I'm 20. My Boyfriend is 36. We go to AA... (Alcoholics Anonymous) I feel like I'm living a forty-year old's life sometimes.. work, meeting, cook dinner, go to bed. I used to be a total party-girl, and I really miss it sometimes. I'm feeling really "out there" today ( I just dyed my hair blue) and I'm seriously considering leaving my boyfriend and moving in with my friend and his roommates, who like to drink... a lot. Am I totally Crazy?? Serious answers only, please.
2007-06-29 08:07:26 · 12 answers · asked by girlatherockshow 1 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
Don't give up on AA. Alcohol will suck the years away. Tell your boyfriend how you are feeling, and why. Be honest now, and see if he can help you feel at peace with yourself and your life.
Jim
2007-06-29 09:25:02 · answer #1 · answered by Calvin James Hammer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haha, no Girl, you're not crazy, you're human. Age has nothing to do with your situation between you and your boyfriend, frame of mind has EVERYTHING to do with it. If he is at a place in life where he has sewn his wild oats and wants to settle down and nest, fall into that dreaded world of grown up responsibility and monotony- and you're still feeling like you have a lot to experience, that you're not ready to embrace all that "Maturity" entails, then you and he are in very different headspaces.
Often people say "My relationship didn't work because he was 40 and I was 20." Well again, no matter what age they are, the differences in life desires make it hard to accomodate one another. Perhaps the older party is looking for a new sense of order and peace, a quietness that comes with security and the reliability of that. A younger party might still be testing the water on all sides of the pool, looking for the most comfortable spot. Sometimes, it's vice versa. I've known some young people who graduated, got married and immediately settled into family life... and I know some 50 year olds that can't keep still, they drink and cuss like sailors and wherever they go, a party follows. You see, neither of these are wrong. The question is: What makes you HAPPY?
Re: Going to AA- AWESOME and congrats on persuing your whole happiness and well-being.
2007-06-29 19:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by Phaylen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you know if you hang around the wrong people (who like to drink) then you are going to be tempted. It sounds like you are depressed and trying to find something that makes you feel better (dying hair, wanting to go to the party crowd etc...) There is more to life than work, meeting, cooking and then going to bed. Find something else to do with your boyfriend. If that relationship is not working out then find another alternative but do NOT go back to the partying friends.
2007-07-02 06:12:41 · answer #3 · answered by Rambabu n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you know if you hang around the wrong people (who like to drink) then you are going to be tempted. It sounds like you are depressed and trying to find something that makes you feel better (dying hair, wanting to go to the party crowd etc...) There is more to life than work, meeting, cooking and then going to bed. Find something else to do with your boyfriend. If that relationship is not working out then find another alternative but do NOT go back to the partying friends.
2007-06-29 15:19:44 · answer #4 · answered by saved_by_grace 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, no your not crazy, just extreme. This is not an either or situation. Plan fun stuff in advance. So you have something to look forward to. Working toward your goals. That's the one and only area of A.A. that I disagree with. One day at a time... is helpful in a moment of obsession. During moments of clarity plan for the future. Moving into a place like that is asking for trouble. If you aren't happy with your situation change it in a healthy way. Every one has to work, it may as well be something you love.
Take care
Jen
2007-07-01 01:25:36 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you are going to AAA for what reason to maintain a stable and good life style. if you leave and hit the roads in the time you consider you will be dead in another 20 years and have gained nothing but you are then closer to death by drinking and partying if that is what you want then go. i am sorry you can't seem to stop and yes, leave the friend because hes on the right road trying to make himself and his problesm better and himself better. I think you are nuts but then again i have never been adicted to booze. yes, call it what you like. but its so bad and can ruin so many lives its sad. I have two sons that have woke up and turned their lives around with AAA and thank god they dont think liek you. its bad and not good.
2007-07-01 22:39:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need a change but I don't think it is reverting back to drinking and partying. You are young and need to enjoy life. There is responsibility at any age but you sound like you could use a change and do it with someone more your age and interests.
Go to school, get a job (you might want to change your hair back) and don't start drinking again, it won't do you any good.
Good Luck
2007-06-29 15:23:55 · answer #7 · answered by dependon1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shouldnt feel like a 40 year old you should feel like a mature 20 year old not many 20 year olds are that responsible and go to AA also u should only leave him if u have a relationship problem or a BIG fite
2007-06-29 15:11:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!
Firstly, why do you need to date a man who's sixteen years older than yourself?
Secondly, why are you physically, mentally & emotinonally allowing yourself to be sucked into the lives of 36 year olds, be it willingly or unwillingly?
Thirdly, a therspist is available to help you decipher your feelings towards this man.
2007-07-02 22:00:25 · answer #9 · answered by Sustagurl2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. You're having an off-period. Things will pick up from here, but they certainly won't if you move in with the drinkers. Really. Don't do it. If you need to move out where you are, then do that, but live in a healthy environment.
Good luck.
2007-06-29 15:15:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋