I love my girlfriend dearly. I can't imagine a day without her. We've been together six years. People keep asking me why we are not married. She is divorced and I got burned real bad. So I just don't want to ever get divorced. And she says she won't marry again. We are getting by the way we are and we seem to both agree that marriage is not for us. Or should I just tell people that we are married, so they will not ask so many questions? Technically we are common law married.
2007-06-29 13:01:19 · 21 answers · asked by laid back brainstormer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If the both of you are perfectly happy with not being married then tell those people so and to stop asking. Set them straight. Legal marriage is just a piece of paper with some tax breaks, etc. If ya'll are getting along fine without all that, then there is no reason for you to really get married. There is a difference between legal marriage and being emotionally married. Sounds like you are emotionally married to her already and that is what counts the most IMO.
2007-06-29 15:18:45 · answer #1 · answered by Avi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry her or let her go. 6 years is long enough to know whether or not it'll work out. If you're not 100% sure by now, then you may as well call it quits and go your separate ways. It's not fair to either of you to keep hanging on. If she has said that she will not marry again, then there is your answer. Now, you have to figure out what YOU want. If you want to get married, then it sounds like you're going to have to find it elsewhere. You can cohabitate and pretend to be married, but consider this, unless you are legally married, neither of you will have any say so over any end of life decisions or any other medical desicions in the future. Basically, you'll have no rights to each other....at least in some states who does not recognize common law marriages. My state does not.
2007-06-29 20:07:14 · answer #2 · answered by First Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to explain anything to nobody- if your relationship is the way you want it, then leave things be. You may think marriage might not be for the both of you- but you don't know that because you've never been married to eachother. Every relationship grows and is different with every person. You can't decide your own fate- it just happens. You can't say that neither of you will never get married- cause marriage is too beautiful of a sacrament to void it out of your lives.
But if you want to marry her, maybe you can have a very intimate, very private ceremony. Maybe even just the two of you- and you won't feel so much pressure then. Kinda like a secret between the both of you......
2007-06-29 20:11:21 · answer #3 · answered by candy- capped 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is understandable why you both feel the way you do about marriage, you are both gun-shy having suffered failed romances.As to your question, I am going to quote something you wrote by way of a response:"I love my girlfriend dearly.Ican't imagine a day without her".Isn't that what marriage is all about--to keep two people together for life .While you may like your current arrangement,it allows either one of you to walk out without a backward glance and no repercussions.Besides, you guys have been together for six years; don't you trust that your love is strong enough to carry you for sixty more?I think it can.So I ask you to marry your girlfriend , end the "pretend marriage( common law)" and believe in the love you share.However, don't marry her to please people or stop the marriage questions but to celebrate your passion for one another..
2007-06-29 20:26:01 · answer #4 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel comfortable getting married then don't get married. Just tell people that both of you love the other very much but don't have any plans to ever marry again.
As for the common law, you may want to check with your state. Many states do not recognize common law marriages anymore.
2007-06-29 20:21:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the state that you live in...you'd better check that common law thing out. Most states are different and a few don't recognize it any longer. Personally I would think that if other people are troubling you, why not get a couple of cheap rings and pretend? I mean if you both have already decided that marriage is not for you then what's the big deal?
2007-06-29 20:07:03 · answer #6 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If legal issues are not a concern (health insurance propert inheritance social security things of this nature) then just dont do it legally with a piece of paper through the state. You dont have to be legally married to make a lifelong commitment, you could have a private cerimony and make vows to one another or just profess your love whatever you wish. All it would do is let everyone know that the two of you are "real" and allow the two of you to celebrate the love you have. Then you dont have to worry about the divorce crap or any of the bad points of "legal marraige" but still satisfy that need for security as well as allow both of you to publicly express(or announce) your feelings for each other. You can celebrate an anniversary as well in recognition of your love.
You will not be married in political eyes but in Gods eyes I think it would count (if you belive in him). You can even have a certificate made in place of a licence as a representation as well as a documentation if you want. My mom and dad did it before they were LEGALLY married and it kept them satisfied until I was 20 or so. Then because of gov. benefits they finally did it legally.
2007-06-29 21:30:54 · answer #7 · answered by dydasgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To hell what people say. If your both happy the way you are. Why should you get married. For some strange reason everything you have a wedding to show that you are committed to someone. If fact i know couples who have lived together last longer in a relationship that those who where married
2007-06-29 20:09:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your situation is acceptable to both you and your girlfriend, then it is no one else's business if you marry or not. It sounds like you're concerned about what others think rather than on your own personal choices. The next time someone asks why you are not married, ask them why they feel the need to ask.
2007-06-29 20:11:37 · answer #9 · answered by dvdclark2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with together with the same guy for almost 8 years now. After a while, people will just stop asking.
You could do one of two things:
1) Tell everyone that you are happily "unmarried"
or
2) Suprise your girlfriend with a ring and see what happens..
2007-06-29 20:08:15 · answer #10 · answered by Candy L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋