are we equal?

Question

My husband work full time and i work full time.. he thinks because he is the bread winner and makes more money then i do he doesn't have to help around the house.. I am doing it all the lawn, garbage. kids everything.. I just don't think it's fair, he said most marriage are like this.. so tell me ? is this fair?

Answer 1

Sharing, that's what it is all about. Show your hus-
band this. I as a husband help around the house,
to keep it clean, dust , vacuum, clean, mop, iron,
wash clothes, cook, and take care of the lawn,
and my wife also shares in these chores, and we
both worked and raised 5 children, so being marr-
ied is sharing any and all responsibilities that is
needed in maintaining . Good luck.

Answer 2

Wrong. Today marriaged people are each more time aware it s a society of two to make both the job. Now that women work too, much reason. I see my own son sharing with his wife caring of the child, change diapers, feed him. take him to the doc., and so on. But they did from the very beginning.
So it s no fair what he does and say. Find a way to make him understand. But first you must be absolutely sure you are right.
And once you talk this, don t be afraid to ask him to do things at home. You must be stronger,

Answer 3

Not fair at all! When you entered your marriage, you guys became one, not "one gets to pick up all of the responsibilities around the house while the other lounges because their pay check is bigger." I can understand that he works, but it doesn't take much effort to put the laundry into the dyer, or take out the trash. He must have been a momma's boy if this is the case. Being he makes more money, try refering to his check as the checks that go towards the bills. You checks are for play. Being you are the one doing more work, you and only you get to "play". Take care.

Answer 4

This is between the two of you. My marriage is the same way, but it's because I want to dote on my husband.

And you really are only giving us your side of the story. Does he work long hours, travel a lot, etc.?

Regardless, if it's a problem for you, then you two will just have to talk it out until you reach an agreement and/or understanding.

Okay, I'm editing a little - I'm not saying that what's right for my relationship is right for your relationship, I'm saying that it's different for everyone, so the people here really can't anwer this for you. It's between you and your husband. And secondly, to those who take issue with a woman mowing the lawn - that sounds an awful lot like gender roles. Is that the equality that women have been fighting for? I do it because I want to, because I was raised solely by my father (how's THAT for fair? how's THAT for role reversal?), who taught me that as a woman, I can do anything just as well as or better than a man. I do it because I'm just as capable as he is.

Now then. I'm climbing off my soap box...

Answer 5

No. Tell him he is BSing you.

Most men do the heavy lifting and chores in the house: mowing the lawn, take out the garbage, vacuum (don't expect perfect), paint, drill holes and put shelves up, climb up the roofs, etc. The overlaps are usually related to the kids. Most men don't mind changing diapers or giving baths. I used to drive the kids to school and pick them up because it is closer.

BTW. If you ever make more money than he, he is the kind that will die of embarrassment.

Answer 6

if you started your marriage allowing him to think he's the "bread winner", then it looks like you did not divide home chores at that time. Now, he's got so used to the idea, it'd be hard to change his thinking - fair or not isn't the issue. Most marriages of yore were like this, indeed! But NOT anymore, women are/will no longer be the "maid", we all expect he shares in home and child care as well, cuz we are all also contributing to the "double income"

Answer 7

You know I don't think this if fair, but I don't know how to tell you to deal with it. One time my husband commented that he had to do everything around the house when I was wondering if he know how to open the dishwasher!!! I reacted by not doing anything around the house for a while. I know it is disgusting, but it really helped my husband realize everything I do!!!

Answer 8

Since he thinks that his work outside the home is equal, tell him you want to trade. Tell him you'd like to work outside the home, and he can work inside the home like you do now.

OR, have him do your job on a full day on the weekend...or for a full weekend. Ask him to then detail out for you how he feels his job outside the home is equal....

He can't compete is my point to all this! He needs to stop his arrogance and realize what a HUGE job you have, and why in the heck wouldn't he want to help you?

Ask him if you were drowning in a river, would he help you? When he says yes, ask him why? when he says cause I love you. Then, say, since you love me, I am asking you to help out more around the house! I need your help. I didn't sign up to do this all alone.

Answer 9

Honey, I don't care if he does work long hours. You shouldn't have to cut the lawn. Most men want to cut their own lawns. Maggie wants to cater to her husband and that's fine until her body get tired from over doing things just to make him happy and them he still run off. At any rate this is NOT fair. He knows this and you need to put your foot down.

Answer 10

Fair is not the question here. What is the next right thing is. Sounds like you have your hands full. I take it his mama did everything for him ? Would definitely need more info to figure this one out.