Back about 5 years ago I met a man on the opposite side of the country from me. We fell in love and I was going to move out there but he got scared, etc. Needless to say I didn't move. We kept in touch a little but hadn't seen each other since this past week at a work conference. Now here we are both married, him for almost 3 yrs, me 2 yrs. Seeing him was as if we picked up where we left off 5 yrs ago. I was able to ask the "why's" and we both admitted that we wished I had moved out there. Neither one of us are happy in the sexual part of our marriages. We rekindled old flames and now here is where I am at odds. I guess I feel like if two people have such strong feelings and chemisty why shouldn't we be together? We still love each other. Do we ignore it and go back to our lives as if all is normal? It was all I could do to be at home today and see my husband as I wished he was this other man. Advice?
2007-06-29 16:18:37 · 10 answers · asked by Stacy J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are no children involved in either marriage....
2007-06-29 16:37:33 · update #1
When you got married to your current spouses you made a commitment. Hopefully you didn't just get married for sex.
You need to stop talking to this other guy, and do what you can to rekindle your relationship to your husband. He needs to do the same with his wife.
If the two of you don't even make an attempt at your current relationships, there will always be something that will bother you. Likely you will not make it in a relationship together if you both feel that marriage is something that you just stop doing as soon as something else comes your way.
2007-06-29 16:24:54 · answer #1 · answered by mj69catz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer. You have already crossed that line with the other man and its too late to turn back now. Just like you said you was with your husband all day and wished he was the other man. Thats probably not going to go away. Its unfortunate that now its going to be much more complicated for the two of you to pursue a relationship together, since you would both have to end marriages.... but you both want to be together. So by staying married to the people you are currently with, wouldn't be fair to anybody. Just make sure he is positive this time before you go breaking up your marriage. Good luck to you!
2007-06-29 16:22:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do either of you have children? How committed were you to the marriage before this man from the past showed up? Not very I suspect. If the two of you were to throw away your respective vows and get together, what assurance do you have that the two of you can form a lasting commitment? You have a lot of questions to answer to yourself - and to your husband.
Personally I believe that the addition of children into the equation makes a big difference.
I suggest counseling to figure out exactly what you want.
2007-06-29 16:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by Pamela G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a easy question to answer - not such an easy answer to live with.
You married your husband knowing this man was out there - YOU married him. He married his wife.
You need to walk , no RUN away from him and forget it.
If you want to get a divorce, don't make it about someone else, You shouldn't jump from one man to another. If you divorced, you should definately spend some time alone and then if he is available, go for it.
2007-06-29 16:24:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, at the very least you owe your husband the truth. You should really tell him what happened and how you're feeling - I know it's scary, but you made a commitment to him, so you owe him this at the very least. After you two have talked, THEN see how you're feeling. You may realize after talking to him that you really don't want to lose him, or he may decide for you that the marriage is over. Either way, clue him in.
2007-06-29 16:25:23 · answer #5 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that is weird i dont' know what quite to say. He could be lying and then he could be serious. i am not sure but some mend have big ideas and dont' come thorugh also
2007-07-03 13:09:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should respect your marriage and yourself and stay away from this man.
You can fix the sexual part of your marriage....but you can't fix cheating.
2007-06-29 16:25:41 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You been used. If you two wanted to be be together and it was meant to be,Dah?
2007-06-29 16:46:06 · answer #8 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did you marry then?
marriage isnt disposable!
remember those vows you took? KEEP them
2007-06-29 16:22:11 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should both leave your spouses adn find happiness with each other.
2007-06-29 16:21:44 · answer #10 · answered by princessfionafantasy 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋