9 yr old step son poops in his pants?

Question

i have a 9yr old step son that still poops in his pants he doesn't pee just poop an will hide it from us we have had him examined there no physical problems not sure what to do we have punished him talk to him done everything we can think of ne one got some ideas thanks

Answer 1

He may have IBS, which is missed by many doctors. It's usually caused by stress and/or food allergies. Or, he may have some problems that he'll need to see a therapist about.

Answer 2

Well I know you said you had him examined but what kind of examination? My brother when he was about 10 would poop in his pants and then hide it. Of course we found it as we followed the smell. He would hide his undies under the bed, in the closet, where ever he could. He really didn't act sick but he just kept doing it. Finally after some test they discovered that he had a blocked intestine. He was in the hospital for two weeks. The doctor said evertime he bent over or move the right way the loose stool would ooze out around the impacted stool. He was to embarresed to tell anyone so he hid it.
Also we had a little boy in my kindergarten class that did the same thing. At first I thought he was being a little brat, until it happened almost everyday. I mentioned something to them about my brother. They said they had taken him to the doctor and he didn't think anything was wrong. Finally after about 3 weeks of him going in his pants everyday and sometimes twice a day they took him back to the doctors and insisted that there was something wrong. They did a ultersound and found the same thing. He was in the hospital 4 days.
So if they haven't done test you may want to look into it.
Also what could be happening is that he is getting attention. It may not be excatly the kind he wants but it is attention at any rate. You being the step mom it could be his way of pushing your buttons. You may have to step back and let dad totally deal with this situation. If dad is unable and you are the main care giver then you must approach the situation with an attitude that this going in his pants is not a big deal. If he is doing this for attention then he may stop when he gets a no reaction one way or the other from you.
At any rate I don't think punishing him is going to solve the problem. I suggest you really watch his diet for things like, milk, soy, nuts, fat content, chocolate, eggs, wheat which are some of the main food allergies that may cause this. Get him back to the doctor if he hasn't had any test. If there isn't anything wrong on the test then you will know at least it is not physcial. I hope this helps. I know it is hard but be patient

Answer 3

I don't think that punishment in this case is the proper thing to do. When I was young I had a fear of going number 2 in public bathrooms. Many times I even pooped in my pants (as embarrassing as it is) and would hide it from my parents. I only hid it because I was ashamed and knew that it was something that I should not be doing. To get your step son over this problem, you need him to understand that it is okay and natural to poop, and that everyone does it. That he shouldn't be embarrassed, and that he should let you know when he has an "accident" with no fear of being punished. Hopefully this problem will work its way out, as it did with me. Good luck to you, and try to have patience.

Answer 4

Okay...My youngest son was potty-trained at two, because his little sister was due in a few months. Everything was going fine, until he had to go to school. As smart as he was--and as much as his teachers said, 'it's a pleasure to have him in my class,'--he began going in his pants (not at school, but at home).

We didn't know what to do--we tried talking to him, asking him if anything was wrong in school, brought him to the doctor to find out that nothing was wrong, etc. He just wouldn't tell us, or anyone else, what his problem was.

Finally he stopped (as kids in school told him that he 'stunk'), but he still would not tell us what these 3 1/2 years were about. Now that he's grown, he said, "I hated that I had to go to school and_______(his younger sister) didn't. He really thought he was missing out on something at home. It took till he was 18 before he let us know.

So, if a little thing like that could be so hard on a child--perhaps having step parents is bothering your son. Maybe he is really upset that his 'real' family broke up (or whatever). If that's not the case--it might be something very small that you're not seeing (as we didn't). Some kids just don't like to talk about things that are bothering them.

Good luck, I hope that you can get through to him. Perhaps a school counselor?

Answer 5

If he is able to hold and pee in the toilet he should be able to poop there also, maybe if he had to clean up the mess that would help. Don't over look the mental thing either but also be on the look out for "temper tantrum" how long have you been his step mom is this a fairly new situation?

Answer 6

I would definitely take him to see a child psychologist. He is most likely having some emotional difficulties that require professional help. This is not normal behavior for a nine year old, of course. Has he always done it? Does he live with you?
Since he is your stepson, he has experienced either the break up of his family or the loss of a parent, and a "replacement" parent. Does he have any other behavior problems? Is his development normal in other ways?

Answer 7

In order for us to avoid discomfort we learn to repress our instincts untill it is safe to unleash them. It could be that the child experienced something beyond the normal and is trying to tell someone, and who will hear a nine year old if his own parents wont... At this age you may have a real scat fettish developing. All can be a sort of repeat echo of something that happened in the earlier training period, perhaps the child deeply wants his real mommy. Did that cross your mind? Separations are traumatic enough for children. I used to get so sick I would end up at the hospital when my mom and dad left town for a few weeks... Think about it.

Answer 8

A ten year old daughter of a friend of mine did this and in the first counseling session the therapist said it was evident to her immediately that there was some regression issues, just from talking to her. I read also that if the child experience a lot of drama when potty training that the affects from that can follow them into late childhood.

Answer 9

My 8 year old wets the bed sometimes after he has been upset. Me and his dad are going through a divorce. He is very upset by that. I think it may be mental upset.

Answer 10

You should definently get some phycological help for him. If he is your step son maybe he is having promblems adjusting to the family or new mom that he has.