Hello. i need some help asap.
Ok, I was with my ex for about 5 years. She joined the army and i was going to school. everything was going good. then she gets moved to New York and i am in Ohio. things started to get dicey and we ended up breaking up. Soon after we broke up, she meet someone up there and they got married. they only knowing eacher for 2 months tops. Soon after they was married she calls me up telling me she is pregnant and its more than likey mine. She is around 20+ weeks pregnant. and everything shows that its mine.
This is where i need help, I need to know what rights i have. I want everything to do with this child of mine. It will be my first child. Can anyone help me what the first steps i should take. I want all my rights and i do not know if she is considered a resident of New York or Ohio being in the army and all. What would i look up for find the laws in my situation.
2007-06-29 13:35:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Before you get all legal...have you talked to her about this? Will she not let you be a part of this child's life? MY advice...take a paternity test and then be prepared to pay support and be a father to your child. If she will not let you then get an attorney and force the issue.
2007-06-29 13:40:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With her being married you are going to need a DNA test ASAP! If the new hubby gets listed as the father on the Birth Certificate then that's who has the legal rights. A case like this came up a little while ago in Mississippi. The ex wife tells the ex hubby that the child that he's paying support for is not his. So, the guy takes the kid and gets a DNA test done and low and behold the kid is not his. He goes to court to end child support and the Judge tells him that it is his name on the birth certificate therefore he IS legally responsible for the child and must continue support.
Now for the Military portion of the question. First thing you need to do is talk to her First Sergeant. He/She will be able to help you out with this. State of residences are easy to change for military members, all you need is an address somewhere, so that's no help to you. Also military married to military DO NOT have to give up legal custody of their children if they deploy or go on an exercise. Mil to Mil only have to accomplish a family care plan that outlines who the child will stay with if (or when) both military members deploy at the same time. Info on the family care plan can be found here: http://www.military.com/benefits/resources/family-support/family-care
2007-06-29 22:24:48 · answer #2 · answered by Odie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So happened that there was an almost exact episode like your case on People's Court today.
The whole thing depends on whether your ex wants you involved or treats you as adversary. If the latter, don't give up and might have to hire a lawyer. Somehow, settle the fact first by a DNA test.
If the baby is yours, you have to pay for half of the delivery expenses (any out of pocket expenses on her side that is not covered by insurance). Be there during delivery and make sure your name is on the birth certificate. As awkward as it might seems wtih her boyfriend, you make sure your are not displaced.
The next thing after birth is to settle on how you will play a role. As biological father, you enjoy equal right. If she has to move around, you might actually have an advantage as you are more stay put. That must be settled by the court. Otherwise, the baby may be very very far from you making it impossible for you to visit.
To better understand which state law applies, you can contact the bar association of your local county. It costs no more $40 to have 1/2 hour consultation with a family court lawyer to see your options and what that lawyer can offer. Ask assoc to let you talk to 2-4 more lawyers (it is worth it) to get different opinions. YOu don't want to be ripped off by sharks.
Good luck
2007-06-29 21:03:11 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit back and relax until the child is born and a dna test is done. Then you will want to get a lawyer to help you get some custody and visitation rights. Get the right lawyer, one who does this alot. After that enjoy your child. It shouldn't make a difference what state she lives in right now, but since she is in the army I would think she still resides in Ohio.
2007-06-29 21:01:02 · answer #4 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your state of residence, according to the military, is the state that you enlisted in.
If she and her new spouse are both in the military, you have a very good chance of gaining full custody. Military personnel are required to relinquish legal custody of their children if they are on deployment or in training. Talk to a lawyer, you can use that fact to your advantage.
Talk to a custody lawyer as soon as possible.
2007-06-29 20:48:08 · answer #5 · answered by Smiley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think she will give you trouble, I would definitely get in touch with a lawyer. You could sue her for custody or visitation. Most of all if she tries to take you for child support you could get a paternity test and ask for custody or visitation then. GOOD LUCK.
2007-06-29 20:44:57 · answer #6 · answered by eafackler1979 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first you talk to her, then you have her take a paternity test. If she refuses then you can get yourself a lawyer, after that if you are the dad, then it's up to you and her. Hopefully she will want you in its life and you won't have to fight about it.
Good luck
2007-06-29 21:08:59 · answer #7 · answered by johanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋