Please can someone help?

Question

Hi folks, I need advice please.

To cut a very long story short, I'm far too oversensitive. If I hear on the news that someone has been raped, I can't forget about it or stop dwelling on it - it literally hurts me. I still remember horrific cases that I saw on the news 15 years ago, and whenever I hear of another case it all just stores up in my head.

When I was about 13, for no apparent reason I developed this horrible fear that it would happen to me. This will sound seriously weird, but for years I knew it was going to happen to my little sister at some point, and it did.

I'm sure that all this is connected to some horrible things my father did to me when I was a kid. (I only started remembering this a few years back, after he died, and I still haven't got all the memories out. When I realised, my fear started to make sense.)

I tried suicide when I was about 16, and would never try that again, but I don't know how to cope with the sh*t that goes on in this world.

I recently heard about a girl of 18 who couldn't cope with this and ended up killing herself. I broke down when I heard it.

I don't want to live my life like this, my view is so limited by this that I often see the negative in everything. I've tried counselling but it didn't help me at all - I can't force the memories out.

Does anyone else understand what i mean?

amercfighter - I tell myself all those things (apart from the alcohol bit, been there, done that, got out) on a daily basis. I don't want to live like this, as I said, but I don't know how to break out of it. Hence the question!

Thanks for the advice. x

Oh, and amercfighter - I thought I was weak for years, it's only the last couple of years I've realised how string I really am. You haven't a clue so keep your pathetic insults to yourself.

'strong', I meant, not 'string' - lol

Answer 1

I understand I honestly do. You are not abnormal in anyway. Shrinks seem to think that finding the cause of psycological problems somehow simply cures them as I am sure you appreciate this isn't necessarily the case.

My advice is to realise how truly beautiful you are. You are such a nice person that the suffering of people you don't even know can cause you pain.

You have had a hard time in the past but guess what we don't live in the past or the future we live .... now .. dang its just gone. We all have little precious time so try and remember this.

Stop thinking and feel... Look around you and recognise the beauty in all you see, touch, taste and hear because one day you will be gone and you may not get another chance.

My the forces that be open your eyes and grant you love!

Answer 2

You have had some good advice and some not so good, and that is life. Some of the advice you will take on board while other advice you will dismiss. Before you do either ask yourself why!
Are you doing it because it appeals to you or it is the easy option?
Are you rejecting advice because it sound too much hard work?
I'm not going to tell you what to do, you need to work that out for yourself. We are put on this earth to learn, grow and develop into the best person we can be, so sh*t is good for you in that it gives you an opportunity to learn from it, which will help you grow and develop as a person. But we also have freewill, so you don't have to grow if you don't want to.
I'm old so I have made hundreds of mistakes and shovelled tons of sh*t, and slowly over the years I've got to the stage where I am happy with myself and it wouldn't matter to me if everyone in the word died and I was the only one left alive, in fact I would have a great time doing what I wanted with no one to tell me what I can and can't do.
If you can get to the stage where you are happy with yourself and can just shrug your shoulders when sh*t happens, then you will find that your problems will just fade away.
Live for today, love those that want it and stick your finger up to the rest of the world is an attitude that can get you through most situations.
Whatever you do, best of luck.
Malcolm

Answer 3

What i see is a very remorsful person, sad for all the others and not the main person, you, taking in so much from papers, TV, and hear say is not doing you any good in fact it is ruining your life.
You are very mixed up and need to stop reading bad things or seeing them on TV as this Phobia will never leave you.
The people in the world some are very sad humans and will never change this and yes it hurts me also to hear awful things that have happened, I done a coures and this course was living for the now, it works so you cannot mend the past, you cannot sort the future as its not arrived yet so think of the Now of whats happing now in your life and you will see your mind will be changed and have a happier life.

Answer 4

Personally I always try to be positive and accentuate the former. If you can try focus on happy events open your mind embrace all the good things in your life I am sure there are some!

Good luck you can only be responsible for yourself you have no control over others actions so don't bother yourself with them.

Do not let your insecurities ruin your life learn to think positive I get sad when I see and hear about bad things but you move on you are a third party everyone has bad thoughts but that's all they are.

Don't beat yourself up over it live your life to the full and cherish every day.

You must enjoy something in your life concentrate on what you enjoy.

Hope you sort yourself out good luck.

Answer 5

Okay, the time has come to be serious.

I am so so sorry that you have had to go through all of this.

But any time I come across stories like this, I am absolutely astounded at how strong women like you are!

Perhaps just posting this is the start of something really really good. As everyone has said, counselling is availible of course. For the longest time, I was struggling with some post traumatic stress type issues. It took me 2 years, but I finally went and it just felt good to tell someone what I was feeling.

Do what you need to do to get help. But do know just how strong I think you are so far.

Answer 6

I'm not a professional life counselor or anything. I'm not a certified therapist, but I am a horror writer for 20 years, a horror movie buff, horror novels, etc. I know a little bit about fear. You need to control your fear. You need to be somewhere or with someone that makes you feel completely safe. There's even some medicines and foods that will make you feel fear. Seriously. When you take a different medicine or cut that food out of your diet you don't feel afraid anymore. Sometimes you feel fear, your heart beats faster, and you don't even know what it is exactly you fear, you just feel fear. Similar to panic attacks. Are there any people in your life that make you feel 100% safe to be around? Are there any places you feel safe? I feel if you overcome your fear you will be okay. Confront your fears, overcome your fears. Not all at once, that's too traumatic, but slowly. Face you fears, conquer your demons. Bravery, courage. You can still be scared inside but your actions show you have supressed your fear and act in a fearless manner despite fear.

Answer 7

I understand what you mean and I have seen it before. You see the bad in the world, but you don't remember any of the good. I really think you should try counseling and therapy again and again until you find someone who could help you. You need to develop a therapeutic relationship with someone who can turn this way of thinking around. Good luck.

Answer 8

the best thing 2 do is to surround yourself with positive stimuli & positive people. Keep yourself busy focusing on all the positive things in life: love, family, friends, etc...read love novels and other books that are fun & positive. When you watch news avoid those consisting short knee jerk stories that briefly tell you all of the negative things in life (robberies, killings, rapes, castrophies). And keep yourself around your friends so that you can talk about what bothers you instead of harboring them; or try keeping a journal to write peoms or thoughts so that you can vent/reflect on the paper and not in your head

Answer 9

Yes I understand what you are saying. I think some type of nerve pill may calm you down somewhat. They do help and there is nothing wrong in taking them. Secondly I feel you should see someone regarding your fears, a pastor, doctor... someone on those lines to help you through this. You will be truly grateful for their help. Then you can move on forward in your life understanding the horrible things your Dad did to you, accepting them and moving on.
I do wish you the very best. I also would suggest you pray to our maker and ask him to heal you and remove this burden from you. He will walk this through with you.
God Bless You.

Answer 10

try hypnotherapy to find out if something really did happen to you or what triggered this fear and when, then you can try to piece your life back together. its something that happens in this world and you will become desensitised eventually, maybe you could try some self defence classes to make yourself feel safer, and remember most people are good its just a small hand full of people in this world who have went down the wrong path compared to the amount of good people