Why is there a phenomenon of people in small communities having more friends than people in big cities?

Question

People in small communities seems to make friends easier and people in big cities seems to get isolated easier, I could never get to any conclusion why that is and would like to have some views on what could be the reason.

The answers so far have all (except the odd few) got truth in it. It seems that it may be combination of the answers.

Thank you to all who answered.

Answer 1

I've lived mostly in smaller communities but lived in and around San Francisico for almost 10 years too.

I think big cities are more transient as other people said. They are more intimidating, with higher crime rates, so people tend to keep to themselves more. You see neighborhoods that may know each other as families but that would only be a few block area. People tend to stay in their little "interest groups" that may not necessarily be associated with where you live....such as theatre, or dance, or an exercise group or a class you're taking.

In small communities you are more limited to where you shop, and who you interact with so you are bound to come across people over and over again. Businesses are not always chains, many are local and been around for years so you get to know the people who work there. People live closer to where they work because there is no mass transit, so you tend to have neighbors that you work with. You meet the same people at church that you see at work, you see them at the gym, you run into them at the store and so on. Your circle is more limited so you get to know more people because of this.

I live in a smaller community now....my son went to school here his entire school career and just graduated (which was not the case for me growing up). I knew many of his classmates from Elementary school right up to graduation night and cried when they graduated too. I gave me a real feeling of belonging to something and somewhre and I really like that. I volunteer here, live here and work here and I feel very strongly that this is MY town.......I can complain all I want about it but don't YOU come in here and cut on my town.....and that's a good feeling. It feels like home to me know and I wanted a place to feel like home to me since I left home for college almost 30 years ago and this is IT.

Answer 2

I've lived in both and haven't found what you say to be true.

Whether you live in a large city or a small town is less important than that you live in a community. A community might be where you work, where you go to school, where your kids go to school, people you meet at the dog run or at the gym or during an evening class or a combination of these things. If you start to put down roots -- even something as simple as shopping at the same small stores regularly -- you will start meeting people.

On the other hand, if you are a transient yourself, haven't been there for very long, are leaving soon, then you probably won't make a lot of strong friendships. The process takes time.

And while you may know every one of your neighbors in a small town and they you, sometimes you kinda wish you didn't and that you could go about your life a little more anonymously.

Answer 3

I lived in many many places including Phoenix, Baltimore, the D.C. metroplex, and San Francisco, where I had my most positive city experiences...and various small town as South Lake Tahoe, and others throughout the South East and East coasts....

Cities have more of a transient population than smaller towns. People are always going to or from somewhere in larger numbers...where as in a smaller community there are limited places to go, shop, dine, etc...

When I lived in SF I didn't know anyone! Big cities kinda force ya into talking more and being bolder about it...and offer a lot more options of where and when...

So, in smaller communities, you are persuaded, so to speak, that you get to know everyone in you community not only for trivial reasons, but often the entire ebb and flow of the community depends on people knowing what's going on...

Where as cities will thrive no matter who stays where for how long.

Answer 4

I've lived in both and have found that cities have more transient populace than small communities...people always arriving and leaving, to work or study.
In a small community there are only so many shops, churches, schools etc. to choose from and so you get to know peoples faces.

When I lived in the city I knew no one apart from my student friends...until I rented a council flat and suddenly I knew everyone in the block...maybe because these people were settled in life...they had always lived in the area and were friendlier.

Answer 5

LOL! thats an easy question for me! i live on moloka'i in hawaii..our island is only 10 miles wide and 20 miles long..i think. were one of the smaller islands of hawaii.total population is about 7,000.everyone knows everyone. we dont have any malls jsut each other..the nearest theatre is all the way on the west side of the island. everyone know everyone bottom line. threres not to many people not to be friends with. yea some may not like others but yea. we have only one high school.thats what i think...everyone just knows everyone..unlike cities..theres hundreds of people

Answer 6

I think one reason is that you have so many things you can do in a big city that your life becomes hectic. You get less and less time for making more friends. On the other hand people need friends who have time for them. If you find yourself neglecting your friends they might drift away from you, without meaning to do so.

Answer 7

The answer should be apparent to you: Diversity, diversity, diversity.

People in small, homogenous communities easily form friendships; and the reason for that is self-evident: The community is homogenous. People, by nature, like people like themselves.

Think about it: What race are most of YOUR friends? Only rarely is there a person who has more friends of another race than that of his or her own.

Big cities across the United States and Europe are now being invaded by foreigners who come from cultures and races totally unlike our own. Furthermore, these backwards people are encouraged to keep their own ways and preserve their own cultures. It's no wonder why so many people are feeling isolated.

As a white person living in Houston, a city over-run with Mexicans and blacks and people from everywhere on the world, I feel like a foreigner in my own country. I hate it. I want to leave. Unfortunately, wherever white people go, non-whites follow (because white people can create much better societies).

Answer 8

in a big city, you never know who you can run across.
(you can't know everyone, so you tend to not trust many)
mugging is very comon

in a small city, everybody already feels pretty comfortable with each other since they see them all the time.

Plus the air is filled of fimilaraity, since everyone pretty much understand each others, and their living habits.

in small cities, people need to stick together to provide things for each other.

(smaller cities don't have such high crime rates)

Answer 9

I think it has to do with the fact that big city people are surrounded by people all the time - so solitude is way to get away from it all.

Answer 10

Large cities are transient, meaning their residents come and go, so it's more difficult to sustain relationships. Plus there are so many things to do in big cities that you get attached to places and not always people.