What is he thinking? He thought it would be better if we lived apart for a while,and I agree.The kids aren't really understanding it all.So I got a place, getting everything slowly but surely, but almost everyday when I say i'm going to my place(kids are sleeping at his becuz I didn't have new beds until yesterday)he tells me I can stay and eat and even stay the night there if I want?And even gone as far as waking me to go get into bed.But everynight he's playing his game.On sun. I went to be with the kids but they were at the movies and he played his game,barely talked to me,but then invites me to dinner with them,and told me I didn't have to go back to the apartment I could stay there.He is acting nicer and i'm thankful for it but why?Why now?
A little 411-we have been together for more then a decade but in the last 1-1 1/2 yrs. it seems that we fight and argue about anything but nothing.Neither one of us wants our family to break uphowever neither one of us are backing down
2007-06-29 09:25:52 · 18 answers · asked by bjustnape 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I also lost my job last weekend(great timing huh)so is that why he's acting nicer?Out of pity?Or could it be that he might actually misses me a little?What is it he is thinking and feeling about everything.Or is he just glad that i'm finally outta there?
I know one thing we both took it for granted that the other person was there and never thought it would even start to get to this point.
2007-06-29 09:29:37 · update #1
Please don't take the easy route...it's not about getting laid or sex.FYI even when we are fighting sex happens.That is one thing that we have never had issues with.That is not a factor,if he wants it he gets,if I want it I get.
2007-06-29 09:36:45 · update #2
He wants to get laid.
2007-06-29 09:31:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that it is because you two are not together already
he think that this is what friend do
after all you two once, are a couple
and know well of each other
maybe he feel like having you around with the kids
because he had used to it, he is feel lonely
well people are very scare of loneliness
we dont want to live in this world alone right?
if he didnt talk to you, you could be the first one to talk
just to get rid of awkward...
it is better for you to have your own place with ur kids
so you wont have to depend on him
sooner or later your kids will know what happen betwn you two
sometimes children are more sensitive and just know everything
adult are always avoiding problems as they have everything to worry about, children dont
if you have time, go and check out a book by author "Andrew Matthews", 'being happy' and others
this book might help you in others problem you might encounter in your life
thanks for hearing me, hope you are able to figure it out
all the best!
2007-06-30 18:09:22 · answer #2 · answered by ash 1412 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married 19yrs in October we just went through a dry spell. are you open to suggestion. do you believe in God?
well the reason i asked there are some good scriptures in the bible Proverb 31 is about what kind of women wife mother all of Proverbs is great. there is a book called the power of a praying wife that is very helpful. he is going through something and you need to be a good wife and hold him up and he probably did not ever think you would leave and you did so now he is in shock of the fact that you did not fight to stay maybe you both need to be alone with each other so you can talk and see what he expects of you and you of him. help each other through this.
2007-06-29 09:39:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first off all couples argue some more than others that is said to be healthy in a relationship. But you have been together over a decade so you should be able to set down and talk about what you are going to do. Also, you both need to realize what this is doing to the kids. They are prob. very confused and scared. If you have to go to marriage therapy to work out what is going on, do it please. Good Luck
2007-06-29 09:35:22 · answer #4 · answered by kcbertram07102005 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's 411 ( I thought you were 41)? YOu said a lot but not the critical parts. are you married? If not, this is a live-in and you might have kids together, but there is no commitment or contract (engagement and marriage are contracts). So he is ready to move on. Sounds like you are living in his place or you wouldn't leave on your own. What game are you talking about?
2007-06-29 09:38:43 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who knows what and how women and men think. I have been married since 1969 and have raised six daughters (half bio & half adopted) and I am not less confused than I was a quarter of a century ago. I guess it is called life and if you understand it then something is wrong. Good luck.
2007-06-29 09:43:00 · answer #6 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't realize what you've got til it's gone. Maybe he's feeling the same thing, but hard to tell. If I really loved my husband, I would've never let him leave in the first place. I would've tried to work on things.
You can't support your family and give your kids a good home without a job. Be prepared to lose them if there's a custody fight.
2007-06-29 09:36:24 · answer #7 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you have been together for so long and have 2 kids together why in the world can't you ask HIM those questions. Come on you're not little kids anymore stop playing the games. And by the way if you think your kids aren't getting it, they are. You are both messing with their minds. Mom's here, mom's not here, dad's nice, dad wants her out.
GROW UP FOR GOODNESS SAKE
2007-06-29 09:36:48 · answer #8 · answered by johanne 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're living in limbo, hon.... he's addicted to games, you aren't (and just as an aside, addicts aren't available for relationships... they are already in one, it just isn't with you or his family... good luck trying to cure those... any counselor will tell you it's about hopeless, and now even there are news casts that are proving it as studies are coming out...)... stay if you like it, leave, file, and find someone else if you don't You can't be a door mat unless you like laying there...
2007-06-29 09:38:15 · answer #9 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should stop staying over. I'm sure that he really wants to get back together but if you are always there, he won't have to do the work.
2007-06-29 09:40:10 · answer #10 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kinda sounds like he wants the best of both worlds.Don't go over to be with him anymore.Don't stay for dinner or spend the night.When u go to see the kids make it kinda formal between you two.Get the kids and take them somewhere then drop them back off without going inside.He'll either admit he wants you back or it'll be the end.At least u'll know.
2007-06-29 09:32:15 · answer #11 · answered by nascarjr8ts20 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋