Might I ask what's wrong with quiet people?

Question

I'm a very quiet, and shy person, and for some reason most people don't favour a quiet person. I really don't see what the problem is. Shy people hardly affect anyone's life, I would think! A few of my boyfriend's family friends told him that they don't like me because I'm quiet. I can't help it, it's who I am! Plus, it's people like them that make me scared of judgment so they're obviously not helping the problem they have with me. I open up to friends a lot, but in general, I'm just a quiet person. Is that bad?

Greatly looking forward to some input!

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong with quiet people...nothing at all. I thinks its a misunderstanding when someone doesn't like a quiet person. Some that are quiet tend to come off rude, mean or stuck up when it's really not meant that way. Quietness is just read wrong, that's all. And maybe some dumb people are better at responding negatively verses actually having to start up a conversation or be the one to break the "silence". It's all part of society, a few bunch of people don't like what they don't understand. It's called prejudice.

Answer 2

Remember that whenever someone judges you, they are really judging themselves and find themselves lacking. They are uncomfortable with themselves, but rather than accept that, they turn it outward against you. Those with the most insecurities will be the ones who react strongest to their own unease.

I think a lot of it is the product of media hyper-activity nowadays. People chat on the phone, IM or email constantly. I think that we forget when we interact with people in real life the difference between dialogue and filling the air with sound. The immediacy from the phone/IM/Email also allows us to believe that something is wrong if we're not getting immediate feedback.

I was very quiet in my teens, too. Some people thought I was being a typical, sullen, depressed teenager, but really I was either shy or had nothing to add to the current conversation due to ignorance or having heard it said already.

I learned as a adult and in business to give better visual and verbal cues to express my interest in what the other person was saying. Sometimes that was all it was - I would nod and say, "I agree" as an adult, where as a teenager I'd just maintain silent eye contact, thinking it was apparent I cared what the speaker said.

Answer 3

No, its not bad. I am not shy, but since I was a child I have always been very quiet As an adult, people ask me why I am so quiet? I choose to be quiet on purpose. Since I was a child, I have always had this thing. I tend to feel peoples emotions when I am around them. Its weird, I will go into a room filled with people, and all kinds of emotional feelings coming from the people of that room will hit me. Individually, if I am standing next to someone, or if I walk by someone, I will get a feeling of sadness, depression, and frustration, anxiety or joy (that's rare)


Peace!

Answer 4

I'm quiet too, and though I don't have problem speaking in front of a class, I'm really shy if I see someone I like at a party for example.
What I've picked up from other people is they think we quiet people think we're above them or something. When it's really that we're afraid inside and shy. So many times I've looked back and thought of what I should have said when i stayed quiet.
I don't know a solution, but I prefer quiet people over talkative. And it's harder when you're always wishing you hadn't said something.

Answer 5

I don't think there's a problem with being quiet, that's who you are.I guess it may seem like it's a bad thing because everyone talks too much, or always has something to say.I think quietness is a good quality.You'll never get blamed for spreading rumors or blamed a big mouth.
People will judge you, but that's because they're people.They will always talk.You shouldn't worry about that.
-*I'm also a quiet person, I just want to tell you, you're not alone ☺

Answer 6

I love shy people, I find that they make the best listeners and friends.
In some way they do seem quite intimidating though. Knowing that they don't fill every moment with constant jabber makes me wonder what they've seen, learned, and heard over the years =)

Of course you affect someones life though, it doesn't always have to be in a bad way. Don't put yourself down just because you enjoy the occasional silence, it shows self control for one! <3

Answer 7

Unfortunately, people tend to pre-judge quiet people as not very bright. They think that if you were intelligent, you would speak up more. Also there is an element of distrust: "It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for."

Answer 8

The quiet ones are usually more crazy in bed! And like sex more often! So YES I do like the quiet ones!

Answer 9

im young so i don't know if what i say matters much but there is nothing wrong with quiet people. as long as you are polite. like saying hi and actually trying to engage in conversation rather than trying to avoid it. im very shy too so yea. bye!

Answer 10

of course not!! thats just who you are. if someone doesn't like you for it, it isn't your fault. i have a friend a lot like you. she just doesn't like talking to strangers. but she is the funnest person ever if you just spent time with her somewhere where she is comfortable.

if you are like that, i would say the next time your boyfriend's family says that invite them to your house. or anywhere else that is more comfortable for you. soon enough they'll see the real you.