Let me start by saying I was married for almost 18 years, got divorced made some stupid mistakes and lied to get myself out of them. I have been trying to get back with my ex-wife but i thaink from all the things that have happend that may no longer be an option. I am trying so hard to show her that I can never do such harmful things to her again, but i think she may be past all of this. she recently started to date and its killing me not that i didnt also but now i know what it feels like to be on the other side of the equasion since she told me she really likes this guy who has more to offer her money that sort of stuff. i can only offer myself and my love and being faithfull and no more lies.
2007-06-29 09:57:30 · 12 answers · asked by Jev 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would say your best bet is to not tell her how you feel and how you have changed SHOW her....Don't try so hard to push yourself on her or to get back with her..Start livinga diffrent life than what you have in the past set goals and start obtaining them. Start being up fron with her about your feelings, thoughts and things that you may have not been honest with her in the past. Let her know about your struggles and triumphs...Give her a little time to take in your changes and then maybe ask her on a date or to coffee. I believe that she would need to see change and know its genuine and true before she will be willing to take a chance with you again. Your marriage didn't fall apart over night so it won't be fixed over night and it will take some work and you need to be willing to do that..Actions speak louder than words..I wish you all the best !Remember nothing happens without hard work!
2007-06-29 10:07:37 · answer #1 · answered by benzmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are gong through, I have been in the exact boat....and it is hard.....cause you never know what you had until it's gone. You have to just keep trying, showing her that you have changed. You know everyone makes mistakes...and I know that you say she has started dating, but until she gets maaried , you still have a chance. Start by sending her some flowers, you know do some of the things you never did when you were married. Ask her out on a date, you know you are divorced, so look at it like this is a new relationship. What's really hard when you get back with an ex is to keep from throwing up the past. Let the past go and move forward. I know that I just hung in there, I talked with my ex, explained that I had been so stupid, selffish and self centered...and more than anything I let him know that I was truly sorry for what I had done, and I let him see my sencerity. It may not be a quick thing, but if you hang in there and be strong, you may have a chance.
2007-06-29 10:05:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that once trust is gone from a relationship there is no relationship. It sounds as if your ex has moved on and I think it's time for you to do the same. A woman scorned is a difficult woman to get a change in opinion about you. You lied to her that must have hurt. Then 18 years is a long time to then turn around and lie and manipulate your way out. Take time and ask yourself how would what you did set with you had the show been on the other foot. Meaning if she did to you whatever it was you did to her. How would you have felt behind that. Many times our own selfish egotistical mentalities won't let us see what the other person feels, but if you can bring yourself to see it the way she does you'll be able to deal with the situation and move on.
2007-06-29 10:08:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what you had to offer her when you got married, and you took all that back. What's she to think now? You broke trust time and time again. It's almost better that she did find someone that has more to offer, (I'm sure it's not just the money that she's needing from this man). This man is offering her what you promised but never delivered. Let her be. You've done enough.
2007-06-29 10:03:44 · answer #4 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunetley, you MESSED up and MESSED UP bad... I think you need to let your wife have a happy life and let her explore this new relationship she has... if it doesn't work out and she calls you then YAY you got lucky and go for it, but your the one who ruined your marriage, don't keep being the negative in her life, if she is happy, let her be happy! It probably wasn't meant to be, or else you wouldn't have cheated!!!!
2007-06-29 10:08:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say it but i would stop trying, if she's got a new man in her life, she's moved on, i would let her get on with her life, and you should try to get on with yours.
2007-06-29 10:04:35 · answer #6 · answered by TRIKER CHICK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor man looses again!! sorry be you can't expect a woman to live on love alone we need security diamonds &pearls...
2007-06-29 10:09:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying at all. Give up on her, she wants a new life. Get your own life.
2007-06-29 10:01:03 · answer #8 · answered by UnderwaterTomato 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's time to move on. Find yourself another woman and forget the ex.
2007-06-29 10:01:15 · answer #9 · answered by myassisdragon 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you love her, let her go...she deserves to be happy, even if it isn't with you.
2007-06-29 10:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋