Do you think that men and women should tell their intended of past love affairs, my wife says there was no one

Question

She says that but she is as fit as they come and believe me other Guys do stare. So, should she tell me the truth and should I spill the beans about my past.

Answer 1

Dear RedmonkI see no reason why a couple should not reveal their past. I see the problem in judgement of what had happened I can also see the old green jealousy poking his head around the corner. Personally I would not ask directly, the norm would be better to let it develop during a conversation and asking questions to understand a lot more, but would you like what you hear that is the decision you should be asking. If a person feels comfortable talking about their past there is not a problem. I would be careful about "spilling the beans on your past" as I sense you have a lot more to divulge than she may be able to handle. But remember it is not the past you should be looking at, but the future

Answer 2

Just because other men stare does not mean she slept around.

My husband and I were very open about our past, but the conversation is really a dud. I mean, what can you really say? I loved it when he did this and you don't? Kind of strange, really, since that almost feels like you bring a third person (or fifth, tenth - as the case may be).

We both realized without saying it, that the only thing that matters is that we're both the best we ever found, and tell each other that. Often I'm grateful he learned with other women since I enjoy the benefits of that education, and I hope I do the same for him.

If the conversation doesn't solve a problem, why would you want to know? It seems the more important issue is either that you're convinced she's lying, or you feel guilty about your past. I would focus on why you feel you need to know.

Answer 3

if your wife has told you something, the very fact that you've taken those vows together is basis enough to give her the benefit of the doubt. It may be hard to believe but maybe there was no one b4 u. Maybe u were the one she was waitin 4 coz she knew u were out there somewhere. I'm not one to brag but i know i'm attractive and guys try to approach me all the time and yet ive only been in a few relationships because ive been very selective and i know what i'm looking for. Maybe this is also true for your wife, perhaps she doesnt pop her cork 4 everyman she sees. It is quite rare to find an attractive woman who has had no past love affairs but rare does not been impossible. On the other hand if she is not telling you the truth perhaps her past is too painfull to talk about or she feels ashamed at the amount of men she's been with and doesnt want to run the risk of u looking at her differently. Although i'm sure u wouldnt care if shed slept with an entire rugby team, she might just feel so insecure about it that its easier to lie. Whatever the case maybe, if she felt comfortable enough to tell you then she would, maybe this is just something that she cannot share with you. Perhaps if you told her about your past she might feel more able to talk to u about hers but that tactic isn't always 100% effective...to be honest its not that big a deal, as long as you're open with eachother about everything else then i'd leave it. And tell your wife u love her xx

Answer 4

Well if your her first then technically when you first had sex with her she would have been a virgin, but if shes lying to you then that's hardly the basis for a healthy marriage. I wouldn't spill the beans if you have slept with a lot of women in the past as that may disgust her, I'm not saying you should lie to her but rather be economical with the truth.

Answer 5

All that should matter is what happens from the time you are together forward. Bringing up past relationships/lovers is only going to cause hurt and jealous feelings. It will solve nothing. Other guys looking is no big deal, looking is a normal thing, as long as it stops there. When someone stops looking its usually guilt from doing more than just looking

Answer 6

Ya'll didn't talk about this before you got married?

For me, being honest about past relationships, etc. is a part of getting to know that person and a part of who they are. I would be weary of someone who wouldn't tell me about their past relationships and partners.

And I think if the person has already had sex with other people, then I think it is really important to ask about it. And talk about whether or not their partners had STDs, if safe sex was practiced, and if they had ever been tested. I am not saying need to go into the details of their sex lives, but at least find out the answers to those questions.

Answer 7

Some things are better off not being said.
This subject is one of them.
Nothing good can come out of talking about it.
If she Say's she loves you, and you believe her.
That's all you need to know.
It should make you feel good, that she has chosen you to spend the rest of her life with.
You have her, show her and tell her that you love her, then you will see that all the men that look at her can only dream.
But you are the only one that can live that dream.

Answer 8

No No No and No Leve the past in the past or you might regret the answer you get! Unless someone from her past pops up and she needs to tell you forget it. Same for you she dosnt need to know and would be better of not knowing.

Answer 9

There is no use to tell each other's previous life,neither you should tell or ask her past & at the same time she also be restricted to ask your's. Now the future belongs of you both. Trust will become backbone, if trust vanishs then no one will of you get pass in life.

Answer 10

I don't think it is good to tell a spouce many details about one's past sexual relationships. It really is none of their business.

For some reason, men seem to need to tell of (brag) about past conquests. The last time my husband started in on this subject, I said to him,"Would you like to hear about some of my past experiences? I have some really great stories to tell. REALLY GREAT stories...." He declined and has never brought the subject up again.