILY TO

AND IF ANY ONE CAN NOT ARE WILL NOT

UNDERSTAND THAT THEN SHAME ON THEM IS WHAT I

HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS MATTER AT HAND AND

DEAR I AM ALSO TIRED OF PEOPLE SAYING A MOTHER

CAN NOT BREAST FEED THERE CHILD OUT IN THE

OPEN PUBLIC CHILDREN BABY,S AND KIDS HAVE TO

EAT TO I JUST READ A QUESTION WHERE THEY

WANTED A NICE LADY TO TAKE HER BABY IN THE

LADY,S REST ROOM AND BREAST FEED HIM ARE HER

LET THE GROWN UP TAKE THERE LUNCH IN THERE

AND EAT IT AND SEE HOW THAT LIKE IT OK I AM JUST

TRYING TO MAKE A POINT HERE ON YAHOO ANSWERS

I AM NOT TRYING TO BE CRUDE RUDE HEART LESS

HURT FULL ARE ANY THING ALL PERSONS ON HERE

KNOW THAT ABOUT ME BY NOW ARE SHOULD I

WOULD NOT HURT ANY ONES FILLINGS JUST FOR FUN

ARE KICKS I DO NOT THINK HURT ALL PERSONS ON

YAHOO ANSWERS ARE FUN ARE FUNNY I DO NOT GO

FOR THAT SO SORRY

GOOD QUESTION DEAR

THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU TO AND YOUR FAMILY

TAKE CARE