What would an ACLU-approved Nativity Scene look like?

Question

AUSTIN, TX – The Young Conservatives of Texas - University of Texas Chapter announced today that they will be displaying an “ACLU Nativity Scene” on the West Mall of the University of Texas campus. The group’s intent is to raise awareness on the extremity of the ACLU, and bring to light its secular-progressive efforts to remove Christmas from the public sphere. The display, the first of its kind in the nation, will feature characters that are quite a bit different than the standard crèche.

“We’ve got Gary and Joseph instead of Mary and Joseph in order to symbolize ACLU support for homosexual marriage, and of course there isn’t a Jesus in the manger,” said Chairman Tony McDonald. “The three Wise Men are Lenin, Marx, and Stalin because the founders of the ACLU were strident supporters of Soviet style Communism. The whole scene is a tongue-in-cheek way of showing the many ways that the ACLU and the far left are out of touch with the values of mainstream America"

The scene will also display a terrorist shepherd and an angel in the form of Nancy Pelosi

http://leftwinghate.townhall.com/

Answer 1

The joke is on you, because the traditional nativity scene is rife with very non-PC, stereotypical, racist images, and should be forcibly changed to protect impressionable young people.

First of all, the whole idea of the Virgin Mary is wrong. How do you or anyone else know for sure that she was willing to be "knocked up" by God? We propose replacing her with someone who truly enjoys intimate relationships, "Mabel The Happy H@@ker". We want to stress to young girls that there is no shame in getting physical enjoyment from sex, a notion the Virgin Mary obviously rejected.

Next, we don't approve of Joseph's profession, nor his name. Being a non-union carpenter reeks of selfish independence. We want to replace him with Gabe The Union Plumber. Please don't get technical with us. We fully realize they didn't have plumbing back then, but we're not going to senselessly handcuff ourselves to conform to some literal interpretation of history. Leave that for you narrow-minded Conservatives.

The Three Wise Men is absolutely the most objectionable part of this nativity scene. We want school children to feel good about themselves, not obsess over how little they know compared to smarter people. Honoring high intellect will simply injure the self esteem of many children.

Also, although two of the wise men appear to be ***** or at least dark skinned, we find it an appalling lack of diversity. We want to change the profiles completely from Gaspar, Melchior, and Balthasar to something that promotes the spirit of diversity, rather than the literal diversity. Hence, these men will be renamed, "Leroy, Pablo, and Loquitia" (yes, we are changing the last one to a woman; intelligence must not be typecast as solely a male characterisitc).

We have other changes in mind, but we don't want to remove all the surprises. We encourage you to visit our exciting new nativity scene, where we will also have a Kwanza display, and several Middle Eastern religions represented. We will leave these intact. They do not require any tweaking to be diverse.

Answer 2

Well, let's see...

There would be no baby in the manger, because it would have been aborted.

The 3 "wise men" would be terrorists that got off scot free with an ACLU defense.

Joseph, would of course, be Joseph Stalin.

The Angel would be Lenin, blessing all in the Commey way.

Answer 3

The ACLU can be a pain in the *** - aren't the rights of other people always a pain in the ***? They definitely get in my way. ;-)

I'm not a member of the ACLU; but I do not think they are against Christmas or Christianity. What they do fight to preserve is the separation of church and state.

This separation is a very desirable thing. Iran has no separation between church and state, neither did Afghanistan when the Taliban was in charge, neither did Spanish when the Inquisition was busy torturing Protestants, Jews, Muslims, etc..(whoever wasn't Catholic).

History shows that you have to keep a close eye on religions - especially when they control the government of a country. Religions tend to be very black and white - you're one of us, or you are an evil sinner. Once the religion has identified you as an evil sinner then it is a short step to saying that it is "God's will" that the evil sinners be eliminated.

I'm not saying religions don't do a lot of good in their communities - they can do really great, amazing things. That's what the US has today - lots of people sincerely committed to doing great and amazing things for other people.

The separation of church and state does not prevent you from putting up a nativity scene, organizing a dios de muertos day parade, hosting a sedder at Passover or observing a quiet Ramadan at home. It simply says, you can't use tax payers money to pay for it.

Not really that painful is it?

Answer 4

I think a historically accurate one would hit the ACLU's bill...which means Jesus was a Jew.

They'd certain want Kwanza and Hannakah and whatever Islam has beside it, but I think Gary and Joseph doesn't make much sense giving the way the Bible reads. Of course, if Gary had gotten pregnant, it really would have been a miracle!

Answer 5

Unfortunately, it sounds like they have a valid point. The really frightening part is that the Democrat Party sounds increasingly like Marx, Lenin, and Stalin!

Answer 6

I think that an ACLU Nativity scene would have an abortion taking place because the AChaven'tgotacLUe doesn't like Jews?

Answer 7

For the record, the purpose of the ACLU was to defend the Bill of Rights.

Who cares about what an "ACLU Nativity Scene" would look like. The Nativity has to do with religion, not government or politics. The last I heard, religion and State were appropriately separate.

Or would you say our founders were "Marxist," "Leninist," or "Stalinist" for writing Freedom of Religion and Separation of Church and State into our Constitution? Do you believe the Bill of Rights is too "liberal"? If so, stop calling yourself an American, because individual rights and freedoms are this country's foundation. Check out the Federalist Papers.

On the record: I am not a fan of the ACLU (not because of its original purpose, but because of the way the organization has been abused); however, I am also not a fan of groups that attempt to bring religion into the sphere of politics and government. Afghanistan, Iran, and other countries have had a rather major problem because of that. Do we REALLY want a Christian Saudi Arabia-style government?

Answer 8

I thought that in the Good Ol' US of A the three Wise Men were called:
Acheson, Topeka, and Santa Fe?

Answer 9

Pretty good, except of course that in the cradle would be an aborted late-term fetus and the shepherds would be having sex with the animals while taking drugs sold to them by illegal aliens.

Answer 10

And sheppards standing by should be Asian, African and Mexican.

Watching in the background should be an ACLU lawyer with a suit and tie writing secret notes like this:

"Baby Jesus appears to be a child of ambiguous sex, this is good."

and...

"I see abortion papers on the floor, so it looks like Gary had a choice in this matter, that is good also. I like this display and will put my stamp of approval on it."