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8 answers

I'm a mom of twins (who are now 17 months old and starting to wake up from their nap) -- I will post a reply later but I wanted to be sure to refer you to the forums at http://www/twinstuff.com . You may already be familiar with them, but if not, they are forums for parents of multiples (the majority are parents of twins, but there are parents of triplets and higher order multiples as well) and it is an invaluable resource for information, advice, etc. The forums specifically for "The First Year" are wonderful, I don't know how I would have gotten through the first several months without them.

Good luck!
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Later that same day....

If you can have some kind of help caring for them, by all means, do it. I was confident I could do it all on my own and while it's certainly possible, and many people do it, help, if you can get it, is a wonderful thing. You may want help caring for the babies or you may want help with, you know, everything/anything else. Many people recommend having some help for a week or two when the babies first come home -- the pros to that are obvious so I will play devil's advocate and point out the main con (which has nothing to do with having twins vs. having a singleton, by the way): you may want time alone, as a family unit, to bond and settle in when your babies first come home, and you may not want anyone there. If you have a partner/spouse and he is able to take time off from work when the babies come home, chances are that he isn't taking off much time, and you may not want others there at that point. Also, if he can take time off from work, and if you're taking off more time from work, you don't want to go from having "lots of help" and people around (your husband, and, say, a relative who is helping you out, or a baby nurse, or whatever) to having no one at all when husband goes back to work and the help situation ends. Anyway, that said, take help that's offered!! But be clear about the kind of help you want -- if relatives live nearby they'll probably be quite interested in helping with the baby, when what you will probably really want is help with things like laundry! Be that as it may, think about what you want in help and what is possible....and take it if you can get it.

Routine, routine, routine -- before motherhood I was not very...good...about routine. But I believe it's imperative, and has a lot to do with why my children (now 17 months) are so happy. You don't have to be rigid about things, but routine is great for most babies and gives them a sense of security...and with twins, routine is great for the caregiver and gives them(us) a sense of sanity! It also means trying to keep both babies on the same "schedule" -- you know that old saying, never wake a sleeping baby? Feh. That saying is inapplicable where twins are concerned. If you don't wake a sleeping baby what you end up with is a situation where you are *constantly* feeding. If one baby wakes at 1am to eat....the other one gets offered the breast/bottle then as well. Otherwise, you're in trouble, you will never sleep, and you will truly suffer. If you breastfeed, try breastfeeding in tandem -- after you're comfortable breastfeeding at all. If you bottle feed, find ways to feed simultaneously. If you do both, you can breastfeed one while bottle feeding the other...and switch that around at the next feeding. Etc. Establish a consistent bedtime routine with your babies before you even think it makes a difference to them; it can be very simple but be consistent. This will help with getting them to sleep (although sleeping through the night is a developmental thing and can't be rushed against an individual baby's particular inner schedule....unfortunately). Have a routine of waking, eating, and playing, and learn to look for "sleepy signs" to put your babies down for a nap....the ability to sleep well is a learned skill and when babies get very tired they don't sleep. If you try to keep them awake longer it will backfire, and nights will be terrible.

Get the support of other moms of multiples. For me, the forums at twinstuff.com were very very helpful. Most questions/concerns that moms have are pretty universal on some level, whether the mom is dealing with one baby or five. But the options, solutions, etc. are different when you have twins as contrasted with when you have a single baby. Pure and simple. Most of the well-intentioned advice from moms of singletons isn't very applicable, and if nothing else it gets very annoying because the bottom line is people who have not parented multiples just don't get it. So be sure and have some resource, some group of people in the same position or people who have been in that position, to help you through, whether it's on-line, or a local parents of multiples club, or just a subscription to Twins magazine. Something.

Be organized. Someone else mentioned keeping a notebook. My husband and I made a chart -- a very simple chart, basically dividing a page in two, one side for our son and one for our daughter, with columns for: time, feedings, diapers, and "other." We printed them out on our computer and used one chart per day, noting the time for each baby of feedings (how much they drank or for how long they breastfed), diaper changes (wet, "poopy" and yes, color and consistency b/c that info is telling for a doctor). In the "other" column we put everything else, from medication taken to temperature to what new food they had tried....whatever. It was extremely helpful for us, and for our doctor. You'd be amazed at how much you don't remember that stuff (especially when you're utterly sleep deprived). Very important.

For practical stuff in preparing for twins, remember first of all that twins doesn't mean you need two of everything! One baby may love a bouncy seat while the other hates it. Ditto a swing. Get one, see how it goes. Our twins shared a crib until they were six months, too. As for the stroller, there really is no such thing as a perfect double stroller, at all! To start with I urge you to get infant car seats that snap out of the base and can be carried...and a snap n go stroller, which is basically a base into which those car seats can fit. Makes life very easy. The stroller is cheap, it's light, it can be used for as long as the kids can be in those seats, and buys you time to learn what you really need/want in a stroller so you can get one (or probably two) that truly fit the bill.

If you have same-sex twins, if they are identical or if they appear identical, find some consistent, agreed upon way to tell them apart. Sounds stupid, but I've heard again and again from parents of ID twins that they could not tell the babies apart when they were very little. Some use a touch of nailpolish on a fingernail, some go by color of clothing...whatever.

Diapers: 1800diapers.com. They have excellent prices (yes, you can find better sometimes, but time and effort do have value, you have two babies to look after, after all!) and, they deliver right to your door. Orders over $50 are shipped free. They sell bigger boxes than you can find in most stores. You can even "schedule" a delivery with them so they deliver, say, once a month (but if you do that remember to change/update the size you need!) I cannot tell you the hassle it saves me from, not having to buy the tons of diapers we need every time we go shopping. And it's not just diapers, they do formula, wipes, and various other baby needs as well.

This doesn't speak to the raising of twins, but nonethless: if you are still expecting and they haven't been born yet, be prepared earlier than a woman pregnant with a single baby would be. Chances are pretty high that the babies will be born early. Or, you may find yourself on bedrest at some point. So get ready early.

This is a ridiculously long answer, I'm sorry for that. I'll leave you with two other thoughts. One: be prepared for a lot of attention and a lot of comments, which can be sweet and can be annoying. No matter how sweet it is you will get annoyed by the attention and the questions...and for some reason people tend to want to touch twins more than other babies. Two: This is the most important thing to remember. Have fun. Raising twins is....very challenging. It's the hardest job I've ever had, let me tell you. It is also the most fun you'll ever have. Enjoy it.

Sorry to go on for so long. Congratulations!

2007-06-29 08:39:30 · answer #1 · answered by ljb 6 · 5 0

I don't actually have twins... but my stepson came home to live with us straight home from the hospital, and my daughter was born 3 months later, so they are *very* close. A *routine* is a very good thing. Not a schedule, where you do things at a certain time, but a routine... for example... When they wake up in the morning, feed them, tummy time while they are alert and happy, then a little one on one time, diaper changes, and nap. Do the same things in the same order every day. Once they are a few months old, the actual schedule will fall into place if you've been doing this all along. Another tip... you do not need two of *everything*! One floor gym is enough, one crib will probably be enough... don't go crazy with the toys, either... the chances that they will both play with the same toy at the same time is slim, so you really only need one of each toy. Things you will definitely want two of... bouncer seats, bassinettes if you'll be using them, possibly baby swings (I would wait to buy the second one... some babies don't even like the swing!) and stationary activity centers (the walkers that don't move). Good luck!

2007-06-30 10:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I am a mother of 11 month old boy/girl twins and I'm also a single mother. Since they were born I have raised them all on my own. What I did during the night was when one woke up I would wake the other and feed them at the same time. I would put them in their bouncy seat and sit in between them on the floor and hold bottles in their mouths. As for naps, at around 6 months they had a nap every two hours after they get up. Now, they take a nap every three hours.
My advise is to stick with both of them going down for a nap, otherwise you will never have time for your self. Don't freak out when they both cry at the same time, because it will happen. They will soon learn they can wait.
My routine when they were born was a bottle every 3 hours and 11 months later its still every 3 hours.
You are so lucky to have twins! Its the best experience in the world. What ever people say thats its really hard raising twins, its not. I love it!
Also take all the help you can get! Even if its just to take a shower or eat. For me I didn't really ask for help I wanted to show everyone I could do this on my own. I really regret not taking the offers.
God gave you these twins because he knew you could handle it. Take everyday as a blessing.
OOHHH. As for a stroller I used a snap on stroller that you could put the carseats in. What a wonderful thing and very easy to use. Babies r us sells them online.

2007-06-29 09:04:25 · answer #3 · answered by lanimarie25 2 · 0 0

While I am not a mother of twins, I am a twin...and my mom was telling me a little bit about how she handled my sister and I.... b/c I recenlty gave birth to my second baby and my kids are only a yr. apart.

Anyhow, she says a routine is an absolute must! (although it should be w/ any baby). Soon your babies will get to expect the routine and then you can do things with each one at your own pace. She also found it easier to bottle feed, which is what she did from the begining (just her opinion). She also said that while it is harder in the begining, it gets much easier later on (unlike single babies)..like around 6 months. your kids will be able to entertain one another while you can do other things around the house (or just take a break!)
Good Luck!

2007-06-29 08:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by Christine 4 · 0 0

I have identical twin boys who will be 3 years old in 2 weeks and 2 days! My advice is to try to have as much help as possible. I bottle fed my boys and I made sure that if I was up feeding one that as soon as I was done I fed the other to keep them on the same schedule. My husband didn't do any night feedings and it was really hard on me being up every couple hours and having to stay up about an hour each time. It was hard to have a true routine for us because when the twins were born my daughter was only 15 months old, and I also had a 4 year old daughter so my life was hectic. I didn't get much help from anybody. I always made bottles in advance so I had a whole bunch of bottles in the fridge ready to be heated up. Stores like wal-mart sell baby bottle warmers. Or you can buy gallons of water and just leave them out on the counter instead of refridgerating them to keep them at room temp and make bottles that way so you don't have to heat anything up. If you've had a single child prior to having twins its not going to be much different except really how long it takes you to do something. Like with my 2 singletons it only took about half an hour to feed and change them when they woke up to the time they went back to sleep but with the twins it took me close to an hour.

2007-06-29 08:29:26 · answer #5 · answered by coley0204 2 · 1 0

Get organized before the twins come, arrange for help if possible during the first six weeks or so. Most likely at least one of them will get day and night mixed up so help at night is very helpful. Buy enough diapers etcs to last at least a couple weeks as going out to the store is much harder than it is now. If you can afford it send your laundry out to the laundromat -they will wash and fold the clothes (also pick it up and deliver it back to you) at least for the first few weeks. A routine is almost necessary Iused a notebook to record feedings, and things like bms, wet diapers, how much each ate at a feeding. This helped a lot when going to the doctor.

I know this may sound strange but if they are identical -then get and use some of those little bracelets on them. It is soo easy to get them mixed up. Soon you are no longer sure who is who!!

As for Mom -sleep when you can. Let the helpers do the dishes, vaccumming etc. Also get out of the house even if its just into the yard for a while. Invite friends to come over and visit so you have some adult time. It's really easy to get soo involved with the babies that you forget you need things too. Like adult conversation(even if its mostly about babies) and fresh air. Dont neglect yourself, when a helper is there get your shower in and get yourself dressed each day-too easy to just wear what ever for far too long.

Dont forget your husband - he needs his wife occasionally too!!

2007-06-29 08:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 1 0

well i personally do not have twins, I however am a twin with a sister that is 2 years older then me, My mom just said it was hectic, One of us would be one place and the other somewhere else, she was alway srunning, My step mom also had twins, my half bro and sis. I was able to help with them since im 14 years old then them, But she would get up, feed them, play with them, put them back down for a nap, and they woudl get up, Its reallly hard to get babies on the same schedule from what ive heard and witnessed. Good luck

2007-06-29 08:24:55 · answer #7 · answered by Jen L 4 · 0 0

I have twins but they are now 10, in the early days especially at night we each had one baby and we got up to feed our own baby, also my biggest piece of advise in the early days is sleep when they do, the housework will be there when they grow up :)
If you have friends, relatives who are offering to help whether it be to do the shopping a bit of work take that offer of help also dont be afraid to ask for help.
With feeding I put them both in chairs and fed them together so that it didnt seem like a constant feed/change routine.
Goodluck, twins are lovel, they might be hard work but they certainly give you twice the fun :)

2007-06-29 08:29:24 · answer #8 · answered by mumoffour 4 · 3 0

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