I have been married now almost 10 years and we still are not where most ppl are in there marraige....mu husband believes that he is the only one who can do what he wants to and he believes that he doesn't have to help me financially I mean I literally have to borrow the money I need from him and pay him back...........he doesn't have any respect for me or us as a family.......I know that I am tired and ready for a new begginning should I talk to him AGAIN or let it go, I have everything I could want for myself and my kids but no happiness........please help
2007-06-29 16:09:01 · 20 answers · asked by ms attitude 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you tried counseling?
Not so much for your marriage but for yourself?
Some marriages aren't meant to be saved.
2007-06-29 16:15:02 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and have a long talk with
your husband and explain to him again of how you
feel about your situation. He being your husband
should understand and adjust. If he does not then
suggest marriage counseling for the both of you
so you will have an open discussion and both
sides are heard. IF he refuses then you need to
think what you can do to make you happy, and you
can get professional help to help you out.
Happiness is an important aspect of someone's
life and without it life can be miserable. Hopefully
after you talk to your husband and explain how un-
happy you are about the situation , he will change,
and if he truly loves and cares about you and his
children, he will do what is necessary to make all
happy. Good luck.
2007-06-29 23:18:52 · answer #2 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl think about this, a marriage is not 50/50 like your marriage is, it is 100% together. You really don't owe him an explanation, you never borrowed that from him. So just be up front , about your unhappiness, and make the plans to get out of it. Your marriage is going nowhere. So you can make it on your own, until the RIGHT man comes along.
2007-06-29 23:15:51 · answer #3 · answered by catira1953 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess you seriously need to talk. As a husband and wife there should be a give and take relationship. It is not fair for you to be treated this way.
Stand up for what you believe is right. Gender equality applies in all walks of life and relationships. Not because he is the man that he has an absolute blanket right to everything.
2007-06-29 23:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by attyjudz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is an ***, sorry to say but true. I say kick him out. Let him see what it's like with out you. I mean come on he should totally be there in any financial matter cause that's what the man role is. Especially when you have kids. I don't understand. Take him to court and sue him. The courts will totally be on your side anyway! Good Luck.... Really you deserve better
2007-06-29 23:41:58 · answer #5 · answered by valrasmv<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you get divorced, you won't have to pay back all the money he will have to pay for support.
This will make me sound like a jerk, but is your husband from another country? This sounds like a cultural difference to me. If that is the case, then there's probably not much you can do. He was raised to believe that he is superior and I don't think anything can change his mind.
Give it a try though, It might be worth it.
2007-06-29 23:19:25 · answer #6 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am going thru a lousy marriage and still trying to figure out to let it go or not too! but i stayed on cos of my kids. though i am not happy but my kids are happy with their father.
you see if you can still bear with his lousy attitude for sake of kids then talk to him again.honestly if you cant bear the pain anymore and ensure the kids will be taken care when you get a job then just let it go pls!!!
it is just not acceptable when u have to borrow money and return it to him when it is his responsible as a husband to bear any cash to you as you r a stay home mom!!my hubby is not generous giving me but he would still give when i asked and need not return it to him!!
i feel the best way is to get a job if you can get your relative to help to take care of the kids for you. that is the best solution at the moment.plan wisely and not hurting the children at thye same time.good luck
2007-06-29 23:38:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have everything you could want and you know you are ready for a new beginning and also tried everything already, then move on i.e. leave him and start a new life, but stay unmarried for as long as you can cuz most people change after marriage and things doesn't always/mostly get better with a new spouse (men/women no different)
2007-06-29 23:16:32 · answer #8 · answered by PikC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is selfish and immature, and really doesn't love u like u deserve to be loved. talk to him one last time and if u see no changes u may need to end this marriage, and start fresh. without respect u really have nothing at all to keep the relationship together with. your suppose to be loved and cherished, and he should want to be financially supportive, instead of selfish with his family. there is something not right with this man.
2007-06-29 23:18:49 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right. That is NO marriage. Borrow money!?!?!?!?Dear LORD.
I would tell him what you want and tell him what you need. You teach people how to treat you, so you have set a precedent that he can do this.
You have to make it clear that you want things changed and if they don't - you have to cut your losses and go.
Happiness is sooooooooo important for everyone. You and your kiddos deserve it.
2007-06-29 23:16:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the most important thing in life is happiness. Without it, you're nothing. Why have everything,and not be happy about it. I think you may want to stat looking to move out of this relationship. Be happy...you'll feel better.
2007-06-29 23:17:46 · answer #11 · answered by Mrs. Ma'am 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋